The Story Of Us

[littleprincessj]

<span style="font-family:Optima">Okay, okay this is another one!


*******

Part 1



"Sorry I'm late...traffic..." Nick kisses Jessica
hello before taking a seat in front of her.
"It's fine...I already ordered...our favorite..."
She smiles looking at him. They have been dating for
almost 2 months now, after their frequent meeting on a
park they now call, their park. Since the first time
they met, there has been this bond, feels like they
have known each other so well. How they share their
days, and then their stories, so easily since the very
first time. And how they enjoyed each other's company
immensely, feeling like the world's stop when they are
together.
" You wait long?"


" Not really..." Jessica answers, but continues." You
have to pay though...." She smiles secretively.
" No.....do I have to???" Nick plays along with her
game.
" Yup...dinner tonight...you in charge...no
arguments...no being late...again!" Jessica smiles
even more looking at Nick's fake miserable face over
the punishment.
" At least you don't make me cook..." Nick looks at
her pleadingly. “No...You don't..."
“Yes I do...." Jessica laughs when Nick sticks his
foot to her calves, and admonishes him with her glare, which of course does not faze him. They have to stop though when the-not-so-pleased-with-their-attitude waitress serve their lunch. They smiles at each other knowingly before craving to
their hunger, dig into the-seems-to-be-delicious-food.


*****


They walk leisurely on the quiet park after, hand in
hand, taking in the beauty, enjoying their time
together.
" Sometimes I want to be just like those trees." Jessica breaks the comfortable silence, looking at the beautiful surrounding.
" Why?"
" You know, they lost their leaves during autumn, but when the spring arrives, they live again, the leaves grow again, the flowers blossom, so beautiful. They
can survive bad times, and it's a certain, it's a cycle they master perfectly." She has a dreamy look upon her face, and Nick lets go of her hand and
instead holds her tight.


“I think we’re just like them." He says after a moment
of silence.
"How so…?" Jessica looks up to see him looking faraway.
" We each have our bad time, sometimes we don't even know that we would survive, but there are things that keep us going...things that make us survive..." A pause " When my parent’s got a divorce...It was very hard...I never thought that I'd be able to really live again..." Nick paused for awhile" I didn't...for a
very long time." Nick stops, and looks at her fondly, releasing his hold, giving the space, now looking down at her.


"Now…?" Jessica asks softly, not daring to believe she actually asked that question, not quite sure she's ready with the answer. Nick gently caresses her face, and answers her with the only thought going through
his mind.
"With YOU in my life…?" He answers in a whisper and smiles a little at Jessica's obvious nervousness.
"It's beautiful now." Jessica looks up to find his
loving gaze, a smile on his lips. Nick continues after a short pause.
"You help me find that beauty Jess...You help me really live again...You're my life..." He knows how true his words are, even in their short time together, she helps him fill that empty void in his heart ever since his parent’s divorce, she helps him to forgive himself for thinking the divorce was all his fault, and she's help him through a lot of things that he has to go through, the day to day struggle of being a young, still scratch from the bottom just out of med school Doctor. And looking at her radiant smile, he finally has the courage to say one thing he'd been struggling to say lately, one thing he already realized.
" I love you." It seems like forever to Nick before Jessica answers...
“I love you too..."


*******

~*Few weeks after*~

“Do you have to go this early???" Jessica looks up at
him getting ready for work from her comfortable place
on the bed; it's still 8 o'clock in the morning.
" Yes, I have to..." Nick stops his actions and looks
at Jessica still lying on his bed, he's all dressed
up for the important meeting he has today. He moves to
the bed and kisses Jessica soundly on the lips. “And
don't you dare say otherwise..." He adds playfully.
" I hate Mondays..." Jessica groans and gets up, helping him with his tie. She has spent the whole weekend at his apartment, and now is time to go back to their routine. "What time will you be back?" She's
free today, and wants to spend her time with him.
“Late...." Seeing the disappointment on Jessica's face
he continues. “I have an important meeting with a new
patient; she's a very good patient and wants us to do her surgery…she could pick anyone but she came to our office."
"I never ban you from helping the ill Nicholas, I just want you to be careful and look after yourself...they are not everything..." She straightens his shirt.
"I know.” Jessica looks up only to get a well needed
kiss. “YOU...ARE...everything." Nick adds
wholeheartedly. Jessica is about to give a playful answer, but stop short seeing the sincerity in his eyes, and voice the only thing going through her mind...
"Thank you....”rewarding him with a kiss, he so deserved.

******

" Okay...so tell me...what happened…?" Lea stands in front of Nick's desk, both hands on her hips, sick of the not knowing. She has noticed the happy mood going on with Nick the past few weeks, all the spontaneous smiles, the dreamy looks, and she just want to know, NOW.
" What? What are you talking about?"
" Nick...please....we don't have to do twenty questions here...just come right out about it....or you want me to drill it out of you..."
“What I...." Nick can't lie to the woman that he has considered his best friend, truth to be told, he has been dying to tell her everything, ask for some
suggestion maybe, on what to do, and everybody knows he is completely clueless as to how to treat the woman he loves, since he never had the experience.
“I met someone...." He says just above a whisper.
" Come again?" Lea takes a seat on the couch, looking at him, still having both her hands on her hips.
" I said...I met someone." He says again, louder this time, walking from his desk, to sit on the chair near the couch. Here comes the explanation, and he is not afraid, he wants to shout it to the world, he has met someone.
“Really? Someone I know? "
" I don't think so...."
“Okay...tell me about her..." Lea order again. “Come
on Nick we don't have forever, your appointment is in an hour." Lea gives him her imploring eyes.


“Her name is Jessica....we meet few months ago... and
she...She is just so....she's incredible, Lea, so amazing...she's just the greatest woman I know...I..." Nick shakes his head, smiling, and consumed by his feeling for her. “She makes me feels all the things I have never felt before and more....she makes me feel so alive....and she's just...so..." Nick trails off
not finding the right words to express the way he feels.
" You're in love...." Lea knowing him the way she does, stating the obvious truth.
" Yeah...I am...." Lea is taken aback, expecting some denial not really ready with the truthful answer.
" Have you told her???" She asks after a short silence.
" Yes....I have....you never think that I'd be able to do that, huh?" Nick teases a little finding the course of the conversation a little too serious.


"Yup, never thought you could..." Lea answers equally as playful, but she's serious with her next words "She must have been a very extraordinary woman to get you like that..." She knows Nick well enough, he never let himself feel love, to fall in love, and now....
"Yeah…she is..." Nick smiles. "She is just so...." He struggles to find the right word.
"I know...." Lea saves him from having to try to find the yet unfound word. “Now, go get ready for your meeting." She pats his knee.
"Who made you boss, here??? Huh???..." Nick teases and gets up and goes back to his chair, while Lea starts to get out of the office, but before she
close the door though, she turns around. "Nick...."


"Yeah?" Nick looks up from his work.
"Congratulations...I'm happy for you...." And she means it, Nick has every right to feel happy and in love, despite what people think of him, he is a good
man, a great man in fact. And if this woman can make him this happy, she knows she'll like her too. She just wishes that he won't get hurt, he’s got too much heartache to last him a lifetime.
"Thank you..." A pause... "I'll introduce you to her soon...." Nick answers and smiles. "You'll love her." he adds. He has wanted to do that since
the very first time he realized how infatuated he is
by Jessica, Lea has been his best friend, his sounding board.
" I bet....now work!" Lea points to the pile of patient files on his desk, and gets out.


*******


Jessica walks in the apartment she, now, is so accustomed with, and makes her way to the kitchen, efficiently preparing the food for their dinner,
humming a tone from her favorite song.
" Hey..." Nick's voice surprised her. He leans in the doorway, both hands crossed over his chest, looking lost.
"God, you scared me Nicky...I didn't know you already home." Jessica walks up to him and kiss him hello. Noticing his detached stage she looks at him with curiosity.
"What's wrong…?" She asks stroking his cheek lovingly. Nick was silent for a while before answering her.
" I met a woman today..." Nick answers, but not really looking at her, his eyes looking far away.


"Yeah…? Tell me about it..." Judging from his defeated, troubled expression, Jessica guesses its probably one of those client that makes him questioning all about his profession, those times that he feels insecure and unsure, asking again about humanity, and justice. It's a job that can cause a lot of heartache, a lot of soul searching, that will expose him to so many injustice and cruelty of the world, especially working with the sick children…that’s always hardest for him because he wants them to be okay; wants them to grow up and have a normal life not live with some illness to prevent them from a normal childhood and she wants to help him go through all of that. She knows how closed off Nick can be, and so thankful that he finally is able to open up to her, that he can share all things happening to him, even his past with her so easily, and how she can also do the same with him.


"It's a woman asking me to be her treating doctor on an upcoming surgery she’s having on her shoulder. She informed me she needed it done within the month so she could be present for a court hearing with her divorce…"
"And…?" By now, Jessica is holding both of his hands, looking into his eyes, but he seems to refuse looking back at her.
"Her name is Tina Simpson..." They both went silent before Nick finally looks at her, seeing Jessica's frozen hearing the name. Nick's looks gives her all the answer that he knows everything already.
" Who are you, Jessica...and what do you want?" Nick asks her emphasizing each word, tears welled in his eyes. He frees himself from Jessica, needing some
space.


