PDA

View Full Version : :: When You Kiss Me ::

SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:16 AM
This was previously posted on the 98°MB. Without being greedy, I wanted more than just one reply to it.

Hope you enjoy it. =)
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:35 AM
Kellie looked back at the building behind her and sighed. She turned and looked forward and kept on walking. She knew she couldn’t let her past bring her down anymore.
Backtrack five years ago when the entire story actually began. Kellie had just graduated from high school with hopes of not only attending college next but a long-term goal of spending the rest of her life with her high school sweetheart, Matt. Between years of living with one another and dating, he had finally proposed during the beginning of their senior year. Kellie was floating high on cloud nine. But soon after the engagement, things had taken a nosedive. Kellie and Matt would never be as happy as they once were and soon would debate about canceling the wedding. Unfortunately, Kellie wouldn’t have to debate over it any longer when she came home one day to find Matt already packing.
Fast forward to the present. Kellie had agreed to let Matt keep the apartment while she would be the one to move out and venture solo.
As she left, she never could imagine the experience that would be before her. She wouldn’t be able to fathom her future let alone the next two days.
As Kellie walked down the long block to the train station, she looked at the store windows she p[arse]ed seeing trinkets here and there. As she came up on a jewelry store, she went to walk towards the window but slipped on a patch of ice that still hadn’t melted from the snowstorm earlier that week.
“Are you okay?” A guy from behind asked her as he went to help her up.
Kellie giggled at herself and then stood up with the man’s help. “Thanks. I guess I didn’t see that patch of ice.” She laughed.
“You fine?” He asked her again.
Kellie nodded. “Yeah. My butt might be bruised but I think I’m good to go.” She laughed. She turned to face him and smiled when she did. “Thanks.” She smiled once again but then suddenly her foot slipped on the ice and he caught her before she went down.
“You sure you’re okay?” He laughed at her for almost falling again. “I mean, maybe I should get you off the ice first.”
Kellie nodded. “Just might be best.” She smiled as she stepped off the ice carefully, holding onto the man in front of her.
“Can you make it off the block without slipping?” He laughed.
Kellie blushed embarr[arse]ingly and then nodded. “Ya know, I think I can make this one.” She smiled as she let go of him and then turned towards her original direction. “Thanks though.”
He nodded and watched as she walked off. He turned and walked down the block, still fixated on the woman he had just helped.
Kellie rushed down the stairs to the train station with a bounce in her step. Although she had just ended the most important and longest relationship in her life, she saw that things were perking up for her. Maybe life without Matt would be a good thing for her. In two days, it would be a perfect life for her.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:35 AM
She dropped the token in the slot and then pushed her way through the turnstile. She ran down the stairs and into the nearest door making it into the train before the doors had closed on her. She looked around and noticed a seat empty and then walked towards it. As she inched her way in the seat, she dropped her wallet as the train jerked suddenly. As she went to pick it up, the man next to her picked it up for her and handed it back.
“Thank you.” She smiled and then looked up at him. “Don’t you look familiar?” She smiled. “Something falls and you’re there to pick it up?” She joked.
“Guess so.” He laughed.
“My name’s Kellie.”
“Nick.”
“So Nick, when something else falls in two days from now can I expect to see you around?” She smiled.
Nick laughed. “If you’re lucky enough.” He joked with her.
“I guess I’ll have to wait now.” She bit her bottom lip and then stood up when she heard the conductor announce her stop next. She swayed her purse back and forth until it accidentally hit him in the knee. “Sorry.” She laughed as she walked towards the doors. “See ya in two days?” She asked as the doors opened.
Nick stood up and followed her out. “How about now?” He asked her.
“Nothing has fallen yet.” She told him as she walked towards the stairs backwards facing him.
Nick walked towards her and pulled her loose scarf off her neck and dropped it onto the floor. “Looks like I’m needed.”
Kellie was instantly attracted to him and watched as he picked up her scarf.
“Here ya go.” He handed the scarf back to her.
She kept it in her hand and then leaned in towards him. Unexpectedly, she grabbed him and kissed him with a fire and p[arse]ion she never knew she possessed.
Nick looked at her after the kiss with a large smile on his face. “Do you normally greet strangers that way?”
Kellie grinned. “Nope. You’re just a lucky stranger I guess!”
“Lucky I am.” He smiled before kissing her again.
Kellie returned his kiss as her mind wondered back in time. Her mind flashed back on her long romance with Matt and how it never moved anywhere. She suddenly thought of skipping the entire process. “Nick?” She asked.
“What is it?”
“Answer me this. You lucky in love?”
Nick shook his head in disagreement.
“What do you say to skipping it all? Saving us from the months of agonizing dating and finding out about each other. Makes marriage kind of dull in the end.” She hoped he’d jump in with an agreement but never gave him the chance. “I mean, let’s face it. We like one another. The rest is crap. Let’s run with that.”
Nick stared at her in confusion. “I’d ask but I’m too confused.”
“Why don’t we just jump right in? Take the dive! Get married.” She suggested.
“Married?”
Kellie nodded. “Can’t waste all of my life in a relationship that won’t go anywhere.” She began.
“Hmm-” He thought. “Why not?”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:36 AM
Nick smiled at the end of the ceremony. He waited for priest to conclude the wedding before kissing his new wife.
Kellie exhaled. She didn’t think that he’d even want to go through with what she had said but he did. A part of her already knew. Although they knew nothing about one another, they simply knew they were meant to get married.
“You may now kiss the bride.” The priest looked over at Nick and waited for him to kiss Kellie.
Nick leaned in to kiss her. He held his hand on her waist and felt as her pants hugged her waist.
Kellie smiled against his lips as she felt them pressed up against hers. “This feels right.” She whispered.
As the two walked out of the chapel, it finally hit Nick as to what he had done. “You know, people always say I don’t take chances.”
Kellie smiled. “Well, I’d like to think this was taking a chance.”
“Guess I proved them wrong.”
“I’d say so. I think impulse marriage is pretty risky.” She smiled as she held onto his hand. “So what do you think you’re parents will say?” She asked. This was the first time either of them discussed anything other than one another.
“I think they will-” He began to think. He already knew how they would react. Not well, not well at all.
“Bad huh?” She asked as she looked down at the floor.
“No, no. It’s just-”
“You don’t have to make up excuses or anything. To be honest, my parents are probably going to kill me. Looks like you’ll be a widower in no time!” She joked.
Nick turned to her and stopped her. “This is pretty fast.”
Kellie nodded. “Beyond fast. I promise, I’m not that forward about things.”
“Trust me, nor am I.”
“We’ve established that.” She whispered into his ear.
Nick laughed and gently kissed her. “You know, I think I could get used to doing that.” He smiled.
Kellie grinned. “Good because it looks like you have no choice. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. That must suck, huh?”
“Yeah it does.” He told her sarcastically.
“Hey, I’d watch it if I were you.” She began. “People get divorced faster than they get married.”
“Hopefully, we don’t have to worry about that.”
Kellie could already tell that she won the jackpot with this one.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:37 AM
It wouldn’t be until the next day when the two decided to tell the families of what they had done. As they ate breakfast in a nearby restaurant, they both noticed the mannerisms of the other. They tried to memorize everything about their new spouses.
“French toast kind of guy, huh?”
Nick nodded. “I wish I could say the same for you.” He laughed as he watched her drink her coffee.
“So what, if I don’t like eating in the morning? I’m not big on breakfast. I never was.”
“Mornings will be interesting at our house then.” He joked.
“Our house.” She grinned. “Where is that anyway?”
Nick thought and thought. “Where? I don’t know.”
“So where do you live?” She asked him as she took a small bite of his French toast.
“Call me crazy but isn’t this what happens on a first date?” He asked her as he watched her eat his food. “Like it?”
Kellie blushed and nodded. “Remember, we didn’t have a first date. This is sorta like ours.”
“Except we’re already married.” Nick finished.
Kellie nodded. “That’s just a little exception.” She smiled. “Let me guess. You live in some ritzy building with some old chubby guy as your doorman.”
Nick smiled. “Is that how you see me?” He asked her.
Kellie bit her bottom lip. “Am I wrong?” She asked him.
Nick nodded. “I’m farther away from the chubby doormen and upper society.”
“East L.A.?” She rolled her eyes with a chuckle. “I hope I wrong.” She prayed.
Nick laughed. “I’ll save you the torment. Just a small two-bedroom apartment. There’s always a chubby little cat outside my building though. Makes up for the lack of a doorman.” He joked with her.
Kellie laughed. “A kitty?” She smiled. “I like kitties.” She grinned.
“What about you?” He began. “Where do you come from?”
“Where do you think?”
He studied her and wondered. He had an idea but couldn’t really place his finger on it.
“Is it hard?” She asked.
“You seem like someone who’d live in San Francisco somewhere. Near all the little independent shops and trends.”
“You’re cl[arse]ifying me as the essential earthy type of girl, aren’t you?”
“Am I wrong?”
“Born and raised in San Francisco but I won’t hold it against you.” She chuckled.
“So you still live there?” He asked her.
“No. I had this small apartment there but that didn’t really work out for me. I ended up back home.”
“What happened?”
“I got unlucky in love.” She simply stated.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:38 AM
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” He tried to tell her.
“I guess not. I ended up married anyway.” She smiled.
“Think you made the right choice?” He asked her.
Kellie nodded. “I’d like to think so. I already did something else I wouldn’t ever do.”
“What’s that?”
She pointed to his dish. “Food at 9 in the morning doesn’t really mix well with me.” She smiled.
“Does it now?”
“It’s beginning to.” She smiled. She looked around and noticed as a woman walked out of the bathroom. “Excuse me for a sec. There’s finally not a line at the little girl’s room.” She leaned over and gently kissed him before heading off to the bathroom.
As she was away, Nick heard her cell phone ringing from her purse. He wasn’t sure if he should look through it and open it up to answer her phone. Against his better judgment, he rummaged through her purse and took out her phone. “Hello?” He asked as he answered it without looking at the name.
“Sorry, I must have the wrong number.”
“Who are you looking for?” Nick asked. “Looking for Kellie?”
“Is she there?” The woman asked.
“Yeah she is. Well, she was. She just ran off to the bathroom for a moment. Who is this?”
“Who’s this?” She asked.
Although he had wanted to respond by saying that he was her husband, he opted not to. “My name’s Nick. And you?”
“Madeline, Kellie’s mother.”
Nick stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Her mother. He hoped she didn’t already perceive him to be an idiot, although he knew she did. “She’ll be right with you.” He managed to tell her before he covered the voice piece and waited for Kellie to come out of the bathroom. When he saw her come to the table, he handed the phone over to her. “It’s your mother.” He told her.
Kellie sighed and took it from him. “Hi Mom.”
“Where have you been? Your father has been worried about you.”
“Mom, I’m not 4 years old anymore. I have a life.” She looked at Nick and sighed.
Nick took her hand and rubbed it. He wanted to let her know that he was there for her and that he always would be.
“You still coming for dinner?”
“Can I take a rain check?” She asked.
“Where have you been?” She asked her. She wanted the truth out of her daughter.
“Ma, I’m fine. Stop worrying.”
Madeline knew something was up. “Who is that Nick guy and what is he doing getting your phone?”
“He’s just a-someone I know.” She couldn’t say friend, she couldn’t say husband. She couldn’t say anything.
“He good?”
Kellie sighed. “Yes mother.”
“Bring him for dinner. Everyone’s coming.”
“But Mom-”
“No buts. See you tonight at 6. Bye.”
Kellie looked up at her new husband and hung up the phone when she heard the dial tone. “Welcome to my perfect family.” She sarcastically told him.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:39 AM
Nick could tell that she was nervous. Soon, he’d be in the same boat when he brought her home to meet his parents. He had a feeling that her parents would be more unwilling to accept their impulse marriage. He felt her hands trembling as he held them. He wanted her to calm down. Although they barely knew one another, it was almost as if they had known one another for years.
“I feel as if I should warn you about my family. They’re crazy.” She began.
“Everyone has a few nuts in their family Kel.”
“No, see I have a lot. I think I’m the only sane one in my entire family. Well me and my brother.”
“Brother? Do I sense trouble?” He asked her with a smile.
“Trouble? My brother? I highly doubt it. He’s sane. He’s not one of those typical over protective brothers that needs to know a guy inside and out and beat him up before he let’s them go out with their sister. If that’s what you meant.”
“Yep. That’s what I meant. Just as well. I’m not in the mood to get beaten up today.” He told her just as he parked in front of her parents’ house.
“You’re not?” She asked. “Could have fooled me last night!” She joked as she got out of the car and then walked towards the front door. “C’mon slow poke!” She called out to him just as she rang the bell.
Nick caught up with her and held her hand.
“Think we’re ready to meet the parents?” She asked him.
“As long as it doesn’t turn out like the movie, I’m ready.”
“It won’t.” She [arse]ured him. “I promise.” She smiled and kissed him.
“Another one so fast?” Her brother asked her just as he opened up the door.
“Hi Michael.” She smiled as she let go of Nick to hug her brother.
“Doesn’t look like Matt.” He whispered into her ear.
“Well that’s cause he isn’t him.” She whispered back before letting go. “Nick, this is my brother Michael. Michael, Nick.” She introduced them.
“Nice to meet you.” Nick told Michael. Michael simply nodded.
“Does Mom know that you’re bringing a guy to dinner?”
“She’s the one who invited him.” She told him as she walked inside. Nick followed behind her.
“Interesting, interesting.” Michael spoke. “You picked a good day to come man.” He told Nick just as he noticed a wedding band on his finger.
Kellie took her husband’s hand and led him into the living room where she saw her mother. “Ma?”
“Hey. You’re here early.” She told her and noticed Nick. “You must be Nick.” She extended her hand out to him and he accepted and shook it. She noticed the exact same as Michael did, the wedding band. “Why don’t you and Michael go back outside and he can introduce you to everyone?” She suggested.
Nick nodded and went off with her brother as her mother kept Kellie nearby.
“What is it?” Kellie asked as she watched Nick go off.
“He’s married Kellie!” She exclaimed.
Kellie smiled. “Really?” She asked. “Never noticed.” She joked before walking off.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:40 AM
Kellie walked over to Nick when she saw him talking to her brother and aunt. She already felt bad for him and they haven’t even been married for long.
“I’ve come to save you.” She told him as she peaked in from behind.
He smiled and looked at her. “Where are those nuts you were talking about?” He whispered into her ear so her aunt couldn’t hear.
“You haven’t met any yet?” She joked. “Just don’t know my mother well enough yet.” Kellie excused herself when she heard her mother calling her from inside. She walked back inside and headed towards the kitchen. “What’s up now?” She asked her.
“Care to tell me what’s going on Kellie?”
“Nothing Mom.” She lied. “Nothing at all.”
“You’re lying to me. Something’s going on and you won’t tell me what it is. I wish you would tell me already. I don’t see the purpose in you lying to me about it.”
“What am I lying about?”
“This Nick character. He seems shady.”
“How so Mom?”
“Since when do you go out with married men?” She asked her daughter. “I mean, there just better be some amazing story to tell me about it. I don’t accept you going out with married men Kellie. Are you trying to be some home wrecker?”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Kellie screamed at her. “You’re so freaking blind sometimes Mom. I don’t know where the hell you’re head is!” She screamed and then stormed off.
Outside, their screaming could be heard.
Michael looked over at Nick and Nick simply looked down at the ground. Suddenly he was the reason that his wife and her mother were fighting. He hadn’t meant to be.
Kellie walked back outside and stormed towards Nick. “Come on let’s go. It was a mistake to think I could come here and be treated like a civil person.”
“Kel-” He began.
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She already knew what he was going to tell her and she didn’t want to hear it. “She doesn’t listen to me so why should I even bother listening to her?”
“She’s your mother honey. She’s supposed to nag.” He [arse]ured her.
“She treats me like I’m five years old and I’m not. I’m twenty-four and for once I’d like to be treated like I am twenty-four.”
“She just wants what’s best for you.” He tried to defend her mother. He tried to make Kellie see that she was being irrational. Right now, that was the worst thing to do.
“Nick, I’m leaving. I don’t want to stay here anymore. Why should I? So I can get more ticked off than I already am?” She asked him. “I don’t want to. I just want to go.” She went on before turning around.
Nick looked up when he saw her mother coming out. He sighed. So much for being accepted easily.
“Listen, I just want you to tell me what’s going on.” Madeline simply told her daughter.
Kellie nodded. “Fine! You wanna know what’s going on?” She asked.
Madeline nodded. “I do.” She told her daughter as Kellie’s father stepped out onto the deck.
“Nick and I got married!”
“What?!”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:42 AM
Kellie turned and looked at her father. Her eyes quickly widened. “Hi Daddy.” She bit her lip.
“What did you just say?” He asked her.
Kellie sighed. She knew there was no getting out of the way he responded. She knew that there was no way to lie to him or act as if it were a joke. “I got married.” She told him again. She took a step back and walked to Nick and stood by him.
“So you’re the guy?” He asked Nick.
Nick simply nodded.
“You couldn’t have the decency to call and tell us you were marrying someone?” He asked his daughter. “I know how picking up the phone must be hard for you to do.”
Kellie ran a hand through her hair. “Yes, it is hard!” She told him. “The same way it’s hard for you to pick up the phone to find out what the hell is going on in my life.” She exclaimed. “If you and Mom couldn’t come out and tell me and Michael that you two were divorced, then why should it have to be easy for me to tell you that I got married? Why should I even have to tell you at all?” She asked him. “It was a big mistake even coming here.” She told Nick. “Told you we were nuts.”
