Baby_Girl89
04-16-04, 07:55 PM
<span style="color:darkviolet">i know it's almost a week late but i've been busy and now it's it time for me to finally give my complete review of the worst show ever.
Opening Act - I thought this was one ridiculous piece of work. The singing was shoddy, yes even on Nick's part. Jessica was overbearing, and the pole vaulting was all too cheesy. Besides that everyone knows that she never would really have the guts to go flying through the air like that. And if she ever did she'd fall on her [arse] and break herself. And what was with the extensions? Why in the hell would she need to make her hair so damn long? That was just dumb i wish Nick would've been able to grab all that hair and then swing her around over his head like a l[arse]o that would've been an amusing opening act if you ask me :D. Oh and then like during the whole thing where Jess did her pole vaulting Nick actually sounded good right there but did you notice how he was checking out all those girls while he was waiting for her to come out?
Cartoon Opening - Why did it have to fall on Nick? Because the whole damn show was really supposed to be about Jess. I know it's just a cartoon but good grief can't the man catch a break anywhere? Oh and when she was doing the cartoon singing good God my ears were breaking. And like I said even though it's a cartoon it's almost a bit significant in my eyes. Nick being the chivalrous man and Jess being the ditz not caring that anything was happening to the "love of her life".
Chet Chandler Skit - So I thought Nick was just adorable in this skit and of course they had to capitalize on Jessica's idiocy. You know they did a similar thing when they were on SNL or something else I don't remember. And what was with the line "I'm talking outside my head?" Ugh whatever. Nick was so cute with all of the "thinking" things. Oh and then with the whole Mr. T thing that was so hilarious. And like when he was Jessica's thinking voice haha that was great. I found it so funny when he showed up and was supposed to be Jessica. Nick's reaction was great. He was so funny when he was attempting the whole "With You" thing. I think maybe he should release his own single of that. Oh and then when he asked Nick for some sugar. Haha Nick made the greatest face. Ugh but that whole "I need to drop the kids off at the pool?" Just blah.
Jessica Singing with Jewel - Jewel did an awesome job but why wouldn't she it was her own song. I thought that Jessica totally ruined the song and I mean what the hell was up with all that hand movement she was doing? And why in the hell did she decide she needed to make her voice all nasally to sing the song. I think she tried way too hard to sound like Jewel. I commend Jewel for singing with Jessica and one of her own songs even. I mean I would never do that but then again I would never want to be in the same room as Jessica either. And I think it seemed to me that Jessica was trivializing the song.
The Circus Cartoon - So Jess gets eaten by the lion and then spit back out. Anyone see some sort of significance here? I mean just because Nick whipped the lion I don't think that was the real reason it spit her back out. It had to be because she just leaves a bad taste in the mouths of everyone. Can you tell I don't like the girl? So anyway that's all I have to say about that. Good thing the lion was only a cartoon though because that definitely would've been cruelty to animals.
Nick and Kitt - Nick was so adorable for this part. I never really knew about "Knight Rider" and "Kitt" so it was cute. I just loved this whole thing. Then when they started singing it was just so adorable. Nick I think did a very good job and the car had some sort of je n'ai sais quoi to it. I just wish that they could have kept singing without being interrupted by Jessica. God what a brat she is. Why does she always have to ruin eveything? And then on top of that she came out wearing the most hideous outfit ever. And then of course she had to insult Kitt and make him cry. Oh and then she makes the saddest attempt to make him feel better by joining them in the singing. So she just ruined that segment too.
Mickey Mouse Club Skit - Retarded as usual, but look who I'm talking about. I mean why did she even bother? I mean yeah I guess it's good that you can make fun of yourself but it's like taking it too far with this one. And then like her whole attitude for it and all. I know you guys are going to tell me to take a chill pill because it's just a skit and that's nowhere near being real but when you look at it from a broader scope I think she's really trying to show us the real her with her whole overbearing nature. I mean just give me a break.
Western Skit - So Nick's acting was pretty good. He was so cute trying to be all tough. So then of course Jessica had to be wearing that God awful outfit with her boobs all pushed up toward her neck. I mean I know that they wore similar outfits to that but good gravy. And please like she was really all that, ESP my [arse] just has the idea that every man in the world would want her for her body. Whatever. And my poor Nick getting hit over the head over and over again. I know they were sugar gl[arse] but still. Oh and then when he had to hit himself over the head with the whiskey bottle and had to take off his shirt whoo, damn. I mean for Pete's sake all the guys in there hit their heads with bottles too ;). You gotta admit he was looking hella sexy without his shirt on. Oh and his western accent was pretty damn sexy too :D.