"Nick...I..." Jessica starts to explain but the look on Nick's face stops her short. He looks so deeply hurt.
"I don't...I don't know you at all...all this time and you were..." Nick can't finish his words, realizing that all the beautiful times they have shared all this time has been based on lies, her lies, she's been lying to him all this time.
"Nicky...please..."
"What do you want Jessica...What..." Nick broke off again, feeling his heart shattered.
"Nick...." Jessica tries to calm him, reaching for him. Trying to help him, she hates seeing him hurting. But his feeling of being betrayed got the better of him, and he lost control.


"No, you listen...All this time you were lying to me, all those...you...I can't believe...God...all this time..." He moves away, not even want to look into
that face, those eyes, and the person he cherishes with all his heart, the one he's wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He feels like a fool, she's kidding him, playing with him. He still feels how his heart stops short looking at her pictures at that big Victorian house today. Right up from her younger years until her most recent one, filling every corner of
that house. Finally he knows what she's been hiding all this time; finally realizes that she's been lying to him.


Jessica's mom has told him everything, in her 'proud mother' way, and how she's been so worried about her precious only daughter. Jessica being their family little princes, everybody ready to give her all that she wants, and how the family problems really get to her, making her turn from the sweet, caring, innocent, obedient Jessica, into a troubled, ignorant, always breaking the rule Jessica.


She told him how Jessica has spent most of her time at her friends' house, Nick thinks bitterly on that....her friends....she spent all those time, with him....every weekend the past few months, and almost every chance they got. How can he be that stupid...Jessica...looking at her now, he can see her actually being 16, he thought it was all that make up-less thing, how stupid...He has been blind, so gullible, but he won't be anymore, he won't let her play him like a fool...


She has played with him, lying to him, telling him all those stories of her being a staff in one of the companies in town, which now he knows, belongs to her mother. Telling him of her being 21, drop out of college, because of money problems...how he now, laughs at that idea, knowing how wealthy her family is, of her parents splitting up...okay so that one is true...but he doesn't know...which are the truths and which are her lies...


He can understand now, why each time he even mentions the idea of her meeting some of his friends or relatives, or him wanting to meet hers scares the hell out of her. They will see what he has been so blind of. He remembers the time when he wanted her to go along with him meeting his dad, she said it was too soon, and he believed her. He didn't want to press further, afraid in doing so, he would push her away, now, he knows better...and how that hurts...that she has been lying to him...betraying their trust....trust...he thinks bitterly on that one...they never had that....


Jessica knew someday this time would come, he will find out the truth, ‘the truth will come out in the end' and how she knows it could really be 'the end', she just doesn't really prepare for this, hell she won't be prepared for this, she knew lying to him from the start will backfired at her, he would be hurt, she would be hurt.


But not lying to him was not and will never be her choice, cause that will just kill even the slightest chance of them together, her age alone will deter him, that one she's sure off, Nick will just think of her as a kid, a 16 year old girl, not mature enough to face the world, to be in love, to feel love, and to share it with him, to accompany him through this life, but all that she's been through, she knows more than her age, all her experience makes her more mature, giving her the privilege and ability to see life as if she were older, she knows what she's feeling.


And if Nick can face the age problem, there would be her social status, along with it all of her families and their relatives and friends, the fact that her family is just one of the richest, most respected
family in Waco, the world that Nick never liked, never want to be a part of, all his stories show that, she knows if Nick had known about her from the beginning, there would be no 'them'. But looking at his dejected postures now, with the pain clearly showing on his face, his demeanor, she knows how much she has hurt him.


Nick respects honesty, and truth, and she's been lying to him all this time. But she never lies to him about her love, and she's gonna make him see, she's gonna convince him, and hopefully he will believe her, cause that's the only thing she knows will make all this heartache and pain go away, and will get them through all the barriers she knows are on their way. If they're gonna make it, she just have to let him see. The truth....She walks up to him, taking his hand that just hangs lifelessly beside him.


"I love you...." She says that slowly...above a whisper. "I love you, Nick..." She says it stronger this time.


Nick shakes his head, though he can hear sincerity and plea there in those three words that always sent him flying when those are said by the woman now saying it, with her hands holding his tight. He can't look at
her knowing when and if he does he will just give in into those eyes pleading for him to believe her. He knows Jessica believes that she loves him, but he knows better. It's not love; it's her need of security, of feeling not alone.


He knows how loosing a family can be, he has had his share when his parent’s got a divorce. He was so alone, so lost, and how he hated the world that time. How he never felt at home and so at ease with someone, until he met Jessica. How his heart breaks at that thought...The thought that she doesn't love him when he feels so strongly for her, when he knows she's his world, when he wants to gives her his all.


"I love you...." He hears her say that again in her shaky whisper, and knows she's been crying. How he hates it when she cries.
"You don't know that..." Nick shakes his head again, stopping Jessica from denying his claim. "You're so young...You're..." He broke off.


Nick tries to let her see what he finally sees. This is not love for her, she can't be...in love...she's still too young to understand love, life, and she still has her whole future in front of her. A future he knows will be ruin if he's in there. Her mother has told him about that Harvard dream, how Jessica always wants to go there, of her dreams for the society, her noble goal to give her best to everyone.


But there is this part of him that wants to believe that her love is true, that her love is real. That same part, as much as it wants her to stay with him despite all her lies, can't let her, cause that will just end her dream. He would never able to give her the world she's always dream of, he's still
scratching in the bottom, just starting his life, his dream, a life and dreams, that until few hours ago he wanted to share with her.


But having her in his life as beautiful that is can not happen because that would just kill all her dreams for her future. That Harvard dreams....a young doctor barely keeping his own office from eviction, will not able to provide her a Harvard education along with all the life her parents and families have to offer, a life she so deserves, a life she's been having all
along.


And there's this other part that is sick of all her lies, wanting to get out fast. A part that's always shown to the world... The part that's always afraid of love, that’s just been cast aside in the time with Jessica. He let
those parts of him fade away, but now, knowing everything, his defenses come to a whole new level. His fear of being left by people he loves, how that's always true.


He doesn't want her to leave him, but deep in his heart he knows she would...so why prolong it....she has to leave...he has to push her away...she can't be with him more because then he wouldn't know how to let her go...he doesn't even know how he can let her go now...let alone...


"You're so young...." Nick repeats again.


Jessica is sick of being regarded too young, she knows her feelings, and she hates the fact that not even Nick believes in her, he doubts her, doubts that she even knows her own feeling.


"So?" She asks snidely, letting go of his hand, moving away from him, her defense up.
"So…? Jessica...I can't believe this." Nick shakes his head, anger takes hold.
"What? You regret being with me? I may be young, but I know what I'm feeling, I'm sure of it, and I'm not afraid to admit it to you, I love you, and I want to be with you!" Jessica tries to reach him again, looking at his harden composure, knowing they won't resolve this with anger, but she just wants him to believe her, DAMN IT!


"You don't know what you're talking about!"
"What?"
"Jess...You're so young...You..."
"What? Inexperienced…? That's not what you said last night."


Jessica responds bitterly, she hates the situation that they are in now, they have been so happy, and she can not believe what has happened, the last couple of weeks have been filled with happiness and laughter, and now...She knows how she has hurt him, but she wishes he would believe her...but this Nick is the Nick she first met, the cold distance Nick she was
always afraid of...


"You're not even taking it seriously."
"I am, taking it seriously...I know my feelings Nick...now, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Know what you're feeling?" Nick caught off guard with that one.
"I don't know...It's not right....You realize I could get charged, or have my medical license taken away...you're..."
"So is that what you're afraid of? That you'll loose your med card "


"I'm not afraid...I love you...but it's not right...And I don't think that you really know what you're feeling right now, maybe it's just..." A pause… "Its love for me Jess, It's real...but I don't think it is for you...you're too young to..."


"Oh please..." Jessica cuts him off, sick of having him telling her of how young she is, sick of having him have doubts about her, sick of having him not believing in her, but Nick's anger gets the better of him.


"What oh please....you lied to me...all those stories you shared...I don't even know which one is true...and ME what is me for you?....You know what I think? I think all of that are lies...you don't love me...you
never did...all you care about is how to forget about your problems...how to runaway from it...or...or maybe how you can take revenge to your family...and why not...they know about this? They'll go ballistic...which is EXACTLY what you want..." Nick stops taking a breath. "I'm just your...OH HELL...I don't even know what I am to you..." He trailed off, stopping his rant, noticing the forlorn look of Jessica now, standing just few feet in front of him.


"Is that really what you think" Jessica not really registering all his words, voicing the question gnawing in her mind all this time…slowly. There is a full two minutes of silence before Nick answers her.
"Truth…?” He looks at her, bracing himself to give her his truth.
"Yes..." He answers in his shaky whisper. They stare at each other not uttering a word…Full of silence.


"Then I guess...there's nothing to talk about here..." She says to him bravely meeting his eyes, and breaks away before he can see how much he has hurt her. Jessica left the apartment without once looking back.
She wipes the tears streaming down her face, not wanting to appear weak, while Nick sits on his sofa, looking like and feeling like he's lost his world.

End of part 1…</span>

[littleprincessj]

<span style="font-family:Optima">Part 2


"Young Lady...where have you been??" Joe Simpson admonishes his daughter coming through the front door.
"That's none of your business." Jessica responds harshly, already sick of fighting and arguments. She's so exhausted having had the painful revelation at Nick’s, she's not ready to have another of Father-daughter talk, or lately...Father daughter arguments now, so she went straight to the stairs of the big Victorian house, taking two stairs at a time, wanting only to get to her room, FAST.