Nick said nothing. He didn’t know what to say to either Kellie or her parents. He hadn’t wanted to come off a certain way. As of the moment, he wasn’t coming off in anyway. They saw him as quiet. He simply took in everything he saw.
“You’re probably already scared.” She whispered to him. “Let’s just go. Like I said Nick, it was a big mistake coming here.” She finished before looking over at her brother and then leaving.
Nick followed her. Why wouldn’t he? He was her husband. It would have been more awkward to stay there. It would have been very awkward for everyone. “Kellie, honey, wait up!” He tried to grab her attention.
Kellie stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him. “What is it?”
“What the hell just happened in there? It was like a family reunion gone bad.”
“Now you know why I don’t like them a lot. Ever since my parent’s got divorced, nothing has ever been the same in my family. My brother hates our father. My father hates my mother. I can go on. Just stop me at any time.” She told him.
Nick tried to comfort her and took her in his arms. “Kellie, call me crazy but people won’t go see their family when they can’t stand them. Or maybe that’s just me.”
“Oh no, I try to avoid them but they don’t get it! I can’t escape them no matter how hard I try!”
“Maybe we’ll have better luck meeting my parents?” He suggested.
“Oh we better! I’m holding you to that Lachey!”
Nick smiled. “For some odd reason it’s pretty sexy when you call me by my last name.”
“Oh really?” She paused. “Mean it Lachey?” She grinned as she said it again. “I can keep on going.” She told him.
“Well, who am I to stop you?” He kissed her.
“Who are you to stop me?” She asked as she returned his kiss.
“Why do I have the feeling like this is the wrong place to be doing this?” He whispered against her lips.
Kellie let her arms wrap around his neck as she kissed him p[arse]ionately. “Oh, it is.” She told him. “It is.”
“Should we take this home?”
“I like the sound of that.” She smiled against his lips. She let her hand reach into his pocket and pull out his keys. She grabbed them tightly and then pulled away from him. “Let’s rush home.” She squealed as she ran over to the car, hopped in and started up the car. “If I drive fast, we can make it home five minutes.”
“Speed and drive through red lights.”
“I wanna end up in a bed with you not in two separate beds in a hospital somewhere.”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 01:44 AM
Despite their setback with meeting her parents, the two went on. Their relationship continued and soon Kellie began moving her things into Nick’s apartment. They were headed for wedded bliss. They already knew.
“To your left.” She directed. “Wait! To your right.” She went on. “Just keep on going up. Keep straight.”
“Honey, what the hell do you have in this thing?”
“Just stuff.” She responded to him as she tried to hold up the trunk herself.
“Like what? Shoes?” He asked her.
“All of my shoes can’t fit in there Nick!” She joked with him.
“I pray that you’re pulling my chain.”
“The trunk was my grandmother’s. She gave it to me because I always used to hide in there whenever my mom would come to take me back home. I keep tons of things in there. Clothes, pictures, jewelry. You name it, it’s in there.”
Nick finally placed the trunk down inside their apartment. “How can one person have so much?”
“I don’t have that much Nick. I have clothes, a trunk and a lamp.”
Nick looked at her.
“All right. Maybe another box or two.”
“Looks like the extra bedroom is pretty handy after all.”
“At least I know where all of my things will be.” She winked at him.
“Not everything is going in there.”
“It will when I attempt at decorating this place. After all, you have to agree that this place needs some color. It’s so plain.”
“I knew having a woman around was a good thing.” He told himself.
“Why? So I could decorate for you?”
Nick nodded. “Yeah, that too.”
“Why else?” She asked him.
“I have other thoughts but none that I can freely say with our door wide open.”
Kellie kneeled onto her trunk top and crawled over to him. “Then why don’t you whisper it into my ear?”
“We can just close the door.”
“Then why don’t we?” She asked as she pulled him down to her from his shirt. “C’mere.â₠ She whispered as she kissed him.
“I could get used to doing things like this.” He told her.
Kellie smiled. “Good because you’ll have to. I’ll make it fun. Promise.”
Nick definitely knew. He was in love.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:09 PM
After the two had moved all of Kellie’s things into his apartment, the two went straight to bed. They were too tired to do anything else that day.
When Kellie rolled over in bed the next day, she couldn’t feel Nick next to her but heard the water running from the bathroom. She figured he was simply taking a shower and thought nothing of it as she heard the water shut off. She turned right back over and went to bed.
As he walked through the front door, he looked around and noticed some changed in the place. He noticed some new pieces of furniture and fixtures. As he walked into the bathroom, he walked over to the bed and shook the person before him. “Wake up. It’s late. We gotta go.”
Kellie rolled in bed and slowly woke up. “What?” She asked before throwing the covers off of her. She stared at the person in front of her and grabbed the covers right back up. “Who the hell are you?” She asked with rage inside of her.
“Who are you?” He asked her.
“I asked you first!” She yelled at him.
“Where’s Nick?” He asked.
“What’s it to you?”
“Can’t you answer a question without another question or crude remark?”
“Not at-” She paused and looked at the time. “7 in the morning.” She finished. “I’ll ask again. Who are you?”
“Nick’s brother, Drew. You?”
“You’re Drew?” She asked as she sat upright in their bed.
Drew nodded. “Heard of me.”
“You’ve been mentioned.”
“Hmm.”
”What?”
“Funny. You haven’t.”
“I know.” She told him as she rubbed her eyes.
“Who are you?” He asked her again.
“My name’s Kellie.” She extended her hand out to him. “I’m Nick’s-” She paused again. She knew she shouldn’t tell him without talking to Nick first but felt as if she should anyway.
“Nick’s what?” He asked.
“I’m his wife.” She finished off.
Nick peaked out of the bathroom and smiled. “Spitfire, ain’t she?” He asked.
“Married?” Drew asked him.
Nick nodded. “Fifth day and counting.” He smiled and looked at Kellie.
“And counting.” She grinned. Now she knew it. She was in love the same way he was.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:10 PM
Kellie looked at both Nick and Drew. “Where are you two going?” She asked them. “It’s too early to budge.”
“Out?” Drew offered.
“Really informative there.” She joked. “Seriously though, where are you guys going?” She wondered.
“A meeting.” Nick told her.
“People have meetings at the crack of dawn?” She asked him. “I thought they had them at like 9 or something.”
“By the time we get there and wait for everyone else to come.”
“Not to mention getting breakfast.” Drew added.
“I can make you that.” She told him as she slowly hopped out of bed.
“Unless you went food shopping-” Drew began.
“Why? Does this man not buy food?”
“Hit it on the button.” He laughed.
“Come on. There’s gotta be something in here to cook. People always have eggs and bread.”
“Might find the bread.” Drew told her.
“Might be old and moldy.” Nick finished with a laugh.
“Then I know what I have to do today.” Kellie laughed as she put on her slippers and walked over to the bathroom. “When’s the last time you even went food shopping?” She asked Nick as she kissed him.
“Well today’s the 11th-” He began. “Umm-last month?”
Kellie chuckled as she brushed her teeth. “Guess it’s high time that we get some food in this place. What do you do anyways? Eat out every day?”
Nick nodded.
“That’s disgusting and sad. Can’t you cook?”
Drew laughed from the other side of the bedroom. “Nick? Cook? No, that never happens.”
“And you wouldn’t want that happening.” He told her.
She quickly finished up and rinsed her mouth and then looked over at him. “Why not?”
“Why? Because if I cook, I’ll burn the place down.”
“I doubt it.”
“No, he really will.”
Kellie laughed. “Guess that means that I’ll be cooking for the rest of my life!” She joked before walking off to see just what she could cook for them.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:11 PM
Kellie looked at both Nick and Drew. “Where are you two going?” She asked them. “It’s too early to budge.”
“Out?” Drew offered.
“Really informative there.” She joked. “Seriously though, where are you guys going?” She wondered.
“A meeting.” Nick told her.
“People have meetings at the crack of dawn?” She asked him. “I thought they had them at like 9 or something.”
“By the time we get there and wait for everyone else to come.”
“Not to mention getting breakfast.” Drew added.
“I can make you that.” She told him as she slowly hopped out of bed.
“Unless you went food shopping-” Drew began.
“Why? Does this man not buy food?”
“Hit it on the button.” He laughed.
“Come on. There’s gotta be something in here to cook. People always have eggs and bread.”
“Might find the bread.” Drew told her.
“Might be old and moldy.” Nick finished with a laugh.
“Then I know what I have to do today.” Kellie laughed as she put on her slippers and walked over to the bathroom. “When’s the last time you even went food shopping?” She asked Nick as she kissed him.
“Well today’s the 11th-” He began. “Umm-last month?”
Kellie chuckled as she brushed her teeth. “Guess it’s high time that we get some food in this place. What do you do anyways? Eat out every day?”
Nick nodded.
“That’s disgusting and sad. Can’t you cook?”
Drew laughed from the other side of the bedroom. “Nick? Cook? No, that never happens.”
“And you wouldn’t want that happening.” He told her.
She quickly finished up and rinsed her mouth and then looked over at him. “Why not?”
“Why? Because if I cook, I’ll burn the place down.”
“I doubt it.”
“No, he really will.”
Kellie laughed. “Guess that means that I’ll be cooking for the rest of my life!” She joked before walking off to see just what she could cook for them.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:14 PM
Drew watched her walk off and then looked over at Nick. “Impulse?” He asked.
Nick nodded. “Why?”
“Not like you bro.”
“And what do you know?”
“I’ll put it this way. Two years with Jessica and you weren’t even sure.”
“She wasn’t ready.”
“How do you know that Kellie is?” Drew asked him.
“Just do.” Nick told him as he began making up the bed.
“How’d you two meet? You didn’t just run into one another and suddenly decide to marry. Did you?”
Nick sighed. “Kinda.”
“Mom’s gonna have a field day with this one. She gave me slack with Lea and we knew one another for how long?”
Nick tried not to think about it. So far, there weren’t many people on their side. Drew didn’t seem to mind. He wanted more than just his brother to be excited for the both of them. He never thought that their marrying would affect as many people as it did. “She’ll say some things but I’m sure it won’t be that big of an issue. It’s not as if Kellie’s a bad person. She’s actually pretty perfect for me.”
“Nick, I hate to break to you but to you any girl is pretty perfect for you. Do you have anything in common at least?”
Nick nodded. “A lot actually.” He told him as he finished up the bed.
“Name one thing.”
“We both love music. We both have a huge p[arse]ion for it.” He stopped. “Why do I even have to explain myself to you?”
“Why not? Consider this getting ready for Christmas when you’ll have to take her home. You know Mom’s going to question the both of you. You already know she will.”
Nick nodded. No one would make their marriage easy.
“As long as you’re happy with her, that’s all that matters to you. Hopefully you two really mean those vows you took.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I guess I just think of it as stupid, for lack of a better word. How could you be with someone for so long and never marry them when you knew they were right for you? Then five seconds later you turn around and marry someone whom you don’t really know. It just makes no sense to me. I don’t see how it makes sense to you.”
Kellie overheard their conversation from where she was standing. She went back towards the bedroom to tell them both that she had found things to cook and had already begun. Although she was happy to know that her husband was defending her, at the same time she was saddened. Saddened because the only people who had faith in them were themselves. It even scared her.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:16 PM
He knew what she had been going through. He knew everything that she had thought about for the past few weeks. He could sense that she had been figuring out numerous things since they married. He just wished that he would open to him for a change instead of running to others. He knew that she had always turned to her brother when things were getting rough in her life. Now with a husband in her life, he simply wanted her to be able to turn to him, instead of turning elsewhere.
Nick looked at he as she brought in some of the groceries. He hadn’t stood up to help her and kept on with watching his game on ESPN.
Drew noticed her coming in and saw all of the bags she had in her hands. He stood up to help her.
“Thanks.” She smiled.
“Went all out?” He asked her.
Nick looked over at the two and was frustrated that they were making noise.
Kellie said nothing. She knew that he had wanted to see this game for quite some time now. She went on her way and placed the groceries where they belonged and Drew went back to the couch to watch the game. She had taken on the role of being a wife well.
It wasn’t until the commercial had gone on that they said something to one another.
“So, whatcha want for dinner?” She asked him as she took off her jacket and went to hang it up.
Nick shrugged and didn’t say anything.
“Well, you’re hungry right?” She asked.
Nick nodded.
“Okay then. So what do you want?” She asked him again, hoping that he would answer her this time.
Nick shrugged at her once again. “I don’t know.”
“I bought a ton of stuff.” She told him as she went over to him to kiss him.
Drew just watched the two from afar.
He kissed her but then slightly pushed her away.
Kellie sighed. “Are you eating with us Drew or bailing after the end of the game?” She asked him.
“Depends.” He told her.
“On?”
“Whatcha eating.” He replied.
“Well I’m trying to find out.” She told him as she then looked back at her husband. “What about chicken? I bought some potatoes and veggies. I can make some baked chicken for dinner.”
“I’m in the mood for pizza.” He told her.
“I didn’t buy the stuff for pizza though Nick.”
“So order one.” He went on. “One with pepperoni and onions. Sausage too.”
“Why should we have to order food when I just filled the place up with food. I went food shopping for a reason Nick. It wasn’t so that I could put it all away and simply order out all the time.”
“Well I want pizza.”
“Looks like I married a five year old little boy.” She muttered to herself before walking back into the kitchen. She rummaged through a drawer and took out a piece of paper. She picked up the phone and tossed both onto the couch where Nick was. “You do know how to dial, don’t you?”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:16 PM
Drew watched as Kellie walked into the bedroom, leaving Nick with his mouth wide open.
“And this is why you shouldn’t disagree.” He told him.
“Excuse me?” Nick asked him as he picked up the phone and began to dial.
“At least order something she likes.” Drew told him before getting up to see if his new sister-in-law was alright.
Nick went and ordered and then quickly went back to watching his game. He still paid no attention to his wife.
Kellie, on the other hand, sat down on her side of the bed.
“You alright?” Drew asked her.
Kellie looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Nick’s a jerk?” He suggested.
“Tell me something I didn’t know.” She told him.
“So you knew?”
Kellie nodded. “Should have known. Never come between him and sports. Now I know though that I can’t even interrupt during a commercial. Never knew he was so interested in those Gap commercials.” She chuckled.
“Don’t let him get to you.”
“How can I not? I mean, after all, I’m married to him.” She told him with a sense of resentment in her voice.
“You say that as if you regret it.”
“I don’t.”
“Then why say it that way then?” He asked her.
Kellie shrugged. “Here, answer me this. How is it that when you get married everything is simply perfect yet as time rolls on it slowly descends downhill? The happiness fades and it’s like your stuck in this rut?”
“I wouldn’t know personally.” He answered her.
“You just see it everywhere.” She began. “It’s happened with my parents, yours as well. It’s in movies, music and then I come home and somehow I’m living in that. It’s like it’s all somehow slipping away. The problem isn’t that so much as how fast it’s slipping away.” She sighed. “That’s what I can’t stand. Drew, we’re barely married. I mean, we are but we haven’t been for long. Already it’s going into a downward spiral. It’s as if the magic is already gone, we’ve already fallen into the typical married life stereotype. Trust me, I’ve tried to change it but nothing’s working with this guy.” She paused, almost to wait for a response but before he had the chance, began speaking again. “Was he always like this? Are men always like this? In a weird way it was the reason Nick and I got married, for me at least.”
“I don’t get it. Call me crazy but I don’t even understand why you two got married. It’s like one minute you two like each other and the next you don’t. That isn’t the way marriage is supposed to be Kel.”
“Well it’s not gonna be all roses and chocolate covered strawberries Drew. Sorry if that’s the way you see it. Marriage isn’t like that.”
“For someone who’s only been married for a few weeks, you’re no expert at it. I wouldn’t speak.”
She knew he was right but still no mater what, couldn’t understand why her marriage took a sudden spiral.
“Ever think that just maybe you two getting married was a big mistake?”
“And waiting years after years for one guy to propose is the right thing to do? That’s why I ended up marrying Nick. There was an instant attraction and I didn’t want to lose that. At the same time, I didn’t want to wait for years for us to date, then propose and all of that which I thought we’d be fine without.”
“But you’re not fine without it. Rushing into something isn’t like Nick. Of what I know about you Kel, it isn’t like you either. I think if you don’t somehow end this soon, you’ll be miserable forever.”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:17 PM
Kellie took Drew’s words and carefully thought about them. She knew that he was right but couldn’t bring herself to speak with Nick about it. She wanted everything to work out. Yes, she wasn’t the type to suddenly marry but neither was Nick, yet they went through with it. Together they did a lot that they never would do on any other day. As wrong as they were for one another, they were right. As unhappy as they were, they were happy. And although none of this would ever make sense, somehow it would to them, and only them. Kellie was determined to make it all work, somehow.
As the night ended, and Drew left, she knew this was her chance. She knew, although she didn’t want to, they needed to speak. They needed to get their thoughts out in the open.
“Nick?” She asked as she washed up the last plate.
Nick turned to her. “Yeah?”
“Would it be wrong of me to ask what’s wrong?” She asked in a bare whisper.
“What did you say?”
She stopped and turned off the water and then dried off her hands. “What’s wrong with us? We just got married and we’re already fighting. I don’t want to live like this.”
“Kellie, every couple fights.” He began.
“But not the way we do.” She interjected.
Nick nodded. He knew that she was right. He hated to admit that. “I suppose so. I never wanted to say it. Thought it was a phase. Something that people go through.”
“It isn’t Nick. If it were, wouldn’t it have p[arse]ed already?” She asked him. “In one way we’re barely married yet in another it’s as if we’ve been married for years. Somehow, there’s something wrong in that.”