Hollywood Cartoon - Jessica's clutziness does it again as she trips over the cord and has everything crashing down on Nicholas because of course she was conveniently standing where all the "windows" would go over her. The symbolic idea here is that Jessica will in the end once again probably be the death of Nick.
Ten Seconds of Awkwardness with Mr. T - Lmao that was funny. It was absolutely nothing but not only was the audience probably getting a little uncomfortable but so was Mr. T.
Impressions - Jessica doesn't know how to do impressions she can't act she can't do much why God why do you put us through this insanity? I loved Nick's eye rolling and of course he had to have the first few buttons unbuttoned ooo yummy. So her President Bush was ridiculous. Thank God Nick stopped her before she got into talking like Dolly Parton right then. And then Nick doing his JT thing haha. That was too darn cute. But then of course she had to go change into her Dolly Parton outfit. And then Nick was pretty much kicked out so that he could switch places Kenny Rogers.
Jessica Singing with Kenny Rogers - I didn't like this. Jessica tried too hard to sound like Dolly. And her look was horrible. I don't think it looked anything like Dolly at all. And the wig was just atrocious. And all those "uh huhs" that they had to sing together was annoying me with Jess. And I could barely hear Kenny Rogers anyway. It was so stupid. I wish that they hadn't sung together.
It Takes Two - Jessica was horrible with that, Nick did great ;). Jessica did too much of the hand movements again.
Miss Piggy & Kermit - Nick was so cute having his little "singing" talk. I loved when Miss Piggy was all I don't like that show haha. Miss Piggy rocks. And all that "How nice for you" talk from her was too cute. Lmao and "Take your time, I'm already paid," according to Miss Piggy. Aww Miss Piggy and Kermit make such a cute wittle couple.
Nick La-Shave - Haha how many girls would love this. Did you guys catch the Nick Lachey was part of 98 Degrees one of the most popular boy bands of the nineties. Hmm I'm not sure that they were but he just wasn't he is still part of 98 Degrees. Bad Nick for not correcting them. Anyway I think I wouldn't mind having the Nick La-Shave for women. But to be honest the "commercial" almost made him look gay. Nick stick to your day job.
"Batting" - Well it was cool that Nick got to meet one of his favorite baseball players. I felt sorry for the people in the audience. I'm sure that those people were probably part of the crew or extras or something but still, that's a lot of pain to be put through. I would have scrambled away too if I were them.
"Hard for the Money" - Okay what's up with her and the dancing? I mean she can't really dance and that was obvious since she didn't really do most of the dancing with her dancers. But I thought the first part of it where Nick had to play judge was cute. I wouldn't mind him being my judge ;). He can sentence me anytime. And how in the hell does she think that a lawyer would make a joke about a judge going to the bar. *Rolls eyes* And her wig was horrible too, not at all appealing and it did absolutely nothing for her. On a nicer note I did think that her "dancing" outfit was cute. I wouldn't wear it but I don't have the body for it :P. I loved when Nick was dressed as a doggie hehe. I might have to use this picture I just took of him dressed like it and do something. And her as our president? You must be joking me. If she's our president I'm gonna expatriate myself. I don't want to be a citizen of a country that would vote her into office. But anyway that's all I'm saying about this segment, oh and I didn't like the way Jess was singing it either.
Nick Singing with Babyface - That was a darn good performance. Nick sounded so good singing along with Babyface. But you know he was "in his element" as judges of AI would say haha. He did a very very good job and he looked so cute. Just great, so awesome.
Magician Cartoon - Jessica as a magician? Um no. Moving on.
Jessica's "Take My Breath Away" Performance - I hated the beginning right off the bat. And still the extensions so dumb. And of course once again she had to do her whole hand thing right? And what was up with all that breathiness singing type of thing. It's just not as sexy as she thinks it is. I'm sure she thinks it's sexy. You know personally I actually liked how much fuller her voice was on her first CD. Oh and her facial expressions are hilarious. The first time I saw this performance I watched it on mute and I was just overly amused by how she looked as she sang the song. *Rolls eyes* Ugh she's screaming now, and killing my ears all right fast forwarding now :P.