"Jessica Ann Simpson...” Joe calls her harsher this time, making Jessica stop. She knows that tone, and her father only use her full name when he's mad. She
used to be so afraid, but not anymore. She used to look up into her father, always wanting to do her best in his eyes, wanting him to be proud of her, as much as she is proud of him. And they used to be very close.


Jessica only has a sibling, a brother five years old older that already moved away from the house for college. And since the very first day she was born, has been the jewel of the family. Everybody's favorite. Especially to her father… They have mutual respect, and love. A very close relationship… But having him leave the family changed all of that. She has lost all her respect towards him. They were very close before all the things that tearing the family apart happened, but not anymore.


Jessica turns around; ready to face whatever it is he has in store for her. Fine...have all the world against her now, let them all say what they wanna say, do what they wanna do...let them all admonishes her...tell her their disappointment their disapproval...she doesn't care. Not anymore.


"What...DADDY..." Jessica voices the endearment she used to her father in a tone that leaves him even angrier.


He has come to this house, to meet his daughter, to explain all the things that has happened, to help her through what he knows is a very painful and hard time for her, but what he got was his soon to be ex wife complaining about her attitude the past few months. How Jessica spent most of her time outside, her slowly decreasing grade, her ignorance of school, her always saying and doing opposite of what her mother told her.


They have a problem in their marriage, yes; they finally take the decision to divorce. There were no arguments, at least not in front of the children, and they tried to shield their children, especially Jessica away from it. Both of them loves their children dearly, and wants their happiness only. Taking the decision to divorce took a lot of soul searching, and thinking, before finally they decided it was for the best.


They know at some level both their children will be affected by it, but are very determined that they're gonna help them through everything. Jessica's brother, Mike, was easier to deal with, can understand the reason behind the divorce and can take it well. But Jessica is a whole different matter. She took it so hard, running away from the problem, spending most of her time outside, coming home only when it's so desperately needed.


No real communication with both parents and even Mike, her brother, unless countless arguments that they had. She has turned into someone they barely recognize. But few weeks back, she has changed, almost to her usual self, only she still spend most of her time outside, even more time. Tina told her she's been out for almost three days now, not even a phone call made, making everyone worried. Her mother already called the police, and called him to come over quick, though she didn't explain first for what. So he came right after
his important meeting in Chicago, and came down to meet her.


"Where have you been?" Joe asks again slower, softer, but Jessica doesn't answer him, only moves closer, sitting on the couch in front of him, her hands fold on her chest. He noticed her pale face, her red eyes, he knew she has been crying. That's always gets to him, the protective father click on and all he ever wants is to take that miserable look away from his daughter.


"Princess....what's wrong?" He asks so gently.


Jessica's not ready for the love and affection she hears in that voice. She expected harsh treatment and more punishment. She looks up to her father's eyes, and that's her last straw. She has wanted to cry her eyes out ever since she left Nick's house. Feeling her world crumble, leaving her so mellow. But she was so determine not to let herself cry...she hates it when she cries....


But now, looking into those eyes, her father’s eyes, the eyes she always look for comfort from, she just can't help it.
"Everything..." She says, and chokes out; finally letting a sob comes out.” “Princess...." Her father comes to her and holds her, while she let go of all her tears, crying over all the things she has been running away from and all the things that has happened to her.


******


"Morning...." Lea greets her boss/brother in-law and friend sweetly
that morning. Nick only nods his head weakly at her, going to his office, not even looking her way. Lea is so confused by the change of mood Nick has. Just yesterday he had been so happy and even shared with her the reason behind all his happiness, that jubilant look. But now....is a complete opposite of that....almost like he has lost everything.


Lea decides that if she wants to get the truth, she just has to ask him, beside it's not like she's prying or anything, Nick would tell her eventually, so why not make him say it, sooner. Most of all, she wants to help him, the overprotective side of her longs to be able to help her friend who's obviously in need.


She knocks the door of Nick's office before getting inside not even bother to have him saying 'come in'. She notices him holding a paper in front of him, sitting on his chair, not really registering that she came in. She clears her throat making Nick jump slightly, and the paper he's holding to fall.
"God...Lea...." He picks up the paper, and sighs.
"You seem like you have a lot on your mind.” Lea reads him well.


Nick just looks at her, still thinking whether he's gonna tell her or not about all that has happened. He really needs someone to talk to, and Lea is the only person he's able to do that, unless of course Jessica...but that's over now. He shudders a bit remembering their fight last night, how she left him, not even remembering to get her coat, he makes a mental note to bring it back to her somehow, he just can't have anything that will remind him of her, that would be too painful.


"Nick..." Lea's voice gets him back from his train of thought. Lea notices that Nick is not in the room, his mind so far away.
“Nick, what happened?" Lea takes a step closer, standing in front of his desks. She repeats the question when it seems that Nick doesn't even want to respond.



"She's gone..." Nick tells her shortly, not even realizing he has said the words; surprise him by the feeling and emotions behind those words, making Lea even more confused.
"Who's gone?" There was a very long pause before finally Nick answers her.


"Jessica...." Nick looks up, and Lea can see the dark circle around his eyes, the red eyes, his pale sorrowful face and dejected postures.


"What happened?" Lea moves closer, knowing that it would take super human efforts to get Nick to talk.
"Nothing...she just....gone..." Nick says again, feeling his heart break again, for how many times, he doesn't even know. All memories leading to Jessica just make him in pain.
"Nick...." Lea tries to soothe him, but Nick shakes his head.


"Please...don't....I'm okay....It's just...I'll be okay..." He has tried to convince him about that also the whole night. But then he needs to have a drink, and notice all the groceries that she had bought, her preparation for their dinner, and he had to force himself to again, try to forget her. But how, when each corner of that apartment, of that place, just reminding him of her… Even in this office, where she never has been before, he still sees her everywhere.


"Nick...." Lea tries again, but Nick puts his hand up stopping her, determine to avoid that issue, at least for now, all his emotions are still too raw.
"There's a lot of work to do...let's just not talk about that..." He starts to open another file in front of him. Lea looks at him for awhile before walking outside, stopping on the door only because he calls her back.


"Lea...Please make another arrangement with Mrs. Simpson..." A pause as Nick, again, brought back to his memories. "I have too meet her again..." He looks down again refusing to look at the comp[arse]ionate gaze of his friend.


******


Jessica moves down the stair of her house only to be greeted by both her parents coming in from outside.
"Morning Princess...how'd you sleep last night?"
"Fine, Dad." Jessica comes down to her father, giving him and her mother a good morning kiss. Last night had resolved their problem. True...she hasn't told them about Nick, and she doesn't have the plan to...at least not in the near future, but they have resolved everything else, being a family again, though it would be different this time. She finally understands the reason behind the divorce, and finally able to take it well. Forgiving both her parents, and vice versa.


"Your brother's coming today..." Her mom informs her.
"Really…?" Jessica smiles her first real smile that day over the idea.
"He called yesterday, right after you went to be...he had some free time...so he'll come...hmmmm..." Tina looks at her watch..." in an hour...so if you wanna go with us and pick him up from the airport, you better get ready."


Jessica doesn't need to be told twice, runs up the stairs to change.
"Jessica..." her mother calls to her; Jessica turns around only to have her mom say... "We'll wait in the dining room for breakfast..."
"OKAY, I'm coming!!!!" She answers enthusiastically, and running upstairs, so happy to see her brother again after a long time. He had been so busy with college, that he didn't have time to visit her here; only phone calls once in a while still connect them.


Tina smiles after her, looking at the daughter she once knew the daughter she has missed. There's still a twinge of sadness though in Jessica's eyes she still
recognizes, behind all those mask of happiness. She just wishes Mike can take that away. He always seems to have a way with her. They have this bond, so strong, make them know if the other through something. She hadn't told Mike about his sister's attitude, afraid it will distract him from his lectures, but she guessed he had felt it, and now, come to her aid. She just wishes all will turn out OKAY.


******


"I want to meet this Nicholas Lachey..." Mike breaks the silence. They are sitting on their favorite place, by the pond, under the big oak tree, behind their house, each engross in their own mind. Jessica has told him everything, crying while she did, hearing his comforting words of 'all will be okay', before calming down, and both fell to silence.
"And do what?"
"Kick his [arse]..."


"Mike...." Jessica smiles, loving the feeling her brother always brought for her, so comfortable, so at ease, so ...great.
"What? Princess...he's a jerk..."
"No he's not...haven't you listen to a word I said? He's a great man...the best man I've ever met..." Jessica shakes her head sadly. "It’s me, Mike...I'm the one to blame here, and I lied to him, I....It's me..." Jessica trails off. And they are silence again. A long silence, each just engrossed in their own thoughts, seemingly looking at the beautiful scenery in front of them, but their mind is so far away.


Mike is so surprised of what Jessica has told him, everything is so absolutely shocking. His first instinct was to go meet this Nick Lachey, give him something he deserves, his wrath; he had thought what kind of a bastard treats her like that. But giving some more time to think things through, to understand
their conditions, he understands why Nick is doing what he is doing, why he did what he did. He can't imagine if he were in his shoe, loving a woman so deeply, only to find out she has been lying all along. How betrayed he must have felt, how that would have hurt.