Nick knew she was right, yet again. “Fine. What do you suggest we do about it then?”
Kellie sighed. “What do you suggest?” She asked. ”I like asking you for your opinion on things but you never ever seem to answer me.”
“If I knew how to answer you, I would.” He told her as he broke the pizza box in half and threw it away in the trash.
“Then, why can’t you just tell me that then? I want you to be honest with me.” She told him. “Even if you’re pissed off with me. Even if you wanna tell me to shut the hell up.” She went on. “I just want you to talk to me, whether it be positive or negative.”
“Welcome to my world.” He sighed.
“Huh?”
“I guess I could say that it works both ways.”
“How so?”
“Well, we’re married now, right?”
Kellie nodded.
Nick sat up atop the counter and went on with his thoughts. “Then shouldn’t there be some communication in our marriage? Shouldn’t we talk to one another when we’re ticked off? Shouldn’t we tell one another what’s on our minds?”
“Of course Nick.”
”Then why do you always run off to your brother whenever things get rough?” He asked her. “You’re mother’s ticked off with what we did and instead of talking to me about what she said, you tell him. Not that I have anything against him but I’m the one she’s ticked off at. I have a right to know honey.”
“I’ve always talked to him about everything Nick. I can’t shut him out now because you’re in my life.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking you to talk to the both of us. Would it hurt you to tell me what you tell him?”
“I guess not.” She placed the towel in her hand down on the counter and walked over to him. “I’m sorry. I guess I never realized-”
“How can you when I never told you?”
Kellie smiled. “Are we good then?”
Nick nodded. “We’re good.”
Kellie grinned and kissed him. “We just got through our first fight.” She smiled.
“But we’ve had-”
“First big fight.” She corrected herself.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:18 PM
Christmas had quickly approached them. Faster than they could imagine. They bought gifts as well as tickets back to Ohio. Kellie was scared and after all, why shouldn’t she be? She was going to meet his parent’s for the first time. After everything she heard, she had every right to be scared. Luckily for her, things would change once she arrived at his mother’s house.
Nick walked Kellie up to his mother’s house. He almost felt as if he had to prepare her, yet she was ready for whatever would come her way.
“Nervous?” He asked her.
“Why should I be?” She smiled. “I have no reason to be nervous.”
“Not even after everything you’ve heard?”
“Not even then.” She grinned. She gently squeezed his hand. “I know you’re nervous though. I promise you honey, there’s nothing to be nervous about. I promise.” She re[arse]ured.
Nick heard his mother coming to the door and looked over at his wife. Boy, did he want to believe her. Unfortunately, he couldn’t, not today.
The door opened in front of them and he saw his mother. She smiled as she looked at him and kept the smile on as she looked at Kellie. “Brought someone home?” She asked her son.
Nick nodded. He knew that she would ask him that firstly, before even saying hello. “Mom, this is Kellie. Kel, this is my mother, Cate.”
They both exchanged glances and said their hellos.
Cate invited them inside and one after the other, they went in.
Kellie looked around. She noticed how the walls were covered in pictures. Pictures of children were everywhere. She looked closely at one and laughed. “Smart brother you have there Nick.” She smiled.
“Huh?” He asked as he focused his attention of his wife.
“Burying you in the sand? Why didn’t I think of that with Michael?” She joked.
“Lucky for me, I escaped and ended up burying him. Notice how that one’s not on the wall.”
“Aww. Poor Nicky.” She giggled before gently kissing him. She kept on looking at the pictures. She couldn’t help but look at them. It was if each one told a story. With each picture she saw of Nick, she found out more about it. “I didn’t know that you-” She began as she pointed to a picture.
Nick nodded. “I did. Let’s leave it at that.”
Kellie laughed and heard a faint laughter from behind her.
“Cute pictures Kel?” Drew asked her from behind.
Kellie turned around and nodded. “Looks like I could have learned a lot from you Drew.” She smiled. “My brother put me through hell when I was little!” She laughed.
“It’s all in being a Lachey.”
“And a sneaky one at that!”
“No, no. Clever!” Drew corrected him.
Kellie laughed. “While you two figure this all out, I’ll go check in with your mother. See if she needs help.” She told them before walking towards the kitchen.
“So did you tell her yet?” Drew asked.
Nick sighed. “Not yet.”
“Well, at least I didn’t miss it.”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:20 PM
Kellie walked to the kitchen and gently knocked on the doorway wall.
Cate turned and looked up at her. “Oh, hi Kellie. Come on in.”
Kellie did as she was told and walked further into the large kitchen. “Do you need help?” She asked her.
“No. I pretty much have it all under control.”
“You sure?”
Cate nodded. “So how did you meet Nick anyway? Meet at work?”
Kellie shook her head no.
“Through friends?”
She shook her head no once more.
“Then how? No offense but he never really seems to have time for anything else.”
Kellie nodded. “Actually, we met on the street.” She began. “I’m a huge klutz and I slipped. Luckily Nick was there to umm-catch me from my fall. I guess.” She thought.
Cate nodded. “You two close?”
Kellie nodded. “You could say that.”
“Oh?” Cate smiled. She could tell, although she couldn’t see the two interact much, that they had something special going on. “How long?”
“Couple of weeks now.”
“Is it serious?”
Kellie slightly blushed but tried her hardest not to let his mother notice.
“So it is.” She concluded.
Kellie nodded.
“Well that’s good to hear.” She smiled. “He could use someone in his life. Might tear him away from that work of his.
“He does love it. He loves it a lot.” She told Cate.
She could tell, with every word spoken how Kellie really felt about her son. She could tell that there was more going on but didn’t feel as if she should worry. Somehow she had the instinct that things would work out and be all right in the end. “I suppose it doesn’t leave a lot of time for a relationship.”
“Actually, we have a lot of time in the end. I was taught and actually live by thinking that if you want something and really believe in it then you can make the time for whatever it may be.”
Cate smiled. She definitely liked her for her son. Definitely.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:22 PM
Nick wondered what had kept Kellie with Cate. He had a feeling as if his mother would be questioning Kellie at everything possible, similar to that of her mother. Not that he knew, but luckily, he was wrong. Yet again.
He noticed as both Kellie and Cate walked out of the kitchen, together, talking. He smiled at the sight of the two communicating and bonding.
“That looks weird.” Drew whispered over to him as they watched from afar.
“Tell me about it. I’m waiting for it to go right down the drain any second now.”
Drew saw the two laugh and exchange words and could tell that maybe things wouldn’t be as he predicted. “Guess not. Mom’s being pretty nice with her.” He told him.
Nick nodded. “Not like her at all.”
“Guess Kel already grew on her.”
“Guess so.” Nick joined in as he saw Kellie walking over to him.
“What are we talking about?” She asked as she kissed Nick’s cheek gently.
“Why don’t you tell me?” He asked her.
“Huh?” She suddenly became confused.
“She likes you?” He asked her.
Kellie nodded. “All parents do. Well, besides mine of course.” She joked. “Told you honey. There was nothing to be afraid of.”
Nick smiled and kissed her. “Told her all of it?”
“Well-no. Not quite.”
“I can only guess what part you left out.”
“I’m sorry?” She suggested.
“It’s better if we tell her together anyways.”
“Of course it is Nick.” She smiled. “At least she likes me. You two were getting me all nervous for nothing.”
“So you were nervous!”
“No, I wasn’t. Not today. Before, yes. Not today.” Kellie noticed his face. “It’s okay that you were. Promise.” She smiled as she whispered into his ear.
“So when should we tell her?”
“Why not now?”
Nick nodded and took her hand. “I suppose it’s as good a time as any.” He took her and they both approached his mother, together.
Cate looked up at them. “Something wrong?”
“No, not at all.” Kellie quickly responded.
“Well-” Nick started. “Just something we wanna say.”
“Okay. What is it?” She asked.
Kellie looked up at Nick. She saw how he hesitated and took the initiative to say it herself. “Well, we did something. Something quickly impulsive of us. Something that’s unlike what we would normally do.”
“Well what is it?” Cate asked.
“Well-we got married, the second day we saw one another.”
Cate nodded. “Already knew sweetie.”
“How?”
“Well for one, it’s pretty obvious. Secondly, there is a snitch in the family.”
Both Nick and Kellie quickly turned and looked at Drew. “Thanks.” He told him. “We kinda wanted to tell.”
“I believe that sneaky was the word you used to describe me?”
“Sneaky or not Drew. You’re day will come. Mark my words!”
Kellie looked at everyone and smiled. “Good Christmas we’re having!” She joked.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:25 PM
What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? Wrong. See that was the big problem with Kellie and Nick. They never really knew anything about one another. Soon they would but for some it could be too late.
Later in the year, Kellie found out something that she had never hoped to know about her husband. She was hurt and she knew that she always would be.
Earlier in the year life was perfect. Her new marriage to Nick was spectacular and she couldn’t ask for anything more. She couldn’t want anything else in life but to be with Nick. But as Nick went off to finish the second leg of the tour and Kellie started living married life alone, things had changed. Things had changed drastically.
By the time he returned, neither one of them were the same. It was November and Nick had become someone he knew inside that he wasn’t. Being away from his wife for so long, Nick began speaking with an old friend, well-old girlfriend, Jessica. The two rekindled what they once had despite Kellie who remained at home.
When Kellie found out, she quickly distanced herself from her own husband. From there on out their once perfect marriage wouldn’t ever be perfect again. They soon separated and Nick moved out leaving Kellie with his apartment. He had agreed to leave since she spent most of her time there anyway. Somewhere deep inside, Kellie thought that he’d come back. She knew what they had once had would be more than enough to bring him once. Unfortunately she was wrong and for months, the two remained separated.
It wouldn’t be until Drew’s birthday the next year that the two would talk to one another. It was a day that neither of them would be prepared for.
Kellie sighed as she walked towards the building. She was afraid of seeing Nick but more scared of seeing Nick with Jessica. She knew that if she did, she would have to act as if nothing bothered her. It was time for her to put on her façade. As she saw Lea from across the way, she walked towards her and then saw Nick walked over to her as well. She looked at him through the corner of her eye and saw Jessica on his arm. She stopped in her tracks and turned around. She couldn’t do it the way she had thought she could. She wouldn’t be able to. She wouldn’t be able to stay strong, as she had hoped.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:26 PM
“Kellie?” She heard someone call her from behind. She could tell who it was. It was Nick.
She sighed and then slowly turned back around. “Hi.” She put on a fake smile as she watched Jessica cling to Nick’s arm.
“I didn’t know you’d be here.” He told her.
“Well, I guess I could say the same for you.” She told him from a distance. She had no plans of going near him, if she didn’t need to. She didn’t want to draw herself back into him and then get let down, not again.
“And you are?” Jessica butted in to ask.
Kellie inwardly sighed. “My name’s Kellie. Nick and I used to know one another.”
Jessica nodded once it clicked in her head who she was. She clung onto Nick even more.
“You know, I can’t really stay for long. I have to run back to work anyway. I just came to stop by.”
“I didn’t realize that you and Drew-”
She cut him off before he had the chance to finish what he was about to say. “Why wouldn’t I Nick? Just because you and I ended, doesn’t mean the friendships I’ve made do.”
Nick sighed. He knew that she had shut him up. He knew she won that battle as she did almost ever during their relationship. Who knew that a relationship that was just budding only a year and half ago would already be over and finished with.
“Well, it was nice seeing you.” She told him. She simply looked at Jessica and then walked off over to Drew. “The birthday boy himself!” She smiled as he hugged him. “Some nice party you have yourself here Lachey.”
“I didn’t know you were even coming here.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well for starters Nick would be here. It isn’t as if you two really are-”
“Yes Drew, you told me that when we got married. I guess I was just a layover so to speak. I got used to it by now.” She handed him over the gift she brought. “Here, I didn’t come here to discuss Nick. It’s your day not the day to discuss my failed marriage.”
“Kel-”
“I have to go back to work. I sprung on my break. I gotta run back to the cell.” She joked. She kissed him quickly on his cheek. “Happy birthday. Remember, have fun!” She told him before she turned to leave.
“Sure you can’t stay?” He asked her.
Kellie nodded as she turned around. “If I could, I don’t really think I could. Get me?”
Drew nodded, as he understood her. “I get you.”
“Happy birthday.” She smiled before leaving the party. Although it was nothing more than 15 minutes, it was the worst 15 minutes in her entire life. Seeing Matt would be easier. She never realized the effect that Nick had on her until she saw him once again. No matter how she looked at it, she definitely needed him in her life. She just wished that he could realize it now before it was too late.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:28 PM
Kellie thought that once her marriage with Nick had ended her life would go back to the way it once was. She’d go back to work and Nick would go back to being Nick. The way their lives were now, they wouldn’t have any contact with one another. The only memory she really had of Nick were the ones in her heart, that and her apartment. Once they divorced, Nick let her stay in the apartment and he had been the one to move out. It would be torture for her living there. Everywhere she looked, she saw Nick. She could see him standing by the opened fridge deciding on what to eat. She could see him on the couch watching a game or lying on the bed or in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Yep, Kellie missed him like crazy.
She heard the phone ring and still hadn’t changed the recording. She heard Nick’s voice come on and smiled. She wouldn’t change it, no matter what.
“Hey Kel, it’s me.” He paused. “Call me when you get this. I thought maybe we could get together, now that you don’t have Nick on your tail anymore.”
Kellie walked over to the phone and placed her hand on top of the set. She had went to pick it up but then quickly stopped and yanked her hand back.
“I haven’t changed the number so you know where to reach me. I miss you.” He spoke. He then chuckled. “I can’t believe that I just said that to your machine. Well, just call me back. Alright?” He sighed. “Sorry I missed you. Bye.”
Kellie looked at the phone and heard as he hung up. She had wondered why he had called her. It wasn’t like Matt to bring up the past. It wasn’t like him at all. It wasn’t like him to miss the past. It wasn’t like her either and suddenly she had the urge to call him. She reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed the familiar numbers. She took a deep breath in when she heard the phone ring.
“Hello?” He answered.
Kellie exhaled and opened her mouth. Nothing came out.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
“M-Matt?” She asked finally.
“Kellie? I just called you.” He told her.
“Yeah, I was-in the shower.” She finished. I heard the phone ring but kinda could run for it.” She chuckled as she lied.
“So you’re just wearing a towel?” Matt asked her.
She looked at her bulky sweater and laughed. “Umm, not quite. Sorry.”
He smiled as he heard her laugh. He missed hearing that distinct laugh. “I’m sorry to hear about your marriage.” He told her. “Well, your divorce.”
“Let me guess, my mother told you?”
“No, your father.”
“They’ve been telling everyone now haven’t they.” She sighed. “They never even liked him.” She finished.
“I didn’t mean to bring up a sore issue. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s been a long time since it happened. I’ve moved on.” She told him. Another lie. It was lie after lie and Matt bought each and every one.
“You have?” He smiled. Suddenly he had hope. Since they had broken up, Matt had done nothing in life. Yes, he went on after they graduating and went on to hold a job at a major law firm in Los Angeles.
“Well, I’ve tried.” She admitted.
“Succeeded?”
“No, not really.” She confessed.
Matt nodded and then took the next step. “Kel, do you think that maybe one day we could-”
Kellie inwardly sighed. “Sure. We could. It’ll be nice seeing one another after so long.”
“Friday at 7? In front of Criscardi’s?” He asked.
“I’ll see you there.” She told him before ending the conversation and hanging up. In a quick flash, she saw the future and didn’t like what had seen. There was no Nick but she did see her parents happy. Nonetheless, even if it upset them, she had to make herself happy first. She had to find a way to reel Nick back. She wasn’t about to loose him. She wasn’t about to give up on them that easily.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:36 PM
Kellie walked down her block, her heavy briefcase in hand. As she walked from the subway to the apartment she noticed a guy who looked extremely familiar to her. He looked her way and she smiled but unfortunately not much happened after that. As she kept on her way, she realized whom she had seen, or thought she seen. She kept on walking and all the way back to her apartment, Nick was with her. She could feel his hand on top of hers as she held onto the wood railing walking up the stairs. She could feel his presence the moment she walked into the apartment’s doorway. There was no way to escape Nick as long as she had lived there and remained in love with him.
She saw her machine beeping from afar. As she walked over to the machine, she took off her jacket and threw it atop her sofa. She played her messages and took off her shoes as she listened to them. Typical things, one from her mother, her brother, nothing unusual.
But now it was time to quickly get ready for her date with Matt. She wasn’t too keen on getting back out there in the dating world but knew she had to eventually.
As she changed, she saw a picture of both her and Nick at his parent’s house for Christmas. They used to be happy. Used to be. Now they were divorced. Officially. Divorced.
She took the picture and faced it down on the dresser. She couldn’t look at herself, not with him.
Kellie slipped into a little black dress and slipped her feet into these cute strappy sandals. She was ready. She was scared but she was ready nonetheless. She heard the doorbell and sighed. As she walked over to let Matt in, she walked slower and slower. She was almost too nervous to go through with it. But she would.
She pressed the buzzer and beeped him in. She opened up her door and saw Matt heading up the steps.
“Hi.” She smiled.
“Kel.” He said once he saw her. She had changed from the person he once lived with and fell in love with.
She walked over to him and hugged him once he reached the top of the stairs. “It’s been a long time. A real long time.”
Matt nodded and watched as she walked back into her apartment. “I guess you could say that.”
“Let me just get a jacket or something and then we can go.” She told him before heading off into her bedroom. She picked up a black jacket and slipped into it. It looked perfect with the dress. She grabbed her small purse and threw her cell phone in there as well as a few other necessities before heading back out to Matt. “Shall we go?” She asked, a smile on her face.