Nick and Jess Pics - Nick's pictures were uber cute. I loved them. I gotta get me the screen caps on those unless I can find them elsewhere. Cute kid hot as hell man let me tell ya. I'm glad they didn't actually show any pics of Jess as a kid though 'cause I might have ended up feeling sorry for the little kid in the pictures and we can't have that now can we? So what was up with the whole "I got my fingers stuck in the belt loop and I was like Oh my God". What a dumb[arse]. And what a cheesy way to lead into their cheesy performance of...
"I Got You Babe" - Such a sad attempt on Jessica's part. And I felt that Nick was learning too much from Jessica when he sort of sounded like he was shouting. I noticed she spent a lot more time looking at him than he did looking at her. And she overexaggerated most of the song as well. It was just cheesy and horrible. They should have just left that song to Sonny and Cher at least when they sang it was genuine.
The Outtakes - See even Nick admits that Jess doesn't treat him right :P. And then there was the Kenny Rogers thing. If she likes Kenny Rogers more than Nick, I'll take Nick off her hands. And God that girl just has no manners. I mean I know it's natural to have gas but have a little bit more cl[arse] about it. Oh and then the whole Mr. Piggy thing. Gee doesn't that seem a bit familiar with everyone calling Nick Mr. Simpson. Oh and I believe Kermit said something like "I'm often called Mr. Piggy, although I don't really like her." Could this be Nick's projection of not like Jess on Kermit? And then of course there was the Nick gagging thing for the "I Got You Babe" thing did he not enjoy that like me or was he gagging from the kiss they shared which I'm sure he actually seemed to be backing away from a bit. And Jess's little thing with putting her hands on her hips for the "She Works Hard for the Money" was just dumb.
Well that's it for me and my review. I hope you enjoyed. I guess I might have just made about a million enemies but Nanners said she wanted to see what I thought and dammit I needed to let it out. All in all I enjoyed it 'cause I was getting amused and yet I was very disappointed that Nick didn't have more of a part in it. As others have said before the whole thing should've been called the "Jessica Variety Hour". I can only hope that this is truly it and that they don't decide to turn it into a series because I can only take so much stupidity from these two. I hope that Nick eventually realizes what a sellout he's become and decides that he needs to stop and go back to being who he really was. The Nick that I first came to know and fell for (music wise and other ways :P). That's all for me folks. Feel free to tell me what you thought about what I had to say. And if you guys want me to go after this, I'll be more than happy to oblige.
~Izzy
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Opening Act - I thought this was one ridiculous piece of work. The singing was shoddy, yes even on Nick's part. Jessica was overbearing, and the pole vaulting was all too cheesy. Besides that everyone knows that she never would really have the guts to go flying through the air like that. And if she ever did she'd fall on her [arse] and break herself. And what was with the extensions? Why in the hell would she need to make her hair so damn long? That was just dumb i wish Nick would've been able to grab all that hair and then swing her around over his head like a l[arse]o that would've been an amusing opening act if you ask me :D. Oh and then like during the whole thing where Jess did her pole vaulting Nick actually sounded good right there but did you notice how he was checking out all those girls while he was waiting for her to come out?
Cartoon Opening - Why did it have to fall on Nick? Because the whole damn show was really supposed to be about Jess. I know it's just a cartoon but good grief can't the man catch a break anywhere? Oh and when she was doing the cartoon singing good God my ears were breaking. And like I said even though it's a cartoon it's almost a bit significant in my eyes. Nick being the chivalrous man and Jess being the ditz not caring that anything was happening to the "love of her life".
Chet Chandler Skit - So I thought Nick was just adorable in this skit and of course they had to capitalize on Jessica's idiocy. You know they did a similar thing when they were on SNL or something else I don't remember. And what was with the line "I'm talking outside my head?" Ugh whatever. Nick was so cute with all of the "thinking" things. Oh and then with the whole Mr. T thing that was so hilarious. And like when he was Jessica's thinking voice haha that was great. I found it so funny when he showed up and was supposed to be Jessica. Nick's reaction was great. He was so funny when he was attempting the whole "With You" thing. I think maybe he should release his own single of that. Oh and then when he asked Nick for some sugar. Haha Nick made the greatest face. Ugh but that whole "I need to drop the kids off at the pool?" Just blah.
Jessica Singing with Jewel - Jewel did an awesome job but why wouldn't she it was her own song. I thought that Jessica totally ruined the song and I mean what the hell was up with all that hand movement she was doing? And why in the hell did she decide she needed to make her voice all nasally to sing the song. I think she tried way too hard to sound like Jewel. I commend Jewel for singing with Jessica and one of her own songs even. I mean I would never do that but then again I would never want to be in the same room as Jessica either. And I think it seemed to me that Jessica was trivializing the song.