He can understand his actions, both ways seems so bad. He can just imagine all the problems they would face should they go on with their relationship. From all Jessica's stories, he knows, Nick is a good man, a man so tied up in social rules, his church, a bit of a religious man, that just can not tolerate some violation towards the moral rules. But his noble dreams for his job, his principles of life, makes him a man so complicated yet so great, making him understand his sister's obvious infatuation.


Mike knows; when it comes to love and relationship, Jessica is so serious, never consider one as just a game. Even on her young age, he believes that her sister knows what's she's feeling, understand as well, why she did all the things she has done. When she loves someone, she will give, her all, that's without a doubt. Though never until now, he sees her like this, so in love. Of course, there were some crushes, but not this serious. Her fear of commitment especially lately when the one example she holds for a perfect love and commitment, their parents, comes to an end. All of that has broken her already vulnerable believes in love.


"You love him..." Mike says slowly, seriously.
"Yes..." A long pause "I love him..." A tear sliding down her face as she makes her admission wholeheartedly.
"From what I heard...he loves you too..." Nick looks at her, gauging her expression.
"That's what he told me...at least until before..." Jessica looks away from her brother's imploring eyes, wiping her tears, not wanting to cry again.


Mike tilts her head so that she has no choice but to look at him, but still she refuse to meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Princess..."
"For what…? It's not your..."
"For not being there for you..."
"That's..."
"I'm sorry....I promised you before I went for college I would come whenever you need me, I would be there for you whenever..." He stops a while before continuing. "I didn't keep it..."


Jessica looks down, before looks up again into her brother's eyes.
"You couldn't have known...I didn't tell anyone..."
"I should have known...."
"It's over now..." Jessica broke off remembering Nick's dejected postures, sitting there on his sofa, rubbing his face. "He won't forgive me...."


"And not just Nick...Princess...all the things with Mom and Dad, i didn't know you took it so hard, I should have..." Jessica cuts him off, placing her finger to his lips.
"Mike...please...no should have...I'm better now, that you're here, and i can share all of this with you..." Jessica pauses a while. "I'll be okay...I promise...it will just take time...but I'll be okay." How she hopes that's true.


Mike looks into her eyes, no longer seeing that lost little girl he saw since yesterday when he met her, but seeing in her now, a determined woman.

"Yeah...you will..." Mike puts his arm around her, giving her strength by his actions, promising silently that now; he would be there for her, each and every step, all the way.


It was a while before Mike asks the question swirling
on his mind.
"Jessica...if he...if he comes to you again...asks you to be with him....would you...?"Jessica notices her brother worries there, he never calls her by name, unless he's mad or serious about something, and how he hesitantly asks the question, he must have thought about that for a while.
"I honestly don't know...That would be so great... so wonderful... but if Mom or Dad finds out... it would be a disaster...I don't now what length Dad would do to him..." They fell to silence again, before again, Mike breaks it.


"Dad will do more than just kick his [arse] I believe..." Mike responds playfully, making Jessica smile, despite all her pain.
"Yeah..." She lets out a small laugh, thinking over what his father would have done, kicking Nick's [arse] would be the least of it.


"So how old is he again???" Mike asks, looking down at her, smiling as he does, making Jessica aware that he's teasing her.
"Mike..."
"I mean...come on...28??? I knew you were always fond of older man, but the guy is even way older than me...does he have wrinkles and God Forbid white hair?" Mike teases her again, wanting that sorrow look upon her face to go away.


"Mike..."
"Oh I get it; it's probably that thing they say..."
"What thing?" Jessica asks totally curious. What's up his sleeves now? Mike just shakes his head, mouthing 'doctors' chuckling as he does so, making Jessica feel even more aggravated. Her playful swats can't stop him, only makes him laugh even louder, forcing her to start laughing too. She knows one true thing that will never change, Mike will always able to make her days better.


******


It was after the sunset that they finally decide to go back to the house, knowing their Mom would be more than a little angry if they are late for dinner. Their father has stayed with them, feeling like the whole family is just like before, only it's not the same. Their parents still want to follow through with the divorce plan.


Jessica and Mike are still laughing over one of Mike's story over his roommate's antiques when they reach their house, not really noticing their parents and a guest sitting on the living room.


"Mike...Jessica...come here for a while...I'd like you to meet someone..."
Mike looks at Lindsay quizzically, taking her hand leading her to the living room, meeting their mother's call.


Jessica felt the world stops as she recognize the person sitting with both her parents. She feels her brother leading her, and that's the only reason she keeps moving. Everything is still so raw, so new, so fresh, she's afraid she can't hold it in. She keeps her eyes away from his, though feeling him watching her every move.


Nick has heard the familiar laughter, knowing he had it all coming. He had come here with the intention of recusing himself from the case, only to have Mrs. And Mr. Simpson telling him they are going to finalize the divorce immediately, nicely, no arguments, and no fight. They seem to have figured everything out, deciding to end everything on a friendly term which meant she needed her surgery almost immediately… He had no choice but saying yes. But hearing that voice, he wished he had said no, and had gone....but it's too late.


"Mike...Jessica...meet my doctor....Nick Lachey..., Nick... our son and daughter, Mike and Jessica..."


Mike extends his hand, studying the man thoroughly. Taking a good look at the man who has captured his sister's heart. From what he heard from Jessica, he's a good man, and he is looking forward to know him more.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Lachey..."
"Nick...please...and likewise..."

Jessica looks at him for the first time after their fight two days ago. She notices his five o'clock shadow, the dark circles around his eyes, and his slightly shaky voice. Thinking how he looks so much older than before. She can't really make a gesture towards him, waiting for him to start. But they just stare at each other, before Mike, noticing their detached stage, makes the introduction, saving them from the staring of soon to be curious parents.


"This is my sister Jessica..."
"Hi...” Jessica finally able to speak, extending her hands, which he takes briefly, sending back all the memories and emotions she tries to hold back. Nick too overwhelmed to speak, nods his head in a polite hello.


Seeing her again, hearing her laughter, he felt different kinds of emotions in him. He had been relieved first, knowing she's happy, and okay, hurt a little that she's not as miserable as he is. But looking into her eyes now, noticing a hint of sadness and her sudden change of mood when she sees him while walking back to this room, he knows she's as hurt as he knows she's also in pain, and he wants that to go away for her.


"Nick...now that you've met the family you have to stay for dinner."
"I'd love to Mrs. Simpson but..."
"No buts, it's late...I don't think you have an appointment...just stay here a while..."
"I…"
"I'll take that as a yes." Tina smiles at him, and continues. " Now, I'll get the dinner ready, and you can have Mike or Jessica here to take you around, it's quite a view here, at this time of day, trust me." Tina smiles and excuses herself, followed soon by Mr. Simpson, and Jessica, leaving the two young men alone in the living room.


"Sorry about my mom, she's just always like that..."
"It's okay..."
"You don't have any important things to do tonight? Cause if you do I could just..."
"No...Nothing that couldn't wait..."
"In that case lets take a walk outside...we usually start dinner at 8, and it's still about an hour before…and I don't know how long my mom will take on make up today so..." Mike jokes, getting a small smile in respond.


They walk through the path towards the end of the garden. They can see the city of Waco from there, very beautiful in the night, with the lights coming from each corner of the city. They are silent as Nick too caught up in his own thoughts, while Mike studies him even more.


"Jessica told me..." Mike breaks the silence. Nick looks towards him preparing too see contempt and contrition there only to see concern clearly shown on the younger man's face. Seeing in him a worry protective big brother… He tries to say something but the words fail him, and he can't even think of what's to say.


What to say to a brother of the woman your madly in love with, who you just found out is lying to you all the time, add to the fact she's sixteen...all the emotions are still too raw...Thankfully though Mike beats him, breaking the silence, still looking deep in to his eyes, saying the things he wants to say with conviction.


"I will support Jessica whatever her decisions are, whichever way she chooses, I'll be there for her all the way...no matter what..." He pause a while, still looking into Nick's eyes. "I believe in her...and I believe in her judgment..."


Mike looks at the guy standing in front of him, seeing the playing of emotions there, not all he could describe. He means the words he says. Whatever it is that Jessica will do, he will be right behind her, supporting her, be her shoulder when she wants to cry, be her rocks when she's about to crumble.


He believes in her, implicitly. Knowing her like he does, he knows full well that Jessica has the ability to determine which is right for her and which isn't. He's worried about her...that's without a doubt. But he does believe that Jessica is mature enough, strong enough, and most importantly, knows what she's doing. There were so many things happened to her, that has made her the woman she is now, seeing life way more mature than her age.


Nick hears sincerity in Mike’s words, looking at him; he knows he meant every word of it. Knowing too, that he had given him a blessing… But there are still a lot of things to consider…things to think over...


The last two days, after their fight, Nick has been doing a lot of soul searching. Trying to understand and figure out everything. His feeling...it's out of the question, he knows he loves Jessica…that she's his everything, even more so, knowing the things that she has done. Yes, she had lied to him, but knowing she did that only for them to have a chance to be together. She's not fully to blame.