He nodded and took her hand. “We shall.”
Kellie closed the door on her way out and didn’t look back. Now it was up to Matt to make her forget about Nick. He definitely had a huge task ahead of him.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:41 PM
As the two walked towards the restaurant, Kellie leaned on Matt as she laughed and spoke. For Matt, it was as if he were right back in their relationship. It was something he had missed for so long. He liked having the option and chance of having that again with her. It wasn’t until they reached the restaurant that her smile changed into a frown, almost.
Kellie gasped and grabbed her breath. She stared blankly at the person in front of her.
Matt looked at her and then in the direction of her eyes and realized who it was. “Wanna go?” He asked her kindly.
Kellie shook her head no. “I’m a big girl. I can handle this.” She re[arse]ured herself.
There stood Nick. He was still tall and still handsome as ever. He was the same man, but with a different girl?
“That’s not-” Matt began but she cut him off.
“No. It isn’t.” She looked puzzled. She had tried her hardest not to let it affect her or for Matt to notice that it was. She didn’t want him to think that she hadn’t gotten over her ex, even though she hadn’t.
“Oh.” That’s all he could say. It was one of those times where no matter what you tried to say, you weren’t saying anything important or interesting, no matter what.
Kellie nodded. She couldn’t say anything either. She simply stared.
Nick kept on speaking with the woman he was with before he took his eyes off of her and looked around. He looked to his left and saw nothing that grabbed his attention. He quickly stared to the right, not expecting anything there either. As he turned to look back at the woman before him, he quickly turned back to stare at who he recognized. He stared at her long enough for her to realize he was looking at her.
Kellie looked down at the floor and pretended to be enamored with her shoes. She spoke random and pointless things about the strappy sandals on her feet. She even sighed when she heard someone walking toward her. She kept on trying to carry a conversation about her shoes with Matt.
“Kel-” Nick began as he approached her.
Kellie looked up at him and took a step closer to Matt as she did so. “Hi Nick.” She simply said. She wasn’t planning on saying anything else.
Nick took note of her actions with Matt and slowly nodded. “Funny that we’d run into one another like this.”
“It is?” She asked, slightly confused.
“Guess not then.”
Kellie thought about it and then chuckled. “At least I’m not busting my butt this time.” She joked. A smile appropriately positioned across her cherry lips.
Nick laughed along. “I don’t think I’d have to pick you up even if you were.” He spoke, insinuating Matt, who was next to her.
Matt simply was confused. He didn’t understand what she had meant by it.
“Oh! Nick, this is Matt. Matt, this is Nick.” She spoke with a sigh at the end.
Nick nodded. He knew who Matt was just like Matt knew who Nick was. “I should go.” Nick spoke.
Kellie nodded. The awkwardness had settled in at high speed. She couldn’t speak to Nick the way she once used to anymore. “Well, it was nice to see you.” She acted polite.
Nick nodded with a smile. “You know, if you ever wanna get together or something-you know the number. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
Kellie nodded as Matt tugged on her arm to get her to head inside the restaurant as opposed to admiring the outside. Kellie simply looked in front of her and kept on walking by. She didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t say anything else. She was too hooked on the idea of getting together with Nick again to do or say anything else.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:44 PM
Normal guys would have been bothered by what had happened on their first official date. Not many guys would understand what had just happened. Not many guys would have actually stayed and watched as their date shared a conversation with their ex, let alone their ex-husband. But as quickly as they got back together, they rushed things continuously. They rushed back into one another’s life and ended their long time separation.
But at the same time that Matt had walked back into Kellie’s life, so did Nick. Both she and Nick spoke often on the phone. They even had agreed to see one another at parties and even in private. They tried to make their divorce and marriage into a friendship. Hopefully, a long lasting friendship. How long the friendship would remain active was questionable though.
Nick couldn’t happily settle for what they had though. Nick had an alternative motive though. His plan was to win Kellie back. To win her back from Matt. And after knowing what they had together, he knew asking her to leave their past behind would be difficult. Matt never broke her heart. Nick did. Matt never cheated on her. Nick did. So many negatives against him yet Nick believed he could win her back had he put his mind to it.
A few months had past since they became friends and Nick and Kellie remained extremely close. She’d even drop Matt, at times, to be with Nick. She saw it as friendship and everyone else saw it differently. They saw the romance of it all. Kellie couldn’t. She had placed romance and Nick in two separate categories in her mind and her heart. They would never combine as long as she was with Matt. And she knew. She knew that somehow her relationship with Matt was bound to work. She was committed. Perhaps more committed now than before.
Together, both her friends and Matt combined threw her a surprise birthday party.
Kellie was definitely, shocked, to say the least.
The party went off with a bang. Numerous people showed up, including Nick. Her parent’s had even made an appearance. But there was a big announcement that would catch the attention of everyone there, especially Nick. Yeah, an engagement can do that to people.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:45 PM
Kellie walked into her apartment ready to spend a quiet night with Matt. Just the two of them. That’s how she loved to spend her time. She was never big on parties or special work functions. She always found a way out of them. She always could make up some excuse to leave the party early, headache or not. Not this time. When she saw all of her friends, even Nick there, she knew she was in for something other than a quiet night with Matt.
As everyone screamed happy birthday at her and greeted her, Kellie’s eyes could only focus on one person, Nick. She made her way over to him since he hadn’t tried to get her. She tapped his shoulder and he turned to face her.
“Kel! Happy Birthday.” He smiled before hugging her tightly.
Kellie smiled and felt a comfort within Nick’s arms. “He invited you?” She asked him.
Nick nodded. “Shocked?”
“A little.” She chuckled. She pulled away, slowly, from Nick’s embrace.
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
Kellie laughed. “Is this a happening party? I should have been informed. I could have put on my party dress.” She joked.
“You look fine.” He convinced her.
“Sure?” She asked.
Nick nodded and kissed her forehead. “Just beautiful Kel.”
Matt noticed the interaction between her and Nick and knew that even though she acted the way she did with Nick, she was happy with him. He was positive.
As the night progressed, the party stayed strong. Matt had everything planned out perfectly. Including what would be the first gift she had opened.
Once the cake was lit and everyone had sang to her, Kellie reached for the first present. A medium box that Matt had handed to her. She unwrapped it and then looked through the tons of tissue paper to find a smaller bo0x. She looked confused but then opened that one to find an even smaller box. As she opened it, she gasped when she saw what had been in there. She looked up at him, her mouth wide open.
From afar, Nick tried to look at what he had given her but had no luck to see what it was.
Matt had walked up to her and took the box. “What do you think?”
Kellie remained stunned. “I think yes.” She smiled.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:46 PM
As the party slowly died down and Matt was taken away by some of his friends, Kellie quietly stepped outside. As she walked down the stairs and opened the door, she saw Nick sitting on the top step.
“Hey stranger.” She spoke as she closed the door behind her.
“Hey bride-to-be.” He told her.
Kellie sighed. “Is this seat taken?” She asked him before sitting down.
“Now it is.” He chuckled as he took a sip of his beer.
Kellie felt the cold and rubbed her arms with her hands. “Chilly.” She simply said.
Nick took her in his arms and wrapped them around her. “Better?”
Kellie nodded and smiled. “Thanks.”
Nick knew what he had been meaning to ask her for some time now. “So umm-gonna go through with it?” He asked her.
She knew what he had meant. She slowly nodded as she looked at the ring. “Looks like it.”
“Really love him?”
Kellie took a small pause and thought about it. “I think I do. I knew I did at one point in my life. I mean, he was my first love Nick. A part of me would always love him, no matter what. We were together for years, literally.”
“And then you met me…” He interjected.
“Hey now. That was a good thing. If I remember correctly, we weren’t unhappy together.” She laughed.
He saw her smile and heard her infectious laugh and couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. There was something about her. That no matter what happened; you’d always love her. She would always be that perfect woman you could imagine yourself with at the end of a long and hard day. “Well he’s lucky to have you Kel. Real lucky.”
Kellie smiled. “Well, you had me too so you were a lucky guy too.” She reminded him.
Nick nodded. “Had to remind me?”
“Was it that bad?” She asked as she tried to remember their marriage.
“No!” He told her. “Not at all. I just-” He stopped.
“You just what?”
“I knew I was lucky.” He told her. “That’s why I didn’t wanna be reminded.” He went on as he kept his arms around her.
Kellie smiled as she heard the music from upstairs.
“Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially missing you.”
As she listened to the music, she held on tighter to Nick. It was if although he was so close to her, he was still so far away. Although they had remained friends and could talk the way they used to, they still weren’t together. It hurt the both of them and somehow they would have to find a way to change it.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:47 PM
As the night dwindled down and the guests began to leave, Kellie had slowly made her way back upstairs.
“Where were you?” Matt asked her as he continued the clean up process.
“Just talking with Nick downstairs.”
“So is he gonna give you away then?” He joked. “I’ve never seen exes as close as you two are.”
Kellie nodded. “I guess you could say we’re unique.” She smiled at him. She walked over to him and took the trash bag out of his hand. She set it down on the floor and kissed him.
“It’s about time you and I get married.” Matt whispered to her.
Kellie smiled and agreed. “After so many years, it’s the best thing to do.”
“I really missed you Kel while you were with him. You know that.”
Kellie nodded. She knew how much it had hurt him but she had to follow her heart then and now, she was hurting Nick by doing the same. He had never told her what he had really wanted but she knew him well enough to know that he had wanted her back.
Unfortunately, things had never gone the way that they had wanted. She had never intended on meeting Nick, getting married, leaving Matt, or even getting back with him. Her life was one that was too unpredictable. She wanted a change. Deep inside of her, she wished that Nick had never left. Then again, what woman wanted to be left by their husband? What woman wanted to have to start over again when she was actually happy in life?
Matt noticed as she went off into a daze as she remained in his arms. “You okay?”
Kellie nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She told him.
Matt kissed her nose and smiled. “Call me crazy but shouldn’t we do something now?” He asked her.
“And leave this mess here? You know I can’t stand that.” She told him.
“Not that!” He laughed.
“Oopsie.” She giggled. “Then what were you talking about?” She asked him, clueless.
Matt looked around. He could see Nick everywhere in the apartment, even if she had decorated once the two had married. “I mean, if we’re getting married…” He trailed off.
“If we’re getting married, what?” She asked him. She was still clueless as to what he had meant. “Tell me.”
“Leave this place behind?” He suggested to her.
“You mean move?” She asked him, as she finally understood what he had meant.
Matt nodded. “Move into a place of our own.”
Kellie inhaled and exhaled. For so long, she had adapted to this small apartment that she had called home. It was her baby, mainly since for a large part of her tenure there, she had been alone. She had Nick, then she had herself, then more time with herself before Matt trotted back into her world. How could she give up the place that she had shared so much pain with?
“You clearly don’t want to.” He spoke softly.
“I do. It’s just going to be hard.”
“Leaving the past here?” He asked her. He had meant Nick. Leaving Nick and the memories of their short marriage. That’s what he had meant.
Kellie sighed. “More than just Nick.” She clearly knew Matt too well. Too well to know what he had really meant. “It’s just an emotional place for me. I don’t want to leave it. Plus, I made Nick leave here. For what? To leave it myself when happiness struck?”
“It would be stupid to keep it.”
“It would be stupid of me and insensitive of me to ask you to move in here, so yes, I want to keep it.”
“In case of what Kellie? Things don’t work out? So you can run back into your womb of solitude and self-loathing?” He asked with distain in his voice. “If that’s how it’s gonna be, I should pull out before you get the chance to.”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:48 PM
She couldn’t take it. She knew that her words had hurt him but she simply couldn’t move on with her life as easy as he had wanted her to. She couldn’t pack up and leave. She couldn’t pick up her grandmother’s trunk and leave quietly. She couldn’t take it back down the stairs without remembering the experience she had while bringing it into the apartment. She couldn’t leave there without thinking of Nick as she closed the door. She never could.
Her problem wasn’t the apartment. It wasn’t the memories. Well it was, but it wasn’t. It was more so the presence of a familiar face, Nick. Leaving the apartment would mean leaving Nick. She knew that once she had married again, she wouldn’t be able to have the closeness with Nick that she currently had. She knew that the late night phone calls would end. The talking, the hugging and the cuddling. She had to [arse]imilate to being a wife to someone else. Someone other than Nick. That would be her hardest task yet.
Kellie stood outside her building and shivered. Where was Nick now to keep her warm? Where was he? Where was he to ease her mind? Where was he for her to lean on? She had realized now how dependent she was to him. She needed him for everything. She needed him the way she did air. She simply needed him as a constant in her life. She wasn’t ready to get rid of him easily. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t let go. She couldn’t give up on the one man that she still believed in.
She needed time to think. Time to clear her head. She walked down the stairs leading to her building and headed down the block. She kept walking, turned a corner here and there. Had her luck struck her, she stood in front of Nick’s apartment. She looked up and saw the faint light coming from what looked like his living room, but she wasn’t sure. She placed her left foot on the first step and debated as to whether or not go up. She twiddled her fingers and then decided not to go up. She stepped back down and then went to cross the street. Not looking, she stepped into the street and a car immediately honked at her, loudly.
This brought Nick to wonder what was happening. It wasn’t like people to honk loudly at that time of night. He stood up from his comfortable couch and trekked over to his window. He peaked out and saw Kellie standing there in the street. He pulled up the window and stuck his head out. “Kel!” He screamed in a whisper.
Kellie turned back and looked up. “Hi.” She smiled as she saw him. She hadn’t meant on actually seeing him but was happy that she did, again.
“What are you doing here?”
“Roaming?” She chuckled.
“Come on up.” He smiled as he went to unlock the door for her and buzz her in.
As she walked up the stairs, she wondered and wondered. The more she thought about it, the reality of her marrying Matt dwindled in her mind.
And so with Nick’s words, Kellie followed.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:49 PM
Kellie walked up the steps into Nick’s apartment as she heard the buzzer. She was slightly nervous knowing that she would soon be alone with the man that was once her husband. She was nervous, but not in a bad way. Simply anxious, almost, as to what would happen. It was clear to both one another that the two still had feelings for the other.
Nick wished that she could forgive him enough to go back with him. Kellie wished that Nick was what she really needed and not so much wanted. But Matt and her past would always be there to stop her.
She walked up onto his floor and saw his door slightly opened. She smiled and walked over to his apartment and quietly walked in. “Hello? Nick?” She called out loud. He was nowhere to be found.
Nick peaked out from his bedroom. “I’m in here.”
Kellie closed the door and locked it behind her before heading off to Nick. She stood in the doorway of his bedroom and shook her head disappointingly. “Can’t make the bed for the life of you.” She joked with him before going to do so herself. She undid the horrible job that he had finished and began making up his sheets.
“Are you my cleaning lady?” Nick joked with her as he looked through his drawers to find a top to put on.
“Wanna find some pants first?” She joked back. “I can-umm-see happy land.” She chuckled.
“Never bothered you before.” Nick spoke as he slightly blushed.
Kellie laughed. “But see now we’re not married. I guess you could say that happy land is off limits now.”
Nick pouted. He didn’t like hearing that.
“Although-” She begun. “Happy land is looking quite big tonight.”
Nick grinned. “Is this the part where I thank you or sleep with you?” He asked, jokingly.
“I wouldn’t mind. Either or.” She grinned before turning back to his bed and finishing what she had started.
Nick could tell that she was joking but deep inside wish that she weren’t. Seemed as if the more he thought about her, the more happy land rose to the occasion that unfortunately wouldn’t happen.
Kellie looked back up and looked at him as she placed the pillows back on his bed. “I’m done.” She walked over to him as he slipped on into some sweats. “Pants look good on you too.” She smiled.
“I just took a shower Kel. What did you expect of me? A tuxedo?” He asked her.
“No, not a tux. Although, do you have one?” She asked excitedly.
“Why?”
“Might need it for my wedding.” She went on.
“Still going through with it?”
“What could have possibly changed in such a short amount of time?” She asked him while she thought about what she had asked him. She realized that almost everything had changed in such a short amount of time.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:50 PM
Nick sighed and decided to let the subject drop. He knew that if she wanted to discuss it, that she would bring it up herself.
“So were you just in the neighborhood?” He asked.
Kellie shrugged. “I ended up here. I left after Matt and I had a disagreement-”
“You two had a fight?”
“Umm-disagreement.”
“Kel-”
“So what if we fought? So what if we don’t always see eye to eye? That’s okay. Right? I mean, not all couples have to agree.” She tried to convince herself.
Nick nodded. “It’s actually almost healthy for couples to disagree and argue over certain topics.”
“It is?”
Nick nodded and wanted to mentally beat himself up for what he had just said. He wanted her back, not fall even more in love with Matt than she already was.
Kellie nodded along. “Maybe we aren’t as doomed as I thought.”
“Doomed? You really thought the two of you were doomed? After how many years? Now you’re doomed?” He asked, almost baffled by what she had said.
“I mean, we’re just not the people we once were. Yes, we work but I mean, hell, I thought you and I worked too. We’re divorced. At least we’re still close. I mean, not all divorced couples actually remain on a talking basis. I’m happy we have. I’m really happy we have.” She smiled.
“I’m happy we have too.”
“I just-I’m not sure I could handle another divorce. Especially not to Matt. I’ve known him too long. I couldn’t get married and then when it doesn’t work, then I get yet another divorce. I don’t want to do that to him or to me.”
“It’s your choice in the end, isn’t it?” He asked her as he walked out of his bedroom and down his small hallway.