The Circus Cartoon - So Jess gets eaten by the lion and then spit back out. Anyone see some sort of significance here? I mean just because Nick whipped the lion I don't think that was the real reason it spit her back out. It had to be because she just leaves a bad taste in the mouths of everyone. Can you tell I don't like the girl? So anyway that's all I have to say about that. Good thing the lion was only a cartoon though because that definitely would've been cruelty to animals.
Nick and Kitt - Nick was so adorable for this part. I never really knew about "Knight Rider" and "Kitt" so it was cute. I just loved this whole thing. Then when they started singing it was just so adorable. Nick I think did a very good job and the car had some sort of je n'ai sais quoi to it. I just wish that they could have kept singing without being interrupted by Jessica. God what a brat she is. Why does she always have to ruin eveything? And then on top of that she came out wearing the most hideous outfit ever. And then of course she had to insult Kitt and make him cry. Oh and then she makes the saddest attempt to make him feel better by joining them in the singing. So she just ruined that segment too.
Mickey Mouse Club Skit - Retarded as usual, but look who I'm talking about. I mean why did she even bother? I mean yeah I guess it's good that you can make fun of yourself but it's like taking it too far with this one. And then like her whole attitude for it and all. I know you guys are going to tell me to take a chill pill because it's just a skit and that's nowhere near being real but when you look at it from a broader scope I think she's really trying to show us the real her with her whole overbearing nature. I mean just give me a break.
Western Skit - So Nick's acting was pretty good. He was so cute trying to be all tough. So then of course Jessica had to be wearing that God awful outfit with her boobs all pushed up toward her neck. I mean I know that they wore similar outfits to that but good gravy. And please like she was really all that, ESP my [arse] just has the idea that every man in the world would want her for her body. Whatever. And my poor Nick getting hit over the head over and over again. I know they were sugar gl[arse] but still. Oh and then when he had to hit himself over the head with the whiskey bottle and had to take off his shirt whoo, damn. I mean for Pete's sake all the guys in there hit their heads with bottles too ;). You gotta admit he was looking hella sexy without his shirt on. Oh and his western accent was pretty damn sexy too :D.
Hollywood Cartoon - Jessica's clutziness does it again as she trips over the cord and has everything crashing down on Nicholas because of course she was conveniently standing where all the "windows" would go over her. The symbolic idea here is that Jessica will in the end once again probably be the death of Nick.
Ten Seconds of Awkwardness with Mr. T - Lmao that was funny. It was absolutely nothing but not only was the audience probably getting a little uncomfortable but so was Mr. T.
Impressions - Jessica doesn't know how to do impressions she can't act she can't do much why God why do you put us through this insanity? I loved Nick's eye rolling and of course he had to have the first few buttons unbuttoned ooo yummy. So her President Bush was ridiculous. Thank God Nick stopped her before she got into talking like Dolly Parton right then. And then Nick doing his JT thing haha. That was too darn cute. But then of course she had to go change into her Dolly Parton outfit. And then Nick was pretty much kicked out so that he could switch places Kenny Rogers.
Jessica Singing with Kenny Rogers - I didn't like this. Jessica tried too hard to sound like Dolly. And her look was horrible. I don't think it looked anything like Dolly at all. And the wig was just atrocious. And all those "uh huhs" that they had to sing together was annoying me with Jess. And I could barely hear Kenny Rogers anyway. It was so stupid. I wish that they hadn't sung together.
It Takes Two - Jessica was horrible with that, Nick did great ;). Jessica did too much of the hand movements again.
Miss Piggy & Kermit - Nick was so cute having his little "singing" talk. I loved when Miss Piggy was all I don't like that show haha. Miss Piggy rocks. And all that "How nice for you" talk from her was too cute. Lmao and "Take your time, I'm already paid," according to Miss Piggy. Aww Miss Piggy and Kermit make such a cute wittle couple.
Nick La-Shave - Haha how many girls would love this. Did you guys catch the Nick Lachey was part of 98 Degrees one of the most popular boy bands of the nineties. Hmm I'm not sure that they were but he just wasn't he is still part of 98 Degrees. Bad Nick for not correcting them. Anyway I think I wouldn't mind having the Nick La-Shave for women. But to be honest the "commercial" almost made him look gay. Nick stick to your day job.