He still has his doubt too though, afraid that in letting this 16 year old girl, that has become such an important part of his life, to continue to have relationship with him, afraid that her feelings are not real, afraid that someday, she would end up regretting it, finding herself in a place she had put herself in. He can't even imagine the pain he would feel should that happened, if she finally realizes, he's not 'the one'. Even more so, if she finds that other person, her real soul mate and love.


Despite his pain and feeling of being betrayal now, he understands why Jessica did what she did. A feeling of loneliness, of wanting to feel loved and wanted, and what she believes as love, has driven her to it.


Nick looks at Mike again, looking into that pair of brown eyes that match his sister's, bringing back all the memories of them together. How he loves her.


But as much as he loves Jessica, as much as he wants to believe in her love for him too, he too knows there would be a lot of things a lot of barriers on their way if they decided to be together. And as much as he's sure he'd be able to face everything with her by his side, he still thinks it's the best for her not to. That she's better off without him. Being with her family today, getting to know them more, he realize how loved she is by them. He knows they'll take care of her well; they'll make sure she'll be okay. He'll let her go, for what he thinks is the best for her, she'll get all that she deserves.


"Just..." A long pause… "Just take care of her..." Nick finally says after a long silence enveloping them. Mike looks at him, and smiles. Knowing her sister had made the right judgment, he is a great guy. He just doesn't know if Nick has made the best choice here, if it's the right thing to do. He had made his offer, and he has let him know where he stands should they follow their heart.


"I will...I promise..." Mike extends his hand; he is taken aback with the strength of emotions he feels from Nick's hand, and through his eyes. The pain, all too raw and fresh, the same expression he saw on his sister's face when she told him everything today. But what he sees most is love. He sees it so clearly there in that two pools of blue.


"I'll take care of her..." He feels the need to make Nick sure that he will follow through with his promise. And how he promises to himself he would.


"Now, I think we should get back...before my Mom starts worrying..."

Nick takes a look at his watch noticing the time; he didn't realize that he had been out that long. He soon follows Mike walking back towards the house, no words spoken.


*******


Few weeks after

"She's sixteen, Lea....sixteen....And never...never...have I thought of that..." A pause as he shakes his head. "I just believed her....I bought it all, hook, line and sinker...all her stories, everything that she did...I'm just so stupid..." Nick rubs his face again, elbows on his knees.


Lea listening to her friend's stories, her initial reactions was to kick Nick's [arse], swat him to bruises, either that or to get him eyegl[arse]es, thinking how stupid he could be not knowing the differences between a woman and a teenage girl, a kid. But listening to his story more, understanding now, how everything goes, she knows he's not to blame here, he's a victim.


But Jessica is not the villain here as well; fate has played with them, making them fall in love, only to have it shred apart. Jessica’s as hurt as Nick that one she can tell. Hearing how Jessica treated him, understanding how deep her love goes, ready to give up everything, to leave her world, to be with the man she loved.


She knows Nick needs some advice, some consoling. But she's as clueless as he is on this. Her moral side thinking that Nick has made the right choice, knowing this love could get them all to troubles. But the romantic side of her, in her heart, she just wants Nick to fight for his love, for his happiness, knowing this kind of love, only happens once in a life time, if their lucky enough. The battle never seems to end.


"People do stupid things when they're in love, Nick...." Lea is finally able to say.

"Tell me about it." Nick responds sarcastically, now half lying on the chair, looking up to the ceiling.


"I won't normally say this, Nick...she is young...sixteen...is..." Lea says after a long while, taking a deep breath before starting again, she can not believe she's doing what she's doing, and she doesn't even know why, but, she has to let him see, what she has seen all along.


"But Nick, if you do love her the way you do, you have to fight for her...if you don't believe that she loves you...that she knows what her feelings are...do something to make yourself believe in that...cause from what you've told me...she loves you, Nick...it's not some puppy love like you think it is...she really does love you...." Lea continues when she gets no respond. "She makes you happy...whole...and completes...you won't get that kind of love so easy...what you both had...you're so lucky..."


"What we had based on lies..." Nick answers bitterly.
"Nick, if she had told you the truth...there wouldn't be you and her...and you know it....so what if she didn't tell you her real age, or her families.... she shared with you a whole lot more than that...she shared herself....her soul...her dreams...."

"Lea...Please..." Nick pleads as all that Lea has said just brings back again all of his thoughts, the thoughts he's been pushing away, afraid that if they come again, he would be weak, and couldn't stay strong with his decision.

"She helps you to find yourself, and I believe you have helped her to....She completes you...."
"Lea....."
"Nick...you love her...she loves you...now get her back, fight for her, fight for you and her together...so what if she's sixteen...AGE are just NUMBERS..."


There was silence as Nick contemplating what Lea has said. He knows she's right. He'd been thinking about nothing other than that lately. If he had known the truth from the start, there would be no chance for them. And now, having had the chance to know her, to be with her, to know what true happiness is, he wants that back, he wants her back. Thinking back over all
the things that they'd been through all the things that she had done for him, he knows she had feeling for him, he even starting to believe that she really does love him.


All those times when she had listened to all his problems, those times when they shared their everything. Every smile, every loving gaze she bestowed, each touch that gives warmth through his heart, left him yearn for more, he knows, and how he missed that...even now, weeks after. How he still longs for her, even more so with each second goes by. How he still reach out for her side of the bed only to find it empty. The memories of her; of their short time together, accompanying everywhere he goes.


Lea wishes Nick will do what is right for him. It's probably not the right thing in the eyes of the world, but it will make him whole, happy, and complete, and that's all that matter. She wants him to act for his own happiness, consequences be damn, and they’ll find the way to face everything, to fight the world if needed, some how.


She knows telling him to go after Jessica is probably not the best idea, a sixteen years old girl, from a well respected family, she cant imagine what will happen if people know. Nick has already had his share of being people's topic of conversation especially in medical community. His zealous, controversial strategies, and questionable tactics in saving his patients from life or death, his motto of 'anything to get the save this human being' has given him more snide remarks and negative responds rather than respect. Add to that, them knowing he had been seeing a sixteen years old...it would be MUTINY.


But seeing his grumpy, sad mood, the way he's loosing himself and his hopes altogether, how he immersed himself in work, compared too few weeks ago when he was so happy and carefree, and just so in love, she knows she has to do it. And whatever will happen she will help him through it.


"There would be too many problems....her parents...if they know they can put me in jail... people....what will they think of us...and..."
"It's up to you....my advice...follow your heart...love conquers everything...."
"She won't be happy with me..."
"Nick..."
"I can't give her everything she deserves...all the things she wants...." Nick trails off.


"You know? She wants to go to Harvard..." He shakes his head. "She wants to help people ...she wants to do a lot of things that she won't be able to do if she had stayed with me..." Lea is finally able to see the real reason behind his entire demeanor. He is so different when he gets to personal stuff, not really that determined, nothing gets in my way Nick, but more the cautious, hesitant Nick, not letting him to just go for happiness. He has given up on Jessica, thinking that she would be better off without him.


"What can I give her Lea...?I can't even give her a decent living...let alone...."


"So that's the real reason you wanted her to leave?" There is a long pause before Nick looks up at her and answers.
"It's for the best..." A pause….” I know what I'm doing Lea, It's for the best..."
"I think you need to define what the best is all over again, Nick...or you would end up regretting it the rest of your life." And with that Lea leaves the
office, leaving Nick alone with his thoughts.



End of part two</span>

[littleprincessj]

<span style="font-family:Optima">Part three



" Miss Jessica, someone's here for you."


Jessica looks up from the book she's reading, sitting with the stamps of pillow to support her. Lately, she's been spending most of her time alone, needing space from everyone, becoming someone, so different than she used to, not the witty, enjoying life immensely Jessica, but to the sedate, serious Jessica. Putting her times in her study and school, retracting from school activities she so used to join, unless it's important for her application letter to college. Her hockey team is one of them, one of the least activities she still join and enjoy.


"Who is it?"

"I'm sorry, Miss, she didn't tell me her name."

"Okay...Thanks, Anne; I'll be down in a minute."

"She's waiting in the living room. Excuse me, Miss"


Jessica nods and looks at her maid, leaving her room, but not before bending down a little in a polite manner. Wondering who visits her. She puts down her book, and walks down the hall. Not a lot of her friends like to visit her here, mostly because they are reluctant to face all the manner and politeness here, or they are just too shy or afraid, thinking that she's just a rich snob, who doesn't want to get involved with people.


Jessica doesn't have a lot of friends. It seems like being rich, smart, and beautiful all at once, is not a guarantee of having a lot of good friends. Most of her friends befriended her either because of her wealth, her brain or her looks, not a lot that look at her as just Jessica. The Jessica that has also a lot of quirks and weaknesses, and sometimes just wants to be herself too and not just this perfect girl everyone thinks she is.


That's one of the reasons why her relationship with Nick was something she really appreciated and thankful for. In that short time they had shared together, he had showed her that she is precious enough to be loved, that she can gain someone's love and affection. That not all people just think of her like a Barbie doll, in a fantasy world, not always treating her like gl[arse], caving to all her needs and wants, that she's real…and she's human. Appreciate, respect, and most of all love her for who she really is, behind all those attributes and masks. Loving her for who she is inside. How she missed those times.


Jessica's tendency of being closed off, and her stubbornness has caused some of the friendships that she has had in the past comes to end. Her fear of relationship, of love has caused her even more lost friends.