Kellie nodded. “One of those ‘it’s your life’ responses.”
“It is Kel. It is your life. You can’t complain on that one.”
“How’d it get complicated?”
“You said yes.” He responded. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. “Why’d you do that anyway?”
“Say yes?”
Nick nodded and waited for his answer.
“How would it have looked if I said no?” She asked him politely. “It would have embarr[arse]ed him in front of everyone. I couldn’t do that to him. Plus, a part of me doesn’t think this is too bad of a move.”
“What if it is Kel? What if you’re making the biggest mistake of your life?”
“Is that what you think of this? Is that how you see Matt and I? A big mistake?”
Nick sighed. She was taking things the wrong way, even if they were to his benefit. “Kel-” He sighed. “I mean, couples don’t fight the moment they get engaged.”
“Who am I kidding? It is a mistake, no matter how I see it. I can’t be happy with him the way I want to be. Or the way I should be.”
“Who can you be happy with then? Who should you be?” He asked, hoping the answer would be himself.
Kellie shrugged. “If you don’t know, how can I?”
“Why should I be the one to know?”
“Nick, you know me inside and out. If you don’t know, how can I?”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:51 PM
Nick sighed. He remembered when they had married, how attached her parents were to the idea of her and Matt, not her and Nick. At first, they couldn’t understand why Kellie would do such a stupid stunt and marry Nick. Even when they had announced their divorce, her parents still hadn’t taken a liking to Nick. They still felt as if through it all Matt was whom she was destined to be with. Her parents’ outlook on her love life had affected hers. She had actually begun to see Matt and now she was engaged to him. It was times like this when Kellie could only wonder what had happened to her and her life.
Kellie walked over to Nick and hugged him, bare chest and all. She smiled as he embraced her the way she did him.
“Too bad we’re not home.” He spoke, not realizing he was speaking out loud.
Kellie looked up at him, still in his arms. “Home?” She smiled.
Nick realized what he had said and looked down at her. “I umm-”
“Still see it as that?” She asked him.
Nick stuttered and tried to think of something to say to him. “Umm-”
“It’s okay if you do.” She finally told him. “I can’t move because of it. That sounds so juvenile. It sounds so babyish. I simply can’t leave it.”
“Memories?”
Kellie nodded. “Mainly us. I guess I hold onto the past. Maybe a little too much.”
“It’s okay to do so. I do it too Kel.”
“Matt doesn’t. He can’t wait for me to let go of that little apartment. He never understood why I stayed there.”
“Where else were you supposed to go to?” Nick asked her. “It would have been wrong to kick you out and make you move again.”
“He doesn’t understand that concept. He sees where it was fair but never wanted me to stay there. Then again, this is the man who had a bet to see how long our marriage would last.”
“And he won.” Nick reminded her. He remembered having a conversation about a bet like this.
“Sometimes I don’t know what to believe. One minute he’s all for my happiness and the next he’s trying to keep me back. I told him about my promotion and he’s trying to get me to turn it down since it’ll mean more hours out of me at work.” She sighed. “I wanna do it. I love my job. More than anything. I want to keep it. I want to do well. I want to prove my parents wrong when they said I wouldn’t amount to anything but someone’s wife. So far, all I have is the someone’s wife part.” She felt so discouraged.
“Baby, you’re going to prove everyone wrong. You’re going to be amazing. I promise you. No matter what you do. You’ll rock at it.” He smiled at her. He always brought her up when she was down. Normal husbands wouldn’t feel guilty about cheating on their spouse but Nick did. He couldn’t bring himself to face what he had done to Kellie. Nick had morals. Kellie knew that. She wished that Matt had some too. He wasn’t like Nick at all. He had no similarities to him. She loved Nick’s personality. He was giving, loving and amazing, inside and out. Matt was nice when he wanted to be, he didn’t care that much about what Kellie did as long as he could take care of the two of them. His mind was always elsewhere and Kellie stuck with it. Maybe that was what was keeping her back from committing once and for all to Matt. Kellie finally figured out her problem. Matt wasn’t Nick.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:52 PM
“You okay down there?” Nick asked lovingly towards her. He knew that she had a lot on her mind and wished he could ease her troubles, just a little bit.
Kellie nodded and looked up at him as she let go of his embrace and moved away, slightly. “Perfectly fine.”
Nick could tell she was lying but didn’t bother to question it.
“Nick?” She began. “What if-what if we gave up to fast?” She finally asked.
“Gave up to fast? On what?”
“Us.” She finally finished.
Nick was slightly taken aback by what she had said. “Call me crazy but what did we give up fast at?” He asked. It was final when he left her for Jessica, not so much because he wanted it because he couldn’t string Kellie along.
“Our marriage Nick.”
“And what should we have done? Stay married while I was with someone else?” He asked her. Suddenly, even though what she was saying was in his favor, he wasn’t agreeing with it.
Kellie shrugged. “We shouldn’t have given up.”
“We couldn’t have stuck together.”
“I really wish that we could have. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage or the chance to say it again. But I wish we could have. I wish we still could. Honestly, I’ve never found anyone who I’ve bonded with and connected with the way that I have with you.”
Nick was in pure silence. He had no clue what to say or do. He stood there and took her words in.
“Still, years later, we’re still here. We’re still in some relationship and I couldn’t be sadder. You’d think I’d be happy but I’m not. I said I’d marry someone who I’m not too sure I’m in love with anymore. I know I love him but I don’t know if it’s the way I feel for my brother kind of love or the love that you and I shared. The truth is that love, it’s still there. And I know I can’t love someone else while still loving you. And that’s been the hardest thing for me to admit to myself.”
“What are you saying Kellie?” He asked her as he tried to make sense of everything he had heard. Was it true? Did she love him? Did she not want Matt anymore? Was Nick suddenly back in the running for her heart? Or had he already had it?
“I’m saying a hell of a lot. I think I even better shut up soon before I say too much.” She paused to collect her thoughts one last time. “I’m saying that I’m still in love with you. I’m saying that I don’t want to let you go. I’m saying that I want a hell of a lot more than a friendship. I wanna be able to think of that apartment as home again, in the sense that we both know it. I want to wake up next to you again. I just-I wanna be us again. Ya know?” She asked, hoping that he indeed “knew.”
Nick bit his bottom lip and exhaled. It was all big news to him. Not in a million years has he ever expected Kellie to love him the way he still loved her. He never imagined that his dream would ever come true. He never thought she’d utter words like that to him ever again.
He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t come out and tell her that he loved her to. Even if he could, he still couldn’t. His vocal chords weren’t working properly all of a sudden. He was on his own. In a quick move, he took a lead forward and kissed her p[arse]ionately. The way a woman should be kissed.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:53 PM
Kellie was taken aback by this. She opened her eyes and looked at him as he kissed her. It was really happening. She was finally kissing him again. She was finally feeling his lips upon hers, his touch upon her skin. She missed it and suddenly, it was all back. She could do it all once again. She was living in a dream.
As they tore apart slightly, her eyes remained opened as she looked at him in awe. She was shocked but in the most amazing way. “Why haven’t we done that ages ago?” She asked him.
Nick grinned. “That fiancé of yours pretty much held me back.”
Kellie’s smile became a frown at the mention of Matt. She had forgotten him in that one amazing, exhilarating moment. She wished he wasn’t even in the picture. She ran her left hand through her hair and yelped when her hair got stuck in her ring. When she finally unhooked herself, she looked at the diamond and sighed. It was a perfect cut. A perfect engagement ring. He had listened after all of these years. He picked out a ring with thought and love and she was already hurting him.
He noticed her face and knew. “I said something wrong?” He asked her but realized he hadn’t really said much. “Did something wrong?”
She had wanted to cry right in front of him and let all of her guard down. She wanted to cry and cry and suddenly she couldn’t cry in front of him anymore. He wasn’t her best friend; he was the man she was in love with. He was the man who, had it not been for Matt, she would be with.
Nick could tell. Something was wrong with her. Something was wrong with her, horribly. She wouldn’t speak. She simply had this same look on her face and he had never seen it before. He was worried, almost. He knew if something were drastically wrong that she would tell him.
Yet, something was drastically wrong and she wasn’t speaking. She wasn’t saying anything at all. Not even stupid, useless conversation.
Nick could tell, that one kiss, although pure heaven, had ruined so much. He, himself, had wanted to run away. He had wanted to be alone, leave Kellie but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He walked out the hallway and into the kitchen. As he reached for a beer to drink, he kept thinking. He couldn’t stop and simply needed to ask her. “What happened between five minutes and now?” He finally called out. As he made his way back into the edge of his hallway, he saw Kellie leaning against his wall. “What happened Kel?”
“You kissed me. That’s what happened.” She said. It was so bland. The statement was almost covered in hatred and anger than in love. It wasn’t one of those teenager like sayings. It was cold and dark.
As hard as it was, it hit Nick even harder. Even colder. It hit him like ice. He said nothing and slipped back into his kitchen. He picked up his beer and took a sit. Good old Miller Lite. Soothing Miller Lite-normally. Not tonight. Not even a beer could help Nick. He had to figure this out on his own. Alcohol need not apply.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:54 PM
He heard as his front door slammed shut and he placed his bottle on the counter top. As he rushed into the hallway, he saw that Kellie had gone. He rushed to his door, opened it and saw as she ran down the stairs. “Kellie!” Except, she didn’t stop.
He rushed to his bedroom, threw on any shirt, sneakers, quickly and then rushed outside. He looked up the block and then down the block. He saw her. She had tried to walk quickly but in heels, never could. “Kellie!” He called out again.
She could hear him behind her and tried her hardest to pick up the pace.
Nick had no intentions of losing her this time. There was something wrong and not only did he want to know what, but he wanted to fix it for her. He wanted to fix them, not only her. He prayed that she would let him. “Kellie! Wait up!”
The more she heard him, the more she gave in and the tears seeped out. Nonetheless, she kept walking and acted as if she hadn’t heard him.
Nick finally reached up to her and grabbed her arm to turn her around.
As she spun around, she faced the ground, her hair hitting her in the face.
Nick had moved in and pushed it out of her face when he had seen her tears. “Kellie-”
“Just stop it Nick! Just let me go home. Pease?” She nearly begged and pleaded with him.
He wouldn’t have it though. He wouldn’t let go of her arm. “You aren’t going home. Not tonight.”
“Why?” She finally looked him in the eye. “So we can have one amazing night? I can wake up tomorrow with a pounding headache? I can cry tomorrow away? So I can realize that everything I told you was a mistake? I’d rather go to bed knowing I made this mistake already instead of going to bed with the mistake.” She told him until she realized what she had said.
“With the mistake? So is that how you see me?” He asked her. “One minute I’m someone you want and the next I’m a mistake that you did?” He couldn’t put himself in that position again. He went to turn and now Kellie was grabbing him.
“Nick! I didn’t mean it that way. I mean you and I-what we’d do. That’ll be the-that’s not coming out right either. Nothing is.” She finally told him. “I just don’t want to make anymore mistakes. I’ve made so many.” She gave in.
“I’ve never seen you or what we’ve had, our relationship as a mistake. Never. Now everything that could be a mistake to you. How do you want me to take that?”
“I don’t mean it like that!” She cried. “I just can’t make a mistake and hurt someone else who is waiting for me. There’s a guy out there and he loves me. I can’t hurt him.”
“And what about me? Us? I mean, I’m a guy who loves you too, ya know? Plan on doing the same to me?”
“Come on Nick! Don’t put me in that position.”
“No, I will. Because one minute you’re telling me that you love me and just when I go to do something about it you change. You change completely. Like I have the plague and you need to get away from me.”
“I do love you. I do.” She cried. “I really do. You have no damn idea.”
“You have a horrible way of showing it Kel.”
“Matt’s not waiting for me. You are. You have been. I can’t start something here before I finish what’s there.”
“You know, this isn’t how I imagined tonight to turn out. When we both realized and admitted how we felt, I didn’t think we’d be fighting about it in the middle of the street.”
“Candles and rose petals?”
“Just no fighting over it. I thought we would be happy. Happy like we’ve never imagined. Happy, upstairs, in my apartment, together. Cuddling, happy. Kissing, happy. Not fighting. You’re not supposed to go back to Matt at all. It isn’t how it’s supposed to go. At all.”
“Well, if I had my way Nick, we wouldn’t have to do this. We wouldn’t be fighting about getting back together because we never would even separated and divorced.” She turned around and went back to walking home, back to Matt. She quickly turned back and faced Nick. “But I can’t get my way Nick. And you can’t get yours. And you have no idea how much I wished that I could get my way.”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:55 PM
And so ended Kellie’s birthday. She went home mad, woke up the next day mad and to top it off she was engaged to someone she didn’t love as much as Nick. She wished that she could have changed so much but never could. She woke up, letting Matt sleep. The last thing she wanted was to wake him. She didn’t want to wake him and not even speak to him. She simply wanted to ignore him. Ignore him she did. She left her apartment and walked her way to the train station. Sipping her latte from Starbuck’s, she reached for her token and dropped it through its slot. As she waited for her train, she eyed the magazine of a woman near her. How to land a man. Five easy steps! She sighed. Seemed as if everywhere she looked, something about love. As she took another sip of her latte, she looked at her diamond on her finger. She knew that she shouldn’t be wearing it. But to not wear it would be wrong as well. She left it on, reluctantly. But as she neared her stop, she knew that her co-workers would see. They’d ask. They’d want to know. Either it was a fake diamond she bought on sale at Target or she told them the truth. No one could know the truth. And so she took it off of her finger, took off her chain and slipped it on there. Placing the chain back on her neck she then stepped off the train.
The day hadn’t begun and already it was a long day. She already wanted to go back home. She already wanted to crawl back under her covers.
But as she walked into her building, and then up to her floor, everything changed. She became happy, a fake happy. For once, she didn’t want to go to work. She wanted-so much more. Something, completely different. She walked over to her office and her true colors came out. As she stepped into her quiet, secluded office, the sadness poured back in. She was sad. Kellie was extremely sad, at herself. She took of her jacket and through it on a spare chair. She wasn’t in the mood for anything. She made her way over to her desk and saw a vase with flowers. She semi-smiled. She already knew whom they were from. When Matt was in love, he really showed in. And so the showing began, so to speak.
Kellie reached over and reached for the card. She took it out of the envelope and read it. She smiled as she read it but suddenly her smile became shock when she red who It was from. She couldn’t accept these. She simply couldn’t. Accepting them would be accepting what happened last night. And although, breathtaking, she couldn’t. She couldn’t. She almost had to convince herself. But she couldn’t.
So that’s why in a matter of seconds she found herself picking up the phone and dialing the familiar number. But when she saw her boss coming towards her office, she quickly hung up, not even knowing if Nick has answered or not.
Nick groaned as he rolled over in bed with a dead phone in his hand, he wondered who the hell would call and hang up at nine in the morning. He shrugged and went to place the phone back down on it’s receiver but didn’t quite make it and the phone was left off its hook.
When Kellie tried calling again in ten minutes, the phone was busy. Twenty minutes later, still busy. And then, she simply gave up.
When Nick finally woke up, all he heard was the piercing sound off his phone and it’s incessant beeping. He picked it up and then properly placed it back on its hook. Too little, too late.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:56 PM
Kellie chose to never look back. She felt that although her feelings may be for Nick, that she should simply get used to a life without him. She became to used to having Nick in her heart. She needed to get rid of him. And so she did.
Before anyone knew it, Kellie had left the apartment. She had moved in with Matt into his place. She promised not to decorate even though she knew the place needed some work. She promised not to take the promotion she had been offered. She promised, to Matt, to stay the same. Whether she would or not, would be entirely up to her, for a change.
As the months rolled on, Kellie and Nick hadn’t talked since. They hadn’t even tried to do so since Kellie had last attempted. As dead as they were, Kellie only kept one of the roses that he had sent her. It would be the only memory of Nick she would have to keep. The last memory of him.
Kellie kept with her job, her normal 9-5. She was never satisfied with it but was slightly happy with not taking that promotion. Planning a wedding for her and Matt was more than enough of a job for her. Matt wouldn’t help her. So she and her mother had planned the entire event. By now, she didn’t even want to go through with it although she knew she simply had to. With each counting day, her freedom was slipping away. Both she and Nick knew it.
Nick could simply tell. With each p[arse]ing day that she hadn’t talked to him, that she hadn’t thought about him, that she hadn’t seen him; her freedom was fading. Her life that she had before this relationship would be nothing more than a memory, if that. Nick had tried to continue on, and for a short time succeeded, but when after months, she wouldn’t respond to his calls, he knew something was up. He knew, most of all that it was Matt related, somehow. He hoped that one day everything would change to what he wanted. That everything would change into what he wished and hoped for on her birthday.
Maybe if he kept on wishing…
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 02:58 PM
“You ready?” She heard from outside her door.
Kellie looked at herself in the mirror and bit her lip, taking off some of her lipstick with it.
“Kel?” He asked her again.
“Yeah.” She weakly responded. She wasn’t sure if she was anymore but knew that there was no backing out of it now. It would be too late to back out of this marriage now.
“You’re not convincing me. Ya know that?” He told her again, his voice only rising.
Kellie smiled. “I’m sorry. Just a little scared.” She admitted.
“Scared?” He sighed. He knew that it didn’t sound good.
She knew, immediately, that it had come out the wrong way. It hadn’t come out as she had wanted it to. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just-”
“No, it’s fine for you to be scared.”
Kellie walked over to the door. She didn’t care about the rule how she wasn’t to see her groom before the wedding. She opened the door and looked at him. “You’re a horrible liar.”