"Batting" - Well it was cool that Nick got to meet one of his favorite baseball players. I felt sorry for the people in the audience. I'm sure that those people were probably part of the crew or extras or something but still, that's a lot of pain to be put through. I would have scrambled away too if I were them.
"Hard for the Money" - Okay what's up with her and the dancing? I mean she can't really dance and that was obvious since she didn't really do most of the dancing with her dancers. But I thought the first part of it where Nick had to play judge was cute. I wouldn't mind him being my judge ;). He can sentence me anytime. And how in the hell does she think that a lawyer would make a joke about a judge going to the bar. *Rolls eyes* And her wig was horrible too, not at all appealing and it did absolutely nothing for her. On a nicer note I did think that her "dancing" outfit was cute. I wouldn't wear it but I don't have the body for it :P. I loved when Nick was dressed as a doggie hehe. I might have to use this picture I just took of him dressed like it and do something. And her as our president? You must be joking me. If she's our president I'm gonna expatriate myself. I don't want to be a citizen of a country that would vote her into office. But anyway that's all I'm saying about this segment, oh and I didn't like the way Jess was singing it either.
Nick Singing with Babyface - That was a darn good performance. Nick sounded so good singing along with Babyface. But you know he was "in his element" as judges of AI would say haha. He did a very very good job and he looked so cute. Just great, so awesome.
Magician Cartoon - Jessica as a magician? Um no. Moving on.
Jessica's "Take My Breath Away" Performance - I hated the beginning right off the bat. And still the extensions so dumb. And of course once again she had to do her whole hand thing right? And what was up with all that breathiness singing type of thing. It's just not as sexy as she thinks it is. I'm sure she thinks it's sexy. You know personally I actually liked how much fuller her voice was on her first CD. Oh and her facial expressions are hilarious. The first time I saw this performance I watched it on mute and I was just overly amused by how she looked as she sang the song. *Rolls eyes* Ugh she's screaming now, and killing my ears all right fast forwarding now :P.
Nick and Jess Pics - Nick's pictures were uber cute. I loved them. I gotta get me the screen caps on those unless I can find them elsewhere. Cute kid hot as hell man let me tell ya. I'm glad they didn't actually show any pics of Jess as a kid though 'cause I might have ended up feeling sorry for the little kid in the pictures and we can't have that now can we? So what was up with the whole "I got my fingers stuck in the belt loop and I was like Oh my God". What a dumb[arse]. And what a cheesy way to lead into their cheesy performance of...
"I Got You Babe" - Such a sad attempt on Jessica's part. And I felt that Nick was learning too much from Jessica when he sort of sounded like he was shouting. I noticed she spent a lot more time looking at him than he did looking at her. And she overexaggerated most of the song as well. It was just cheesy and horrible. They should have just left that song to Sonny and Cher at least when they sang it was genuine.
The Outtakes - See even Nick admits that Jess doesn't treat him right :P. And then there was the Kenny Rogers thing. If she likes Kenny Rogers more than Nick, I'll take Nick off her hands. And God that girl just has no manners. I mean I know it's natural to have gas but have a little bit more cl[arse] about it. Oh and then the whole Mr. Piggy thing. Gee doesn't that seem a bit familiar with everyone calling Nick Mr. Simpson. Oh and I believe Kermit said something like "I'm often called Mr. Piggy, although I don't really like her." Could this be Nick's projection of not like Jess on Kermit? And then of course there was the Nick gagging thing for the "I Got You Babe" thing did he not enjoy that like me or was he gagging from the kiss they shared which I'm sure he actually seemed to be backing away from a bit. And Jess's little thing with putting her hands on her hips for the "She Works Hard for the Money" was just dumb.
Well that's it for me and my review. I hope you enjoyed. I guess I might have just made about a million enemies but Nanners said she wanted to see what I thought and dammit I needed to let it out. All in all I enjoyed it 'cause I was getting amused and yet I was very disappointed that Nick didn't have more of a part in it. As others have said before the whole thing should've been called the "Jessica Variety Hour". I can only hope that this is truly it and that they don't decide to turn it into a series because I can only take so much stupidity from these two. I hope that Nick eventually realizes what a sellout he's become and decides that he needs to stop and go back to being who he really was. The Nick that I first came to know and fell for (music wise and other ways :P). That's all for me folks. Feel free to tell me what you thought about what I had to say. And if you guys want me to go after this, I'll be more than happy to oblige.
~Izzy
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