Some guys that once become an important part of her life, sharing their days with her under the terms friendship, drifted apart when they somehow show signs of something more than platonic love. A young woman, too afraid to fall, too fragile to let herself be in love, closing off her heart, not wanting people to get in, waiting for the one man who will finally break through.


She's so afraid to let people in to her life, having the experience of loosing them. The death of some people she holds so dearly in her hearts, makes her know how hard it is to loose someone you really care about. Watching, as life slowly fades away from your loved one...slowly...painfully...


Also the heartache she once had of being betrayed by someone she so believe was her best friend, not long ago, having her saying all the things that even until now, still stings at her heart. Hearing her saying how she's so sick of being compared to her, and how she always lost. How each day she has to face the reality that everybody loves Jessica more, how in every field, every thing they do, she’ll always be number one, How their friendship...the only friendship Jessica cares for so deeply...drift apart...Having her stolen the one person, she thought was her love, and her best friend too, feeling like being stab in the back, though finally she realized he's not 'the one'...


And the painful things with her parents, when out of the blue, they told her they want to get a divorce... When her father, someone she so respects, so loves, and so close to, left the house, making her feels like she was left, alone, frighteningly alone... Asking almost everyday, what she had done wrong, to cause him to go away, thinking it was partly her fault... She was so hurt, and again... betrayed... the only security she had at that moment, the only thing she's sure would last through everything.... had come to an end...


Her already fragile belief in love, relationship, and commitment, her love of life and what it offers, was at all time low...


But when she met Nick, she knew she finally found that person, she found 'the one'. Being with him proves to her, there's nothing to be afraid of. She can be herself, she's sure of herself, and more over, she's sure of Nick and their feelings.


So she let herself to feel real love with Nick, bask in the happiness, enjoying every time with him, realizing it was just useless to fight those feelings when they were too strong, and she let herself to fall...Though knowing one day it could end, once Nick knew that she's been lying to him, there would be troubles on their way, but she had hoped that their love was stronger than that, that they would last through anything, she never thought that she'd be wrong...


Her doubts in love and relationship after her experience were clouded by her feeling. She didn't do her usual tendency to run, every time there's someone trying to approach, when someone's knocking the door of her heart, trying to be a part of her life...She let Nick in, and she let him be apart of her life,...and how that backfired at her. How hurt and painful the separation. And the worst thing, she hurt Nick too.


She still remembers his face that night when he knew the truth, so clearly....his whole dejected demeanor...the pain so clearly shown on his face...how she wishes she’d never see those things....hoping to only to see his smile and the eyes that shines with happiness...those times when they were together and happy, nothing to really think about, only then and there...their feelings of being together and the miracle of sharing their love....How she misses those times, always remembering them, having them accompanying her everywhere she goes...


The woman stands up when Jessica enters the room, and sits back when and only after being told to. Both of them study each other while the maid asks what they want to drink.


"I'll have tea please, what about you....Ms..."
"Dellecave…Lea Dellecave....I'd love to have tea too."
"Nice to meet you Ms Dellecave..." Jessica shakes her hand, trying to remember where she had heard that sounds to be so familiar name. "I'm sorry...but have we met somewhere...or..." She tilts her head to the side, quizzically.
" I'm Nick's secretary." There was a long pause there. Jessica is shocked, seeing her there, wondering the reason too. The maid comes with their drinks, breaking the silence, offering the drink; Jessica takes a sip of her tea.


"He...he told me so much about you...so..." Jessica says after getting a hold of
herself.


"He told me about you too."


Jessica looks up to a smile. The woman seems nice and from what Nick had told her, she IS very kind. Someone you can really trust. Her curly hair, cut in a short one, making her looks mature, and more professional, and her formal outfit, she must have been just coming home from work. The smile forming in her lips, the warmth and comfort that that smile brings. Yes, she is a nice woman.


Lea also studies Jessica, understanding the physical attraction in an instance. When she walks to the room... Her elegant way of bringing herself, when walking, sitting, talking, simply, every bit of her. Those deep hazel eyes, her beautiful face, that wonderful golden brown hair, everything about her is just beautiful. She gets what it takes to make men bending on their knees.


She also recognizes the sadness in her eyes, behind all those smiles, knowing too another person also having the exact same thing.


"Oh....I see..."


"Actually that's one of the reasons why I came here." Jessica looks up at her instantly.


"Did Nick send you here?" Her heart skips a beat with the thought. She looks up hopefully.


Maybe he has changed his mind...how many times has she pictured those thoughts in her head...so many different scenarios...so many alternatives...picturing Nick coming to see her, or phone her, or trying to contact her....picturing him saying he forgives her, he loves her, still, and that he wants to fight for a 'them' doesn't care what the world will think and that they will face whatever it is on their way, together...wanting so much for those to happen...having those thoughts so clearly visional that she really felt those are real, only to have her hopes crashed when she found those are just in her dreams... purely her imagination... Waking up in the middle of the night, crying for the loss of one love she believed is her true love, her only real love, knowing that love has come to an end...


"No." Lea sees her face falls after just being light up moments ago. Another reason to like this woman, to believe her love, and to understand everything.


"He...I talked to him, believe me I did...but Nick...he..." A pause… "He has made up his mind..." Lea offers lamely.


She recalls all the times she has sat Nick down, trying to get him to listen, how each times comes in vain. Talking about Nick being stubborn, nothing will get him to change. Seeing him coping in his own way, all on his own, each day, seeing those blue eyes clouded with sadness and despair, makes her doing all the talks.


"Yeah..." Jessica whispers.


Her mind goes back to a time, not too long ago, when she last met Nick. A dinner she won't forget. How awkward that had been, how strange, how ... hard....


Thank God she had Mike with her that time; she wouldn't know how to survive otherwise. Her swirling emotions, all the pain, the heartache, the guilt… Her parents could have noticed all the tension and emotions in the room if Mike hadn't been doing most of the talking, leading them all in small conversations. Sharing all his stories of life in college, and his youth years... She had stolen some glances to Nick's way only to find out he had done the same, while adding his two cents in the conversation.


How then, quickly he would look away, not wanting to look in her directions again, how she wanted to cry right then and there, so hurt by his actions...he hadn't forgiven her...he hates her...


And their short time together afterwards, when she was
forced 'not really literally' to show him the way out.
The silence enveloping them, her plead of being
forgiven, her saying sorry for she had lost count how
many times, only to have him seeing her, with that
eyes full of pain and hurt, and she had to move her
eyes away, couldn't stand to see what she had caused.


How she reached out to his hand only to have it shoved away...the pain, the hurt of being rejected, but knowing too, he's entitled to do what he had done...she deserves all the pain... all the emotions...


So they were separated, not even decently saying goodbyes. She still remembers the tears pouring out from her as she stood outside of her house that night, alone, on that cold night, watching his car slowly fade away. Loosing all her hope of them to ever be together...


Lea seeing all the emotions playing in her face, giving her times to relish all those feelings. Knowing, she would come out on her own, when she's ready.


"What's your other reason?" Jessica looks at Lea again, asks bluntly, her thoughts back to the present.


"I want to see and know you..." Lea smiles at her giving her comfort... Jessica smiles in return; she really does like this woman.


"Why don't we take a walk, there is this beautiful place behind the house..."


Jessica suggests to which Lea agrees. Lea follows Jessica out of the living room, towards the back yard. They walk through a hall full of paintings and family pictures, some of those are of Jessica's from all of her milestone...the happy smiling faces...They continue to walk side by side in silence, each still relishing the feeling...


"So what has Nick told you..." Jessica starts when they are seated on a bench in the back garden.


"Pretty much everything…"


"How is he?" Jessica didn't even realize she has voiced the question, she has wanted to ask that question since the first time she knew who the woman was, and surprised herself she had voiced that question out loud.


Lea looks at her, seeing concern, and she would have sworn, love there. Trying to find the answer...


"He's....he's rattled..." Lea continues. "You hurt him pretty badly." Despite the sound to be hurtful words, Lea doesn't have any bad intention in saying them. Only stating the truth both of them have known.


"I didn't mean to..." Jessica shakes her head, a tear sliding her down her face as she imagined what Nick's going through, how she had hurt him...


"I know, Jessica, and you don't owe me any explanation...." A long pause... " I understand."


"You do?" Jessica looks at her hopefully.


Lea sees the hopeful look, the expectant look, as if Jessica's trying to find validation over her actions. As much as she thinks that what Jessica did was morally wrong, how she always thinks a sixteen year old can not just have a relationship with an older man, 10 years older, without her parents knowing, and even more so, without telling to the man her real self, but seeing her, knowing her more, understanding her position and situation, she can understand the reason behind all Jessica's actions.


Furthermore, she respected her, a young girl, fighting for what she believes is her love, going through the length that she had been through. It took a lot of strength though it gains her and the man she loves a lot of heartache, but still she fought. People do stupid things when they're in love, she once told Nick, how that true.


Lea looks deep into Jessica's eyes, when she tells
her the answer.


"Yes, I do....he's hurt, but I think he finally understands why you did that..."


"He told you that?" Jessica's heart jumps hearing the expected words.


"Not in that exact words...but I have the impression he forgave you for everything that has happened...but to..." Lea can't continue her words, afraid that in doing so she would hurt Jessica more. She knows full well Nick has finally understood and forgives Jessica, even contemplating the idea of being together again. But all his fears, all his protective feelings hinder him. Thinking the best way is to let her go, he did just that. Not even attempting to meet her, or to talk it out, afraid that in doing so, he would change his mind.