“Whatever happened to not seeing me before the wedding?”
“Shut up.” She smiled. “Shut up and get in here.”
Matt shut up as she asked and entered her little room. “You don’t look so bad.” He told her.
“I better look better than that!” She exclaimed.
“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because someone didn’t convince me that I did.” She laughed.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “You look perfect Kel. Simply perfect. I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride.”
“Someone paid you to say that.” She joked.
“Jesus! I never win with you!” He told her back.
“Honey! I’m kidding. Calm down there big fella. I’m just jerking your chain.”
“Well, all I have to say is that tonight, you better be jerking something else.” He told her as he nibbled on her ear.
Kellie smiled and slightly giggled. “By tonight, I’d be your wife. Doing that would be my job.” She grinned. “You get to be the lucky receiver.”
Matt happily thought of everything. Of what this day had meant to him. “How did I ever get this lucky?”
Kellie shrugged her shoulders. “You were patient with me. It was something I needed.”
Outside, they could hear the music swelling up as people kept on filling up the church. A knock on Kellie’s door. Things were all ready to go.
Matt softly kissed her before leaving to go to the front of the church.
Kellie stood in her room and fixed her lipstick before heading out into the lobby. Everyone had settled in and she saw the church full of people and in it’s glory. She looked around and recognized the familiar faces.
Although, in one sudden moment, everything had changed. She saw someone who was too familiar to her. Someone who made her realize that Matt wasn’t the lucky one. He was just the one that she was going to hurt again.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 03:00 PM
As the wedding march began and Kellie’s father came over to her, he took her hand and Kellie couldn’t help but stare at that one familiar person.
“Ready?” He asked his daughter as he saw an anxious Matt waiting for his bride to be up by the altar.
Kellie nodded. She was sure that she had wanted Matt. She was sure that she liked the life she was leading for the past couple of months. She was nearly positive of everything that was going on in her life.
The moment Kellie took her first step down the aisle with her father, her troubles and fears cleared away. Kellie was free of any problems, in her mind at least. But halfway through her walk, she froze. She went to take another step and simply couldn’t.
The music stopped and everyone stared at her. She looked at her father and immediately turned around. She couldn’t go through with it. There was no way that she would be able to go through this. She felt her eyes watering up and began running back down the aisle.
Matt was left there, at the altar, bewildered by what had just happened. He walked down the few steps and began walking down the aisle towards Kellie. Five minutes ago, she was perfectly fine with marrying and suddenly everything had changed. Now she wasn’t. He ran after her and tried to catch up.
“Kellie! Don’t you dare go anywhere. What the hell is wrong with you?” He yelled at her.
Everyone was staring back at them. Parents, friends, family, and Nick.
“I can’t do it Matty. I can’t marry you.” She finally confessed. “I though I could. I thought I was ready for it but I’m not.” She went on. “I’m not meant for this.”
He had his doubts. Mainly he had his because he knew that Kellie had hers. But he thought that in the end, their years together would win over a few doubts. He was wrong. “I should have known.”
“I’m so sorry Matty. You have no idea. But I can’t do this. I can’t look at you up there and tell you whole-heartedly that you and me are meant to be there. I can’t look at you and tell you that we’re meant to get married. Meant to date, yes. But meant to marry? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“Why couldn’t you have told me this beforehand? Perhaps six months ago. Perhaps four years ago?”
“Four years ago we were ready. You weren’t. That was the problem. Now that you are-I can’t.” She went on as she leaned against the lobby’s wall. She never thought, that in a million years it would come down to this. “We should have realized this Matt. We’re just not meant to be. If I can’t walk down an aisle, what gives me the right to think that we can make an eternal marriage last?” She asked. “It won’t and you have no idea how sorry I am for that. You have no idea.”
“What makes you think that you and I will be all right if we don’t get married? You weren’t all right without me for over two years Kellie. I can’t let that happen again.”
“But this time it isn’t you who is letting it happen. It’s me. I’m the one who is kicking you out this time, not you kicking me out. Get that. Please? I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“But I wasn’t.” Matt confided in her. “I wasn’t fine for two years the same way you weren’t when you got married and then divorced. You won’t be fine when I get married and divorced the way you did. Kel, we’re good for one another. I’d like to think that today was a symbol of it but I guess not.”
“I really am sorry Matty. I am. Really.” She tried to convince him.
Matt nodded but knew that no matter what he told her, it wouldn’t work. She had her heart set on doing something else. If he loved her, he’d let her go. He wished he didn’t love her right about now.
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 03:00 PM
As Kellie watched Matt leave the church, she heard as people slowly stood up from their seats and began leaving the church. She quickly walked back towards her little room that she had to herself and shoved herself in there. She planned on staying in there forever and never leaving the small space. But she knew she couldn’t. When she heard everything quiet from the outside, she quietly opened up the door. She saw a clear coast and then began walking outside. The moment she did, that’s when she saw him. She tried to jump back inside the church but he had already seen her.
“Kellie?” He softly asked her. He didn’t want to say it any louder had there been people hanging around. He knew that she was probably embarr[arse]ed enough with what happened.
Kellie bit her lip and turned back to face him. “Hi.” She simply told him. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I had no intentions on missing it.”
“Looks like everyone did miss it. I even missed it.” She joked.
“Kel, you ran from it.” He told her as he walked up the steps, closer to her.
“I ran from so much more than just the wedding.”
“Yeah, the marriage, Matt-”
Kellie sighed. “Are you here to make me feel like crap? I have enough people to make me feel like that Nick! I don’t need that crap from you too!” She yelled at him. “I’m gonna have enough people putting me down. Enough people are gonna question me as to why I left Matt. I don’t need it from you too Nick and if that’s all you’re going to do, leave. Just leave me alone.” She barely managed to get out before her voice cracked.
Nick reached her and moved in to hug her. He placed his hands on her bare arms and rubbed them. He knew how she liked it. “I didn’t mean for it to-”
Kellie nodded and felt chills from his touch. “I’m sure you didn’t. But I can’t help but think that everything that people tell me will make me feel like that. Now I have a year to get over the marriage that didn’t happen. I have a lifetime of complaining from my parents and it won’t begin if I’m here with you.”
“Why’d you do it?” He asked her. He wanted to know if it had been because of him or because she simply was ready for it. How he prayed that it was the first one.
“I couldn’t Nick.” She looked up at him. She always felt safe with him, no matter what. She was safe with Nick.
“Tell me.”
“Nick, we knew it wasn’t right. We knew that I couldn’t do it. I was freaking out the day I got engaged. I don’t know why it ever went past that day. I don’t know why I couldn’t control it all. I let it go this far. I let myself embarr[arse] him by running away today.”
“You’re gonna beat yourself up about it and you can’t. You can’t kill yourself over this.”
“Why the hell not?” She yelled at him. “You have no idea what I’ve done. You have no idea what I’m going to go through. I had plans of being happy. Being married. I ruined it all Nick!” She even began to cry and Nick simply couldn’t take it.
“I’m five seconds from beating you Kellie.”
Kellie immediately glared at him and the tears stopped. “Nick!”
“If you really think that I would, you’re crazy.” He told her with conviction. “One minute you don’t wanna marry him and the next you’re crying because you didn’t. Pick one side and stay with it. Choice on option and keep it. You can’t change your mind all the time in life Kellie. That’s your damn problem. You can’t decide on anything. You can’t choose anything that you want. For once in your life, make up your damn mind!”
SubwayGirl98
03-17-04, 03:01 PM
Kellie jumped back. She couldn’t even imagine or process what Nick was telling-yelling at her. “When I saw everyone, my mind was set. My mind was made up. Matt was always good to me. He loved me so I was going to do that for him. I made him happy and I’ll never really understand that. But I was going to continue doing that. I was going to marry him. But then in one moment, everything changed Nick. Everything.”
“Well, what the hell-”
“You. I saw you. Well, I saw the back of your head and I knew it was you. I froze Nick. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go through with it. And once that music began-I walked but it wasn’t me. Ya know?”
Nick just stared at Kellie. God help him if he did know what she was talking about.
“Then I reached halfway and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t walk to Matt and give in to everything. I couldn’t become his wife. I didn’t want to be his wife. For once, I wanted to be Kellie. I didn’t want anyone making up my mind for me. I wanted to be me. Marrying him wasn’t me. You understand that? Right?”
Nick nodded. He understood perfectly. Perfectly. Almost too perfectly. While Kellie had been planning her wedding that never happened, Nick was too busy dating this girl, the blind date from hell that wouldn’t end. He promised his mother to take her out once. Once, unfortunately turned into a month of torture for him. But never again, he promised to himself. Never again.
Kellie hugged Nick tightly. “Why is it that I can talk to you about anything? Why can’t I just find a guy like you?” She asked. It almost felt as if she were having deja vu. As if she had been in this spot before. “Why can’t I marry you?” She asked.
Nick smiled at the thought. If only. He wished.
“I feel as if I’ve had that thought before too!” She joked. “Then again, we did get married.” She laughed but stopped quickly. “Ya know, it’s almost sad.”
“What is?” He asked her as he pulled away from their embrace.
“Look at me. All dolled up. Wedding dress and all. Nothing to go to. Nowhere to go.” That’s when it all hit. “I don’t have a home.” She told Nick and she stared into his eyes. “I don’t have a bed. I don’t have anything.” She cried. “I’m all alone. Once and for all. And I’m so scared.” She confessed. “I’m so scared.”
Nick didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know that she had moved in with Matt but could [arse]ume from what she had been saying. “You’re not alone Kellie. You know that. You have family. You have friends. And hell, when it all comes down, you got me.”
Kellie smiled. “You’re the first guy I’d go to. Everyone else is so judgmental of me.”
“I’m not-”
Kellie nodded. “I know. That’s why I’d go to you.”
Nick nodded and went with it. “Listen, we can’t stay out here all day long. Let’s just leave. Go back to my place and get you out of that dress.”
Kellie looked at him. “Sweats?”
“What else?” He smiled at her.
Kellie grinned and leaned up and kissed him on his lips quickly. “I love you Nick. I do. I love you.”
Raevengeance
03-22-04, 09:36 PM
Love the story Kimmie :)

Finally had the time to read it and it's great :)
CeeCee
05-09-04, 03:41 PM
Kimmie, the story is really cool. I loved it. I just read it today and I loved it. Keep it up.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:13 AM
She never felt as happy as she did once she saw the familiarity of Nick’s apartment. She walked in, her wedding dress following behind her. It looked like a scene from Runaway Bride. “It’s funny. The time I have the wedding dress, I don’t get married.” She told him as she carefully turned in his foyer trying not to break anything in her dress.
“Well, you know where the bedroom is.” He told her as he took his keys out of the door and then closed it and locked it.
“Just pick anything? Any piece of clothing I wanna wear?” She asked him with a smirk on her face.
“Kel—†
“Fine, I’ll be good. I promise.” She chuckled as she, and her wedding dress, walked off into his bedroom to change. She looked around his bedroom and walked towards his closet. As she pulled out a pair of his sweat pants that she knew were slightly short on him, she couldn’t help but look around. It had been one too many months since she had been there last. She missed it. She missed so much. Yet, no matter what, it all looked the same. There was barely any change at all in his apartment. She never felt so secure in life before than she did at that very moment.
As she kicked off her heels and slowly took off everything that she had been wearing, garter and all, she saw what was supposed to be her wedding night. She had her something blue on, something new and something borrowed. Now, that was all just staring back at her. Just staring at everything was making her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to face any of it. She closed her eyes and stood up. As she stood in the middle of his room in only a pair of sweatpants, she reached for his favorite shirt. She knew that he’d get in a frenzy over that. She couldn’t help herself.
As she picked up her dress, her shoes and slowly began tumbling it all into one big ball, she slowly walked out towards the kitchen where she could see the light on. “Nick? Do you have a huge garbage bag?” She asked him as she finally made her way in.
Nick looked at her and smiled. “Well, looks like you found something to wear.” He told her as he pulled a beer out from the fridge for her. “What are you gonna dump it all out? Save it for next time.” He told her.
“I think I give up on marriage. It isn’t for me. I think that’s what I can conclude from all of this. Marriage isn’t for me. Never will be. Maybe I’m meant to be a cat lady. Gather up cats in my house under I can’t gather up any more.”
“Kellie. Now you’re just talking silly. If I’ve ever met someone that marriage is perfect for, it’s you.”
“Nick, don’t even try—”
“I’m serious Kellie.” He told her he took the ball out of her hands and went to throw it one big bag, as she had wanted him too. He threw it all in and went to tie it up but didn’t. “Now what about that tiara on your head? Plan on keeping it there?” He asked her with a weak smile.
Kellie laughed and nodded. She walked over to the hallway mirror and carefully took it off. “Ya know, tonight, I’m supposed to be getting laid.” She laughed. “That’s not gonna happen for a long time now.” She thought about it before opening up her mouth again. “Shoulda done it while I had the chance.” She laughed.
Nick looked at her. Sometimes he couldn’t believe the crazy things that would come out of her mouth. Yet, no matter how crazy he loved them. Better yet, he loved her.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:14 AM
She threw the tiara in the bag. “Gimme it.” She told him. “I’ll throw this bad boy away.” She told him before taking the bag out of his hand. “I feel like ruining it for kicks!” She laughed.
“Kellie!” He yelled. “Are you crazy?” He asked her.
Kellie shook her head in disagreement. “Nope. Not crazy. Just—loony!” She told him. “That’s it. I’m loony.”
“What’s the difference? Care to elaborate there?” He laughed.
Kellie stuck her tongue out at him and then walked closer to him. “Gimme.” She looked at his shoes. “Gimme.”
“Are we a two year old?” He asked her with a chuckle.
Kellie pouted and stuck out her bottom lip.
Nick laughed and kissed her forehead.
“Nick! I need shoes. I can’t go out there like this. I can’t walk on a street barefooted. People spit out there!”
Nick laughed and took the bag back from her. He tied it up and then headed towards the door. “Sweetie, if someone saw you looking the way that you do, they’d snatch you and throw you in a homeless shelter.”
“Umm… thanks?” She asked him confused. “I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
“Bad.” He laughed. “Bad.”
Kellie pouted and then walked away from him and towards the kitchen. She heard as the he opened the door and walked back outside. She smiled. Yes, she was acting like a baby but at the end, she knew it didn’t really matter. No matter what Nick said. She knew that he would accept her no matter how she acted. No matter what she had said to him. He was understanding of her and she loved that. She needed it.
She picked up the beer and opened it. She walked into the living room, sipping her beer. She knew this place too well. She sat down on the couch and before she knew it had p[arse]ed out.
“Hey Kel! I was thinking, if you want, we can order some—” Nick stopped when he saw her lying on his couch. He walked over to her, took the beer out of her hand and placed it on top of the table. He picked her up and carried her into his bedroom. He almost missed doing it too.
When they were married, Kellie would always fall asleep on the couch as they watched TV. Almost every night, Nick would have to carry her into the bedroom. Now was no different.
Kellie felt as she was placed on Nick’s comfortable bed. She slightly moaned and opened her eyes. “Stay with me?” She asked.
Nick sighed. He wasn’t sure if he should. He knew that he wanted to. “Just tonight.”
Kellie nodded and patted the space next to her. “Comfy.” She mumbled.
Nick smiled and slowly eased into bed with her.
She rolled over to face him but never opened her eyes or spoke. She simply faced him.
Nick grinned and kissed her forehead. “Good night Kel.”
Kellie slowly moved, but only closer to him.
Nick wrapped an arm around her and then tried to fall asleep. He wasn’t sure what had happened that day. Kellie was supposed to get married and now she was lying next to him in bed. Whatever happened, he was happy that it did.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:14 AM
When Kellie woke up the following day, she looked around and saw herself lying alone in bed. She rolled over to the other side and buried her face in the pillow. She felt so comfortable in his bed. There was just something about it. It was inviting. It made you want to spend the entire day in bed, almost. As she heard some noise coming from the front of the apartment, Kellie slowly leaned up and looked out of the bedroom. She could see the shadow of Nick in the kitchen. She threw the covers off of her and crawled out of bed. She walked down his hallway, her fingers slowly tracing the walls around her. She felt the cold of the wood beneath her and it hadn’t bothered her.
Nick looked up from the refrigerator and smiled at her. ‘Morning.”
Kellie smiled back.
“I didn’t think you’d be up this early.”
Kellie shrugged and looked at the clock above the stove. “I slept long enough.”
Nick laughed and thought about it. “I guess so.”
Kellie sighed. She had no real idea of what to do next. As someone who was supposed to be on their way to their honeymoon, she was thoroughly confused. She had no idea what she was doing in Nick’s apartment. She had no idea why she didn’t marry Matt. She had no idea why she did anything the day before. Suddenly, she had regrets. She knew why she didn’t marry him. She knew that Nick, no matter happened, would be the reason for everything she did. She backed out of the marriage, not because she didn’t love Matt, not because she wasn’t ready for it. She backed out because she prayed that one day Nick would want her the way she wanted him. She knew that had she married Matt, there would be no way out of it. There would be no way to think of Nick and she couldn’t bring herself to commit to a life like that. She was married to Nick. Not even a year, but one of the best, if not the best of her life. She loved him. She still did. Even as he told her morning, she couldn’t stop feeling what she had felt for him. She knew she never could or would.
“Now what happens?” He asked her. He knew that somehow she’d have to address that question, sooner or later. He wanted the sooner.
Kellie shrugged. “I guess I go—” She thought about it. She couldn’t go home. Home was with Matt. She didn’t belong there anymore. A person can’t live with the person that they stood up at the altar. She couldn’t go home. “Umm—my parents’?” She asked.
Nick nodded. “Sure, if you want. Sure they won’t jump at you?” He asked.
Just when Kellie thought that she was in the clear. “Well then, where am I supposed to go Nick? Where can I go? I can’t go back home. I can’t go back to my parents. I can’t go anywhere. Everywhere I go, someone will be there with questions. They’ll be there, not with open arms but with screams of why I never married Matt. I can’t handle that. I don’t want to handle that. Ever.”
“So then what are you going to do?” He asked. He would tell her the obvious, but he knew that she wouldn’t go for it. Not anymore. He thought that she had moved on, despite the fact that she hadn’t married Matt.
Kellie looked up at him and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just leave. Get my things together and leave California all together. Maybe I’ll head to the east coast. Find something there to do. Find some other guy’s life to mess up.” She chuckled.
Nick wanted to smile. He really did. He wanted to be supportive of whatever she had told him but it wasn’t possible to be supportive of this. “Are you serious about that?”
Kellie nodded. “Nick, there’s nothing here for me. We both know that now.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:15 AM
Nick couldn’t stop her. He didn’t. He watched as she left his place that morning. He listened as she talked to him after leaving what used to be her home with Matt. He listened as she cried on the phone with him after speaking with her parents. But with everything, through the tears and all, she took it all like an adult. She hated the fact that her parents had just disowned her. She hated the fact that Matt never wanted to speak with her again. She hated the fact that the only man she had ever fully loved cheated on her when she was with him. She hated so much and knew she would never have things that way she wanted.
Nick hated knowing that there was nothing else that he could do. He knew that no matter how much he grove to Kellie, it wouldn’t work out. She wouldn’t be able to live down the humility she once had for what he had done to her when they were married. She wouldn’t be able to trust him, not 100% like a wife should.
Kellie kept close with him. She wouldn’t be able to completely leave Nick. She wouldn’t be able to cut him out of her life forever. And if she had to, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
Kellie regretted, already, doing what she was about to do. She already knew that she didn’t want to leave. She already knew that she didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone, even her own parents. She knew her brother didn’t want to see her go. She knew so much and yet still she wanted nothing more but to run away.
As she waited outside for her brother, she flipped up her cell phone. She wanted, so badly, to dial Nick’s number. She wanted to talk to him and have him convince her to stay but she knew her mind was already made up. She had already found herself a place to live in New York. She had already found herself a life to have without Nick.
She jumped up as she heard the honk from before her. “Hey.” She smiled.
Michael got out of his car and made his way over to her. “Sure about this? You don’t have to go. You know that.”
Kellie nodded. “And stay around for what Mike? For Mom and Dad to yell at me day after day for something I couldn’t help? For Nick and I to have this weird relationship where neither of us are really happy? There’s nothing here for me Michael. I got transferred to New York. I’m happy about that. I’ll really like it there. I always did wanna go there.”
“Shouldn’t you have gone there before you moved there?” He asked with a chuckle in his voice.
Kellie laughed. “Maybe but I can’t go back now. I’m going whether I fall in love with New York or not. I’m going.”
Michael nodded. He knew his sister wouldn’t change her mind. He couldn’t make her change her mind. “If you gotta come back home, you know you can. Don’t think that you can’t. Mom and Dad are gonna be mad but not for long. They’ll get over it. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worrying. I’m doing what I should have all along.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:15 AM
Kellie closed her eyes as she felt the plane lift from the ground. She slowly opened her eyes after feeling her ears pop when they had finally ascended into the air. She looked out of her small window and sighed. She couldn’t see land anymore. All she saw was nothing but blue ahead. All she saw was the sky and it scared her. She had never said goodbye to Nick. Not in the way she had really wanted to. In her mind, she went to say goodbye and Nick would have begged her stay. She would have given in and life would be perfect once again.
Her life wasn’t perfect; she was just running away from what could have been perfect.
Kellie may never know what true love is. She may never be as lucky to have spent the rest of her life with the person of her dreams.
But when she arrived in New York, at her apartment, her life drastically changed. When she walked in, a familiar scent filled her senses. She left her bags at the door and looked around. When she peaked into the kitchen—
“What are you doing here?” Kellie asked, a large smile on her face.
“Landlord let me in. Nice lady.”
The smile hadn’t faded. Not yet. It never would. “How did you get here before me?”
“Well, I left before you did. That’s why we didn’t say goodbye.”
“We did. Not the way I wanted to but we did. Last night.”
“Well, in my mind, I would have been there.”
“But now you’re here. Can’t have it all.”
“I’m gonna go on a hunch here and say that this is gonna turn out better.”
Kellie inched her way closer and closer to him. Closer and closer to what could have been and would have been perfection. “How can you be so sure?”
He shrugged. Made a face and shrugged. “I can’t but I’m gonna feel that way. I’m gonna think that way.”
“Why follow me? I moved here for a reason so that for once my past couldn’t follow me.”
“I wanted to Kel.”
“What for? Nick, you’re exactly that. My past. There’s nothing that’s keeping us tied to one another but the fact that neither you nor myself can let go. But when we do, we’ll finally be rid of one another. It’s why I moved here.”
“To get rid of me?”
Kellie nodded. “It sounds horrible, I know but it’s what I need. And you need it too. I need to get rid of you.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:16 AM
Nick slid off of the countertop where he had been sitting since she came in. “I don’t Kel. I never did.”
“We need to find other people. Be with other people.”
“No we don’t. I know that I never did. I don’t see why you feel the need to do that either.”
“Nick-- I can’t hold on to what I thought was perfection. I can’t keep a hold, a tight hold onto the past when I need to start thinking about my future. I moved here to get rid of everything that had haunted me.”
“So is that what I did to you? I haunted you?”
Kellie sighed. This wasn’t coming out as she had expected it to come out. “Nick, it’s all confusing.”
“You don’t say.”
“To you. I know what I mean. I can’t explain it properly in a way that won’t hurt you. I can’t explain it to you so that you don’t get hurt. I left because I needed to. I left because I needed a new start. And yes, a start without you. Mean? Sure, I can see where it is. But it’s what I had to do. I wanted to leave you in California.”
“And I didn’t stay. You didn’t get rid of me as you wished you had. Wanna move again?”
Kellie closed her eyes, secretly wishing that once she had opened them Nick would be gone. No such luck.
“I think I might take that silence as a yes.”
“Nick, I love you. Is that what you want to hear from me? I’m head over heels for you. I’d do whatever I could to stay with you. I don’t want to say something to you like this and have you take it the wrong way.” She paused, took a breath and then continued. “Yes, I love you. Yes, it’s true. I always will. I don’t want you to think that I don’t or I never will again. I can’t help but love you for my whole life. You’re in me. In me in a way I never thought possible. In me to the extent that we’ll always be connected. I’ll always know what you want, we’ll always understand each other. But I don’ know if we can ever connect as lovers the way we once did. I would hate to try and ruin everything that we do have, the friendship and closeness of whatever you call this. I can’t lose that. I don’t want to but I want you to understand where I’m coming from.
\Nick sighed, hopped back on top of her countertop again and twiddled his thumbs. “My biggest fear is losing you, losing what we have. I can’t do that. I can’t let you walk out of my life. That’s why I’m here. When you told me Kel—I freaked out, I can’t lose you.”
“There will be others Nick. I’m not the only girl in the world who’s going to love you.”
“Perhaps not. But you’re the only one who I’ll love.”
“Stop it! Stop it!” Kellie yelled. “Stop saying things like that. You always say things like that. Just stop it.” She went on. She paced the small kitchen, wondering how she’d ever be able to tell Nick what was next.
“I can’t stop it Kel. I really mean it. Sometimes I think that you don’t get it. That you don’t understand me when I tell you how much you mean to me. And how much I love you.”
“There’s someone else Nick.” She blurted out. She bit her bottom lip and waited for him to blow up at her.
“Some—someone else?” He asked.
Kellie nodded. She hated doing this to him. She just wanted to leave him, that’s all. Leave the past, leave Nick, leave Matt, start anew. “I’m sorry Nick. I just thought that after trying for so long, you’d give up when I told you I was.”
“You gave up?”
“Leaving. I gave up when I left. I wanted it to be that way.”
“So you wanted me to give up on you? On us? Simply because you left California? Kellie, you can leave the country, stay away for a year, I’m going to love you when you get back. It’s just who I am.”
“It’s not who you are. It’s who you want to be. You want to be someone who can do that. You want to be someone who can continue loving one person only and for so long I really bought it. I can’t buy it anymore. I can’t think I’m in love with you, have myself thinking the save of you and it isn’t true.”
“But I’m telling you Kel! I love you!”
“And I’m telling you that I don’t care anymore Nick!” She yelled at him with tears in her face.
“There’s someone else—You don’t care that I love you. You don’t care that I want to be with you, no matter where you are? Who the hell are you? Who are you and what have you done with Kellie? Because the woman that I know, the woman that I love would care. She’d care so much that she’d be in pain from worrying why there was a time when she felt like that. The Kellie I know would worry why I even left her in the first place.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:16 AM
Kellie walked over to her window and stared outside of it. “I met him not too long ago. He was just in for a couple of days from here. He’s a partner at the agency. They met him, my parents. They met him.” She paused. “You’d like him.” She felt the tears swelling up in her eyes and began to wipe them before they started to roll down her cheeks. “He’s really smart, Nick. Went to NYU. Grew up here and everything.”
“I had nothing to do with it, did I?” He asked her.
“Do with what?”
“Why you didn’t marry Matt.” He spoke to her from across her apartment.
Kellie didn’t respond. He had everything to do with it, but so did Trevor.
“So you just said that you couldn’t to me. Just said that it was me. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie to you Nick. I didn’t lie to you. You did have something to do with it. So much, more than you could ever understand. You have so much to do with my life. You really mean the world to me. I couldn’t have dealt with anything these past few years had it not been for you. Had it not been for what you had given me for everything, even through the pain and hurt. I couldn’t marry Matt because yes, I still wanted to be with you.”
“And this new guy? What did he have to do with it?”
“I believed that he was my real future.” She explained. “I wanted you but after so many years, I never thought I’d ever have you again. I gave up. I couldn’t hold on to what I wanted any longer. I can’t dream for the rest of my life.”
“Dammit Kellie! I want you!” He screamed at her. “I’ve wanted you since the day we met. I wanted you every second of every day when I had you. I wanted you when I lost you. I’ve wanted you when you were with Matt. I wanted you everytime you cried on my shoulder. I still want you. I want you more now because you think that I don’t. I want you more now because I know you’re slipping away into someone else’s arms. Don’t think that I don’t want you Kellie. I want you more than you’ll ever know.”
Kellie never turned back from her window. She couldn’t. The tears kept on rolling down. She felt stupid that she had never realized how much he had wanted her before. Or how much she wanted him either. She knew she’d always love him, that wasn’t questionable. She couldn’t doubt that she had wanted him. She just couldn’t believe that after all of these years, she doubted him.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:17 AM
They stayed in silence for minute after minute. She couldn’t get the nerve to turn and tell him she’d been wrong and foolish. She couldn’t apologize. She couldn’t feel anymore sorrier than she already had. Nick had no more words to speak. Nothing else to say. He had flown to New York to win her back. To bring her back to California and stay with her. He had gone there to win her over once and for all. He had gone there to get crushed and waste his time.
“I don’t know if I can go back.” She confessed.
“California?” He asked, confused.
“California, back in time. Back, anywhere.”
“Why? Do you want to go back?” He asked her. A huge part of him wishing she had.
“It all just brings back memories Nick. Whether of you, Matt, my family— Memories that I don’t really want to keep.”
“So that’s why you left? To forget about us completely,”
“I don’t want to forget you. I just want to distance myself from that life.”
“Start anew?”
Kellie nodded. “I feel like I’ve been saying that forever in some shape or form.”
“I really don’t want to lose you Kellie. You can’t live here and me there and still have us.”
Now more than ever, she didn’t want to lose him. She slowly walked over from the window and looked up at him. “I think I want to keep you.” She whispered to him.
Nick weakly smiled. “Keep me?”
“Not like lock you up in a dungeon or anything but just—keep you. To hold on to you. To still have you in my life.” She paused, waited for a reaction from him and then cut in before he had the chance to speak. “On the plane over here, I regretted not saying goodbye to you. Properly. I regretted never having that last moment with you. I know that even if I did have it, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be over for me. Saying goodbye to you isn’t something that I ever thought of doing. Ever.”
“You’re not the only one Kel.” He spoke. “I never want to say goodbye to you. Ever. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to have to worry about you because you’re away. I want to know that you’re safe without having to call halfway across the country. I want to know you’re happy. I want to know a lot that I can’t know about you without actually being with you.”
Kellie played with the ends of her hair. “Nick, there’s so much that I want to know about you. Things I haven’t even learned yet. Things I wish I knew more about. New attributes you’ve picked up along the way that I don’t know of. I wish I could remember everything about you. How you smell, how you look, how your hair falls down atop your eyebrow if you don’t have it gelled back, how your eyes sparkle at night, and how after you’ve licked your lips they’re shiny. I—I just miss knowing all of that. I miss seeing it.”
What she had said nearly sent him over. He was literally only one second away from jumping on her and claiming her his. “Why are we missing things and wishing we had things when we both want the same thing?” He asked her. “If you stay here… if we’re not together… I’ve lost you. I can’t have that happening.”
“I can’t risk anything Nick.”
“What’s the risk?” He asked her, his voice rising.
“I’m afraid Nick.”
“Of what?”
“Getting hurt again.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:18 AM
Nick sighed to himself and knew what she had meant. “I thought we were over all of that.”
Kellie nodded. “We were. At least, I thought I was.”
“So it’s always going to come back and bite me in the [arse]?” He asked her.
Once again, she nodded. “I just—I don’t want to take the risk. I know I couldn’t handle it if I did and it happened again.”
“Then how can you possibly trust me? How can you stand here and listen to me say everything if you can’t even let that stay in the past?”
She shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.” She knew that by saying what she was, she was clearly hurting him.
Years ago, it had happened. The reason as to why they weren’t together now and why they hadn’t stayed together. And now, when he thought that he was in the clear, he wasn’t.
“So that’s it. You think I’m going to do it again? So that’s it?”
Once again, she paced her kitchen and sighed. She ran her fingers through her long hair and wondered. If he hadn’t done anything like this in such a long time, what made her think he’d do it now?
“I really thought we had gotten over that. I really thought that we were p[arse]ed it. That we had forgot about it. Why can’t you leave that in the past the way you want to leave everything else there? Why do you have bring it up?”
“It’s a part of who you are and a part of who I am. I can’t leave something like that in my past. I can’t just let that go and leave it as that. I know that it happened and I can’t forget it. I’m sorry. I can’t. I know I forgave you. You made it hard for me to not forgive you.” She slightly smiled. “But I don’t know if I can ever let it go.”
Nick walked over to the living room, picked up his bag and went towards the door.
After all these years, he was going to leave. After everything that she had been trying to accomplish by going to New York, he was leaving. After everything she had explained tonight, he was leaving. Could it be that he had finally understood. She had wanted to leave her past behind her in California and now he was going home. He was giving her what she had wished and suddenly, she didn’t want it.
“I guess I should have [arse]umed that it wouldn’t work out once I got here.” He softly spoke to her as he reached to unlock the door.
“It would be wrong of me to ask you to stay, wouldn’t it?” She nodded. “It’d be wrong.”
Nick took his hand off of the lock and turned to look at her. “You can ask me whatever you want. You can ask me to stay. You can ask me to leave Kel.”
“I think I want you to stay.”
“I think you need to make up your mind. Want me gone or do you want me to stay?”
Kellie wondered, really wondered what she had wanted herself. She knew that a part of her wanted to be with him. She knew that a part of her wanted to know what a Nick-free life was. She knew that she’d always worry about him nonetheless.
She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. She kept him in her arms. She felt his warmth next to her body and felt happy. She felt safe. She let one arm drop and felt his bag. She felt her way to its handle and took it from him into her hands. She slightly bent down and set it on the floor. She looked back up at him, in his eyes, and back went her arm, around him. She hadn’t wanted to let go. She didn’t want to let go of him. She wasn’t planning on it anytime soon.
Nick’s arms found their way around her tiny body, around her waist, slightly pushing her towards him.
“I’m already here.” She whispered to him.
“I can see that.” He smiled.
She had finally made up her mind. She chose him.
He gently kissed the top of her head and rested his chin atop her head. “So are you coming home?” He asked her.
“Home? Home is gone.” She told him. “This is my home now.”
“You’re staying?” He asked her. She had picked him. She had chosen him to be hers. And now he was left, once again, wondering.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:19 AM
“I left Nick. I’m really not going back.”
“So then I have to move here.” He told her.
“You don’t have to. I can’t make you.”
“I can’t have you and be on the older side of the country. I need you completely, not when I visit the east coast. You’re not going to be one of my girlfriends. I want you for always. All the time, not when our schedules let us fly and see one another.”
Kellie knew that already something was in their way. She couldn’t make him move to her. And she didn’t want to go back. She had no idea what to do, how to handle the situation. “Well, what do you want me to say? I’m serious Nick, I’m not moving back there.”
“So then I have to move here.”
“I don’t want you. I can’t force you to move somewhere that you don’t even want to be.”
“You’re too stubborn for your own good. You know that?”
“So what now? We give up?”
“Why don’t you want to go back?” He asked her. Wondering, why in such a short amount of time, living in California seemed so bad to her. Why it seemed as if, in Kellie’s mind, California had the plague.