"I understand..."


Jessica looks away. She's a bit relieved knowing Nick has understood. She was so afraid he won't. And how she wants him to understand and forgive her, simply because she wants the best for him. That would be the first step to heal. But she knows too, that for them to be together there would be even more thought that Nick will put into. The way he’s always trying to protect her, to do the best for her, what he thinks is the best anyway...if only he knows...the best for her is to be with him....


Jessica shakes her head, urging those thoughts to go away, not realizing a single tear sliding down her face again until she hears Lea say.


"And I can see you're hurt too..." The comp[arse]ionate side of her kicks in, seeing the pain in her eyes, the tear sliding down her face. "How are you holding up?"


Jessica is a bit surprise with the question and even more so with the sincerity and the concern behind those words.


"I'm holding up....I...I'll be okay..."


She smiles a small smile, Lea nods in response, knowing the reality. It's still a long way to heal, a lot of heartache and pain. She had witnessed another person, dealing with the exact same thing every single day. Another person also having been shred from love, his love. That sorrow she always notices, even when he smiles, and now, she sees the same expression. Torn, between following their head or their heart... Knowing, so many things will be on their way, but knowing too the pain in separating this way.


Lea knows it must be even harder. Loosing a loved one, is already a great agony, and loosing him/her with painful separation, giving up though knowing they still have feeling for each other, is even much harder. Knowing their stories, understanding a little of their love, she knows how hard it must have been for both of them. And as much as she disagrees with Jessica, she feels for her.


Jessica wonders when she would be okay, or rather, whether or if she would be okay. The feeling can't just go away, not when she's feeling so strong. The way she always remembers him, every little thing just reminds her of him. Each time she goes to their park, or even p[arse]ing by, their favorite restaurant and store. Even this house, her own house, holds a memory of him. Their meeting here, in the living room, their last meeting on the front yard, all are reminders of him.


But she knows she must forget him, no more looking back. It's a love, lost. She has to try.


So she immersed herself in her school, trying to achieve her dreams, going to Harvard, being a PERSON. Someone, she would be proud of, someone that everyone would be proud of. She will prove that she's not just a little girl, that she has her own mind, her own life and she knows what to do for herself and for her future.


Lea sees determination behind her words, seeing a strong woman, trying to cope with her problems and pain. Remembering the same expression on Nick she just saw that day, when he had told her everything. Seeing also that determination in his eyes, everyday since... The love, the hurt, the pain...she sees all again now, in another pair of blue eyes, belong to this beautiful woman, sitting beside her.


"He loves you Jessica...and meeting you now....I can see why..."


Jessica is too choked up to respond, no point in hiding or holding her tears now, as they slide freely on her face, when she hears the heartfelt words. Lea continues her thoughts, voicing only the truths. She
sees a glimpse of what Nick must have seen, a beautiful woman, with all her strengths and weaknesses. Her flaws, and her qualities, making a woman so complicated yet she can see, so beautiful.


"I mean my first thought when he told me and believe me it's the truth was that he's crazy and he needs eyegl[arse]es." Jessica laughed though her tears, wiping them, looking again into Lea's eyes, smiling a little.


"I mean...he told me you were sixteen and..." Lea shakes her head, when she sees Jessica looks away, seemingly hiding the tears that flowing again. That is not why she's coming here. Truth to be told, she has no idea what brought her here in the first place, beside the fact that she really wants to see her. Wants to understand everything, more…


Jessica likes this woman even more; there is this thing about her that makes her so special. She can understand now why Nick always counts her as his best friend, always respects her, and loves her. From what he has told her, and knowing the woman now herself, Jessica can see that their friendship is just so close and so beautiful. Bonding as friends, caring and supporting each other, unconditionally... How she wishes she has that kind of friendship too...


"He's so lucky to have you, Lea..."


Jessica smiles, looking at Lea. Lea is so touched with the words. She looks at Jessica carefully, studying her every move. Knowing she is a nice person. All that she has heard, all the stories, and meeting her today, knowing her a bit, has proven that her opinion is true. She also sees a woman, not a kid, not only that
sixteen year old girl, a teenage girl, but a sixteen year old, with the mind, a heart, and vision of an adult. A woman… And she likes her, Nick was right, when he said that she would love Jessica when she meets her, because she does. She's a beautiful woman, inside and out.


"He's even luckier when he had you..." Jessica smiles bitterly at that.


"I have never seen him happier, and more in love, Jessica..." Lea pauses, seeing a hint of sadness on that beautiful face. "Well...maybe that's because I've never seen him in love at all..." Jessica lets out a small laugh on that. Lea's a little relieved, she gets the exact reaction with that comments. She wants to take that sadness away.


They both fell to silence again.


"So...what are your plans now?" Lea asks after a while.


Jessica looks at her, feeling like she's talking to an old friend, knowing she can trust her fully.


"Working on my future, do the best I can in everything...I want to be useful…and benefit other people."


"That's all...no..." A pause… "What about Nick..."


Lea decides to take the plunge. If Nick won't do something about it, maybe Jessica would. She's not sure if that's the best, and she's even more surprised she even suggested the idea. It's a crazy idea, all the things they would have to go through, all the contras. But seeing them hurting, obviously, in front of her eyes, she just feels like she should do something, at least make them think of the idea, offering them her support.


"I would support Nick, no matter what..." Lea says.


Jessica looks deeply into Lea's eyes, knowing sincerity there. Honestly, the first time she met Lea, she was afraid that Lea would launch into some ranting or venting, or a whole bunch of other things, admonishing her for what she had done, for what she had caused. But all the friendship, the support there, really took her by surprise. But to be with Nick...


"It would be hard if we want to be together...."A pause… "I want to fight for him…I really do...but what's to fight when he doesn't want to be with me...when he..."


Jessica shakes her head again, the pain of being given up, of not being fought for, by her love. How she loves him, and how she wishes he would just believe in her, and fight for them to be together. But knowing Nick as she does, understanding his fear of love, his fear of not good enough for her, the way he always selflessly puts her needs on his first priority, she can understand his actions, appreciating it even, though it still hurts.


"Do you regret it?" Lea asks, breaking Jessica's train of thoughts.


"No...I don't regret it...the only thing that I regret is hurting him, the way that I had..."

His sorrowful face came to her vision, and she just has to shake her head, urging those pictures to go away. "But I never regret being with him, our times together...." She looks at Lea, smiling a bit remembering the good times. "I just wish...I just wish I didn't have to hurt him to have those times...." Jessica trails off, feeling the familiar path on her face, being wet with tears again.


"I love him, Lea, I really do...and I'm sure of my feelings...It's not some crush teenagers have and I wasn't trying to runaway from my problems when I made the decision to be with him.." Jessica stops, feeling the pain his words still caused, on their fight, that night on his apartment, a night when all her dreams had been shattered.


"And I certainly didn't do it intentionally...it's just...it just...happen...." She falters a bit on her last word.


"It wasn't easy at all, lying to him, hiding this...thing..." Jessica says with disdain, hating the fact, her age, stupid numbers that has cost her, her love.


"I... I really wanted to feel all that happiness , to cherish all the times I had with him...knowing that somehow that would end... that we would be separated... and that was so...hard..." Jessica chokes out at her last words, remembering all those feelings, all her fear and worries should Nick or someone else know... All the time, she realized she had lied to Nick, betraying him in a way; he would be so hurt for... She knew yet she still did that, only because of her love... She just wanted to be with him, and love him... in the time that was given, before it would be taken away...


"But his judgment and...I knew If he found out that would be the end...and it was so hard...I used to stay up, in the middle of the night, just watching him sleeping by my side, holding his hands, touching him, ....afraid if I let go...or I let myself to sleep....he would be gone..."


Lea takes a hold of Jessica's hand, offering her support, Jessica smiles despite her tears.


"I knew one day when he knew, he would be hurt and... I was so afraid of that day... I really wanted him to fight for us should he knows the truth...that he would just forget everything and just concentrate on us…on our love...that he love me in a way that would make him want to be with me more than anything..”


She looks down, to their joined hands.


"But if we're together....I don't know...there are a lot of things to overcome...and...I know he always wanted to do what he thinks is the best for me... "Jessica stops her sentence, feeling she's revealing too much. She just can't go through that whole emotional conversation again.


"I'm sorry, Lea…I just can't...." Jessica's a bit ashamed with all the tears, she hates to be weak, and she always thinks crying is one of them. She can't believe how much she had cried the past few months.


"It's okay, Jess....really..." Lea smiles understandingly.


They fell to a longer silence, and before they know it, its night already. The light from the city competing with the stars above, a beautiful night on that beautiful spring day…


"It's so beautiful here, isn't it..." Jessica says breaking the silence.


"Yeah...." Lea agrees, taking a look at the city bellow.


"Look Jessica, I better get going it's late..." Lea looks at her watch.


"Sure...Thank you so much Lea..."Jessica says with sincerity. She stands up, looking at Lea, feeling a big burden on her heart has been lifted a little, talking to her, hearing all the things about Nick, has helped her to heal some of the guilt and the pain.



"You're welcome..."


They hug each other for a while, and smile when pulling back.