“I just don’t Nick. I don’t want to go back to California. I’m sorry but I don’t.” She fiddled around with a band on her ring.
Nick figured it out. “Leave San Francisco?” He asked her.
Kellie looked up at him. “What?”
“”What if we leave there? California is huge. I’m sure we could find something that we’d like in another city.”
She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe what he was telling her. “You want to just pick up and leave? All because of me?”
Nick nodded. “You’re worth it.”
Guilt set in. Full time. “You know that I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you change your life just for me.”
“You’re my wife!” He yelled at her. He was fed up with her saying no all of the time. He was fed up with the schemes of her telling him the negative all the time.
Kellie stared at him. “No I’m not.” She whispered.
Nick sighed and opened his mouth. He was about to say something but stopped, he couldn’t. Moments later, “That’s right.”
Kellie slightly nodded. She hadn’t wanted to agree but it was truth. She wasn’t his wife. She wasn’t bound to him the way he had always thought she was.
“I can’t believe I said that.” He muttered.
She noticed how quiet he had become. She inched over to him and placed her hands on his arms and gently rubbed them. Leaning in to him, she rested her head on his chest. She felt his heart beating, rapidly. She wanted to calm him down, herself as well. Forget about everything and be. Just be who she was and have him be his self. No need to argue, no need to discuss the future. Just live in the now, in each other’s arms, in Kellie’s new apartment.
“It’s going to be all right. I promise you.” She gently kissed his heart. “I promise you. It’s going to work out.” She tried to convince herself as well as him, but only ended up worrying herself even more.
“I want to believe you. I want to believe everything. I don’t know how to work this out Kel.” He told her as he stared straight at her wall. “I don’t like not knowing how to fix this. How to solve it. I don’t want to get my hopes up about anything yet. I’m afraid to do so.” Kellie stood there, her arms around his. “I’m afraid.” He admitted.
“I know you are. I’m sure you are. I can’t expect you not to be afraid. I can’t ask for that from you. I’m afraid too. Maybe even more than you.” She confessed.
“So we’re on the same boat?”
Kellie nodded. “Same boat, different states but the same boat.” She smiled.
Nick let out a small chuckle.
“Made ya laugh.” She joked as she looked up at him.
Nick nodded, a smile upon his lips. “Yep, that you did.”
Kellie grinned and stepped up on her tip toes and gently kissed him. “I mean it, it’s gonna be fine.”
Nick nodded. He needed to believe her, more than anything in the world, he needed to believe her.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:19 AM
And so Nick believed her and she was right.
Everything worked out fine and after a couple of weeks of living in New York, Kellie couldn’t stand it. Too hectic for her. She couldn’t possibly fit in.
They had made up a plan, in case. Kellie had been adamant about staying in New York. Nick had been honest when he said he didn’t care. Nick didn’t care and he stayed with her in New York. He even became used to it, not immune, but use to it.
She came home and told him. She couldn’t, not anymore. And that night, they were on their way back to the sunny west coast. They were on their way back to their lives.
Kellie feared home. She was afraid of going home. She was afraid of seeing the people she knew she had hurt. She knew what her parents [arse]umed. She knew they thought she was with Nick. She knew they thought that he was the reason for everything lately. That he had brought her down. That he had been the reason behind leaving Matt cold and dry at the altar. She couldn’t face her parents had they really felt that way. Nick, now more than ever, was a part of her life. He wasn’t new like he once was. He wasn’t just some guy to her. He was the guy. He was her guy. The guy she knew she’d marry again. The guy who brought her happiness and even sadness when it came around. The guy she’d always refer to as her soul mate. Nick was, possibly, the pride and joy of her life. She couldn’t have her parents hating him. She couldn’t have the two at odds.
Once they hit home, Kellie focused on her life, not what other’s expected her to focus on. She focused on her new life. In California, she left the past and focused on the new. She felt reborn with Nick this time around. She knew he liked his French toast. She knew that there’d be times when her parents would call and he’d answer. She knew that when there was a game on, to never interrupt him. She knew that when all else failed, to order pizza to cheer him up. She knew him. There was nothing to learn about him. There was no family to meet. There was just the two of them. All they had was one another. They’d rely, adore and be with one another. They wouldn’t have to answer to anyone.
Kellie couldn’t love it anymore than she already did.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:20 AM
“Try going the other way.” She suggested as she tried to turn around a sofa.
“It’s not moving.” Drew laughed. “It ain’t going anywhere.”
“How the hell did you get this in here anyways? Make a whole in the roof and just let ‘em drop it in here?”
Drew laughed. “You kept all the furniture so he had to buy more. He bought bigger furniture.”
“Why? To compensate for something?” She laughed as she tried pushing it with all her might.
“”Youâ€℠¢re gonna get a hernia and this damn couch is gonna be in the same place as it was before.” Drew told her as he stepped away from the dreadful black couch.
“You guys trying to move that thing? Still?” Nick asked them while trying to hide his laughter.
Kellie nodded. She wasn’t planning on giving up.
Drew sat on the couch and laughed at her. “I gave up… long time ago.” He laughed.
Kellie pouted and threw herself on the couch. She leaned sideways and lied down, her head resting on Drew’s lap. “Perhaps I should give up.” She offered.
Drew laughed and nodded. “Think ya should have done that ages ago. Perhaps save us the time of trying to move it, realizing it wouldn’t move and then trying to move it anyway.”
“Oh shut up.” She laughed and then hit him in his stomach.
“Ow!”
Kellie giggled. “Like I hurt you.” She jokingly rolled her eyes.
“Could have!” He exclaimed as he tried playing with her.
Nick looked over at them and wondered. “Should I give you guys a minute?” He asked them.
Kellie looked up at Nick. She could tell he was serious, but all she could do was laugh. “Come on Nick, tell him to stop.”
Nick glared at his brother. “Get your hands off my wife Drew!” He yelled at him.
Drew kept on and shot his brother a look.
“I said off dammit!” Nick yelled, yet again. He grabbed Kellie and pulled her off of his own brother.
Kellie flew onto the floor. “God, Nick! Geez, couldn’t have flung me any nicer?”
Nick hadn’t paid attention to her. His eyes were on his brother.
“Nick!” She yelled at him. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Drew glared back and stood up from the couch. He walked over to Kellie and helped her up. “Calm down Nick. Your temper’s flying through the roof.”
Nick glared at both of them. “Calm down? Are you crazy?” He asked them.
“Perhaps I should be asking you that?” She asked him as she dusted off some particles of lint off her black pants. “What’s gotten into you Nick?”
Nick rolled his eyes at her and remained silent as he fixed up a loveseat.
Kellie sighed and walked away from him. “Why are you so damn possessive?” She yelled halfway across his apartment. She wouldn’t dare think of it as hers. It would never be hers. It wouldn’t even be theirs. It was his. “What have you turned into?” She asked him. “Why are you like this lately? You’ve never been this way. Ever. In all the years that I’ve known you. You’ve never been this way and now you are.”
“Well Kel, I changed.”
“And not for the better.” She muttered.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:21 AM
Drew looked over at her and then over at his brother. He wasn’t sure if he had begun a fight or was simply caught in one. “I think I’m gonna go.” He told Kellie.
She nodded. “Thanks… for what it’s worth.”
Drew nodded and went to kiss her goodbye but didn’t. He knew how overprotective Nick had become. He didn’t want him to blow up more than he already had.
Kellie went over towards the door, following Drew, and let him out. She turned and faced Nick. “Now really, what’s eating you? What’s really wrong with you? I want you to tell me. We’re the kind of people who tell each other things. You’re keeping something back.”
“Why is my brother all over you?” He asked her.
“What?”
“What’s with him?” He rephrased for her.
“I wouldn’t know. What makes you think I know?”
Nick shrugged. “I guess I just think you know.”
“Sorry but I don’t. I almost wish I did.”
“What for?”
“So you could get off my case about it. It’s not the first time you blew up about something like this.”
Nick sighed. He feared this would happen.
“What if you and I make it an early night?” She asked him. “We head to bed, get all cozy and watch a movie or something. Just you and me. Nothing else, nowhere else. We get into our PJs, crawl into bed and relax. I think we need it.”
“You think I need it. You don’t lose it like I do.”
“You’re a Scorpio… I understand.” She joked as she walked over to him. “You know you need to relax. Now you can. Come on. Forget about everything.
“Easier said than done.”
Kellie really wondered now. “Be honest with me. Please. What’s eating you?”
Nick couldn’t possibly tell her. He knew she’d flip out on him. He knew what her reaction would be.
“Stop stalling and spit it out.” She whispered to him as she clung onto him.
“Are you ch—” He stopped.
“Am I? Am I what?”
“Are you chilly?” He asked her. He couldn’t possibly ask her what he had really wanted to know. What he had wanted to know could possibly tear them apart for asking.
Kellie sighed. “No, no I’m not.” She turned and walked away from him. She couldn’t beat it out of him. She couldn’t force him to tell her what was wrong with him. She couldn’t force him to do anything. For once she wished she could.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:22 AM
Kellie had wondered what had been wrong with Nick recently. She couldn’t tell herself to forget about it, she needed to concentrate on it. She always did. She watched him. She paid attention to him, more so than she ever had. Nothing was getting through to him. She couldn’t understand his actions.
She sat across from Nick, who was content with watching his football game. Never once did she watch the screen, she only watched him. She wondered his eyes hadn’t budged from the TV. She wondered so many things. Wondered what had spaced him out recently.
“Nick?” She asked as a commercial for Rogaine played in the background. “Nick?” She asked him again.
“Huh?” She asked her, his eyes still fixated on the plasma screen in front of him.
“Good game?” She asked nicely.
Nick shrugged. “Bengals down by 10.”
Kellie nodded and stopped right there. When his team wasn’t in the lead, she knew not to bother him. It was his personal time.
“Why?”
Conversation? Continuous conversation? Something was wrong with him. “No reason.”
“Something eating you?” He asked her as he patted the empty couch space next to him.
Kellie stood up, walked over to him and sat down next to him. She placed her hand on his leg and rubbed it. “A little.”
“Come on… tell me.” He told her as he muted the TV.
She turned and looked at it. “Game’s back on.” She told him.
Nick looked up and saw that she was right. He looked back down at her. “Tell me, what’s bothering you.”
Kellie stood up and began to walk away.
Nick grabbed her hand. “No. Tell me Kel.”
“What if the Bengals score a touchdown or something?” She asked him, nicely.
“Honey— I want you to tell me what’s up. Just talk to me.”
She looked up at the screen and watched as a slight fight had broken out. “Look, I made you miss the play. Obviously something happened. They’re fighting.” She pointed out to him. “Just watch the game. We can talk afterwards.”
Nick took the remote and turned off the TV. “I want you tell me now. I want you to speak to me.”
“You never turn off the game Nick.”
“Well, look, I did. I turned it off now. I just want you to tell me what’s up. I don’t want things to be going on up there without me knowing. I want you to fill me in. Obviously something’s up. If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll understand. But if you do want to tell me, my ears are open now.”
“I want to know what’s wrong with you.”
“With me? Something’s wrong with me?”
Kellie nodded. “I think. The other day you flung me Nick. Flung me. Not like a playful fling either. You yelled at Drew. Bossed the poor guy around. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was just being himself. The same way he’s acted with me for all of these years. Why get upset about it now?” She asked him.
“Don’t hate me. Please, don’t hate me.” He started.
“Why doesn’t this sound promising?” She asked him.
“It may not be.” He warned her.
“What is it? Tell me before you worry me more than you already have.”
“Be honest with me too.” Kellie nodded and waited for him to continue.
“Are you and Drew—” He paused. He couldn’t dare ask her that.
Kellie nodded and sighed. “So that’s it. You think that Drew and I are sleeping together.” So that’s what was on Nick’s mind recently. ‘You think because you did it, that I would get payback?”
Nick sighed. And so she took it the wrong way. There was no other way to take it, unless he had been right. But he had been wrong, drastically wrong.
“I don’t get even. I get mad, I get upset but not even. I can’t believe that you really thought that about me.”
“I just—I’m sorry.”
Kellie nodded and picked up the remote. She turned the TV back on and turned up the volume, before flinging the remote at him. “Just watch the game.” She told him before walking off.
Nick caught the remote and threw it down on the couch. “Nice going Nick.” He muttered to himself before looking up at the TV again.
“If I were sleeping around with Drew, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to let you suspect it. I wouldn’t let him touch me. I wouldn’t want you to suspect anything. I’m not the kind of person to do that to someone.” She spoke as she entered hid bedroom.
Although she spoke softly, it was loud enough for him to hear.
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:23 AM
And so the [arse] kissing began. Kellie hated it. She knew that what Nick has insinuated between her and his brother was horrible, even for him.
Nick tried his hardest to get on her best side. Bringing her flowers when she least had expected them. Picking her up from work. Taking her out to dinner. Some people saw it as being romantic. Kellie couldn’t see it that way. She knew she wouldn’t let herself see it that way.
Kellie came upstairs, hands full. Two bags of groceries in one hand and in the other, her purse and briefcase. On her shoulder, her tote bag. She set down the groceries and opened up the door. “I’m home!” Kellie called out. She waited for a response but received nothing. She walked inside, the door, wide open. Towards the kitchen and placed the bags of groceries on the countertop.
“Kel!” Nick called out as he slowly made his way into their apartment. “Ya home?”
“In the kitchen.”
“What the hell’s the door doing open?” He asked her as he made his way over to the kitchen and saw her placing some groceries away.
“Full hands. Couldn’t close it.” She told him as she kept on rearranging in the fridge. As she stood back up, Nick grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.
“Welcome home.” He smiled and kissed her, p[arse]ionately.
“Mmm—Nick. Come on now. Stop. Gotta put these things away before they spoil.”
Nick nodded and let go but quickly changed his mind. “So we buy more.”
“We’re not rich.”
Nick looked at her and laughed. “Umm—hello.â⠬ He told her insinuating himself.
“Umm—hello but I’m not. So if you don’t mind.” She said as she went back putting the ice cream and milk away.
Nick sighed. “Say one thing wrong and you’re scarred for life.”
Kellie stopped, closed the fridge and turned to him. “And that one thing you said was perhaps the biggest mistake of your life.” She told him, staring at him dead eye.
“You can’t forget it.”
“Sorry but the burn of it is still fresh in my mind. I apologize.”
Nick nodded and went to sit down at the table.
Kellie said nothing more and finished up in the kitchen before heading off to the bedroom. She quickly changed into some sweatpants and one of Nick’s white t-shirts. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and then went back out to the kitchen. “So what do you want for dinner?” She asked him.
“Come here.”
“What is it?”
“Got you something.” He told her.
“More flowers?” She asked him, a slight smile across her lips.
Nick chuckled and disagreed. “No more flowers. Promise.”
Kellie sat down on his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. “So, what is it?”
In that one act, there was comp[arse]ion and even forgiveness.
Nick sifted over a little and took out a small something from his pocket. He handed it over to her. “Go head. Open it up.”
Kellie smiled and bit her bottom lip slightly when she saw the small box. She opened it up and then dropped it in her lap. “Nick—†
“Like it?” He asked her.
Kellie paused and thought. “Yes.” She smiled. “Yes.”
”I figured it was about time I gave ya one.” He joked.
“High time buddy. High time.”
SubwayGirl98
06-07-05, 12:24 AM
He never had to ask her. He knew she’d go with it. He knew it was what she had wanted. He knew that she wouldn’t turn him down. She wouldn’t be able to say no to him, not to this.
“Wanna put it on?” She asked him, handing over the box.
Nick nodded, took the ring from her and slipped it on. “Forgive me?”
Kellie nodded. “I do but ya better not be doing this so that I do forgive ya! Ya better mean this Lachey.”
Nick laughed. “I do. I mean it. Not just some ploy to make ya forget what happened.”
Kellie grinned and kissed him. “In which case I really mean what I said.” She smiled. “And yes. It is about high time that I get one. Gypped me out of one the first time.” She laughed before getting off of his lap.
“Hey now! Where you going?”
She walked over to the fridge, opened it up and pulled out a tall, thin bottle. “Wanna open it?” She asked him.
Nick extended his hand and took it out of hers. He carefully peeled off the foil and then went to push out the cork. “I hate this part.” He told her.
“Why do you think you’re doing it?” She laughed.
Nick turned to her and the cork flew out and champagne flew onto Kellie. Nick couldn’t help but laugh.
Kellie gasped and grabbed the bottle from him and covered the top with her finger. She shook it and then let her finger go towards Nick. “Now who’s laughing?” She giggled.
Nick took the bottle from her and placed it down on the table before pulling Kellie into him. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. “I love you.”
Kellie smiled against his lips as she kissed him. “Guess we’re lucky.”
Nick kept her up, his hands on her butt. “We’re extremely lucky.
Kellie’s hands reached for the bottom of his shirt and started pulled it off of him. She pulled it off his arms, one by one, as he was careful not to drop her by doing so. She rolled it up into a ball and threw it on the floor.
With one hand, Nick unbuttoned Kellie’s blouse and pushed it off of her.
Kellie kissed him, as deeply as she possibly could.
She felt Nick walking towards the bedroom.
“No, no. Wait a sec. Go back.”
Nick pouted but did so.
Kellie leaned over to the table and grabbed the bottle of champagne. “Now we can go.” She smiled, kissing him every inch of the way.
littleprincessj
06-07-05, 08:44 AM
Woohooooooo! missed this story!! I'm goign to read RIGHT now :)
Luv_98_Degrees
12-03-05, 08:45 PM
I love your story Kimmie!!!!!! Great job!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D