Jessica walks Lea back to her car in the front yard, saying goodbyes, like close friends, but when she's about to move away, Jessica runs and stops the car, leaning on Lea's side, looking deeply into her eyes, pleading...


"Lea, please ... please take care of him..."

Lea finds a lot more reasons to love this woman, and she promises wholeheartedly,

"I will..."

Jessica smiles, watching as Lea drives away, knowing Nick is in good hands...



************

End of Part Three</span>

[littleprincessj]

<span style="font-family:Optima">Part 4



"Nick, Mr. Miller is here with his lawyer." Lucy announces to her boss, standing inside of his office. Nick was in the middle of a lawsuit; it wasn’t messy though they had both settled it easily even though Nick and his medical staff weren’t at fault.

"Where?"

"Conference room." Lucy smiles at her boss, as he stands up and makes his way to the door, making Nick wonder.


"Is there anything else, Lucy?" Nick asks quizzically, stopping in front of her.


"The lawyer? She's young, beautiful, and sexy too..." Lucy answers in a whisper.


"Lucy!!!" Nick admonishes her, and starts walking again.


"What?? It's true Nick, I think you should date her." Lucy nods her head to further emphasizes her point.


Nick just gives her a glare in return, only to have Lucy stick out her tongue at him. Nick only shakes his head at the teenager's antique, wondering again why he had hired the teenager in the first place.


Nick enters the conference room, and is about to greet his guests when he recognizes the woman standing in front of him.


"Jessica...."


******


It was simply, the strangest, most uncomfortable meeting both Nick and Jessica ever had. Trying to keep everything professional, mostly because of the client sitting there, while dealing with so many different kinds of emotions inside. Jessica had just figured out the meeting with Nick right before she left for this office, the Medical Malpractice suit had been lujacked to her by one of her colleagues. Oh how she wants to strangle him right after the meeting.


While Nick had no idea of the lawyer on this case, thankfully though, the case is not really that complicated. Both sides want to do things civilly, settling the case, and soon the meeting was over.


"Thank you so much, Mr. Lachey." Jessica extends her hand.


"You're welcome." Nick shakes her hand, feeling the familiar sensation in him, touching her again, feeling her so close, looking into those eyes, he can not believe that after years, she still able to gives him those feeling, even more.


Walking her out of the office, he just follows his heart this time.


******


"You met him again?" Mike almost screams from the other side of the phone, forcing Jessica to move away from the phone, smiling as she does so. True, meeting Nick is quite an experience, she's glad she could share it
with someone.


"You heard me Mike; yes...I met him again...today..."


Jessica feels like the fate has played again with her this time, she runs into Nick again. Her first love...

"So...."
"So...."

They talk simultaneously, before Jessica breaks into a small laugh, picturing her brother now, he must be in one of those 'my sister's crazy she's killing me with curiosity -expression' she loves so much.


"Princess...please don't play games with me, as much as I love twenty questions, I don't want to do that now..."


"Funny! But alright...nothing happened...." Jessica smiles, sitting on the couch, flipping through the remotes, before settling for 'ER' on the television.


"What?"
"Well, we just had the meeting.." Jessica replies despondently.
" Awkward..." Mike supplies knowingly, nodding his head despite the fact Jessica won't be able to see.


"Very.... trust me, you don't want to know... and well...thank Goodness the client is not that difficult we settled already...."
"And..."
"And what? That's all..."
"No Princess...there's something you don't tell me...you're doing that thing..."


"What thing?"
"The thing you do when you get nervous or hiding something from your cute big brother ...I can hear you from here...." Mike teases.
"What? I am not..." Jessica denies hotly.


"Jessica...."
"Okay...okay..." A sigh... "He asked me to go to dinner Friday...as in two days from now..."


"What????" Mike is surprised again.
"Well...he actually asked for tonight but.... I just thought it would be better if I settled for a day where I can prepare..."


Jessica trails off. Meeting with Nick again, after a very long time, giving her somewhat unsettling feelings. She had heard about him, reading about him as well, from the newspaper, having her lectures and friends mention his name once in a while, commenting his outstanding work as a doctor.


Nick has made quite a reputation. Being one of the top-notch Medical Doctor, and together with the other members of his office, has become one of the
famous Doctor’s offices in Waco. Lachey & Lyman’s Medical Office who from the Waco medical community hadn't heard that name. Helping patient after patient, and doing their
job outstandingly time and time again saving lives like they have, caring and helping their cancer patients as well and successfully as the have, has made their name. Jessica is brought back to the present by the sound of her brother calling her name.


"Jessica..."


The protective brother is on the move again, he knows everything, and doesn't want his sister being torn ever again, knowing how painful that would be. He pretty much knows, the feeling is still there, just buried after all this years, but still, it's there...


Knowing how many failed relationships, his sister had encountered, some of the reason, he's kind of certain because her still, burning flames for Nick, though
most part is her fear in commitment and relationship. Her insecurities, of being left by people she loves.


"I know, you're worried...but I just thought we would you know...talk...resolve some unsettled issues...It's just a friendly dinner..." Jessica tries to reason, remembering Nick's nervous invitation, smiling a little at the thought.


"What about you...I just..." Mike sighs with the worries he feels.


"I know you're worried about me, I know it took me a long time to forget what has happened, I know you don't want me to get hurt again, but I'm a big girl, Mike...I know how to take care of myself...I know what I'm doing..." Jessica explains re[arse]uringly.


"Jessica...."


"Mike...I promise, I'll be okay...I can take care of myself..." A pause "I need to do this, I want to do this... I...I need this...." Jessica trails off again.


"You're sure about this?" Mike still can't let go of his worries.


"Yes, and you can always kick his [arse], if he does something wrong...I mean after taking that Karate cl[arse] I'm sure..." Jessica jokes, trying to ease her brother's concern.


She is really looking forward to this meeting, wanting the entire past problem to be solved.


"Poor OLD Nick..." Mike teases, finally giving up, though still worried of his sister.

"We're not going there again, Mike!"

"I bet some white hair or wrinkles already there!"


"Mike if you don't stop teasing me I'll leave..."


"Okay...let's change the topics... hmmmmm..." Mike
muses, "How's CaCee?"


"Ha...CaCee? Poor change of topic...You really want to know?" Jessica smiles. Her brother and CaCee are just like cat and dog, oil and water. They always fight with each other, playfully... she loves the times when they all together...misses those times so much... "She's out on her date by the way..."



"No...Actually, not really, but you're gonna hang up the phone if I ask one more thing about Mr. L" Mike says teasingly, referring to how they used to call Nick in the past.


"You bet I will!!"
"Okay...so How's Mr. N"
"Who???"
"Mr. Nick, Princess..." Mike explains calmly.


Jessica slams the phone down, laughing as she does, hating but at the same times loving her brother so dry sense of humor. She counts the seconds, and on her fifth counts the phone rings again...


"No more talking about Mr. N, Mike...." Jessica smiles through the phone...
"Okay.... fine.... you win!"


"Don't I always...so tell me about Tanya...?” Jessica smiles, remembering her brother's crush, that beautiful Russian doctor he's infatuated by.


"Oh please...Tanya again?"


"Yup...Tanya again...so.... any progress there?" Jessica asks, smiling wider.


"You're still not giving up on being our matchmaker, aren't you?" Mike asks despondently.


"Yes, I am still not giving up on being your matchmaker. You guys make a cute couple." She answers firmly, nodding her head indulgently.


"Tanya and I do not and will never make a cute couple." Mike denies, not really strongly, making Jessica smile even more.


"Yeah... yeah... keep telling yourself that...I know how much you like her though. Just wait till I get there the next time, you'll have her in no time..." Jessica makes herself comfortable, putting her foot on the table in front of her, a bowl of popcorn on her lap, coffee on the table, preparing for a long Wednesday routine chat with her brother.


They chat away about everything and anything, laughing over some funny stories...before saying goodnight, resting, to face another day.


********


"Lea...hi..."Nick looks up from the paper he seems to be reading, though the truth, his mind is so far away, when Lea knocks on the door, and coming in to his office, that night.


"Hey...Lucy told me..." Lea goes straight to the point. No point in going around the bush, now. She'd wanted to talk to Nick after Lucy told her about it, in Lucy's words 'the cute babe' she thought Nick should date. Lea has been in the hospital all day, with Jimmy and their new patient, so she missed the meeting with Jessica.


"So...it's really 'the Jessica Simpson...." Lea half asking half stating.


"Yup...It's her...Jessica Simpson..." Nick puts down the paper, looking into his best friend's eyes.
"I can't believe after so many years...." Nick trails off, shaking his head.


"She's living in the same town, Nick...you just can meet her everywhere..." Lea points out for him.


"Yeah...but we didn't...never...not until today..." Nick offers lamely.


He has heard about Jessica numerous times. She had made her own name. One of the most respected young attorneys In Waco graduated from Harvard with
honors, getting a job at a prestigious law firm, and soon makes her way to the top. Focusing more on civil law, she had won so many cases. The first victory and probably one of the most famous is that Tobacco case. A case that not only won her millions in the amount of money, but also captured the attention of the whole Waco Law Community and also the press. Gaining her their respect, attention, and admiration… Yes, she has made her name.


"So...what's next?" Lea asks casually, noticing how Nick looks at anywhere but her, seeming to be uneasy. He must be hiding something.


"We're having dinner this Friday...." Nick answer softly after a while, prepared for what's sure to be a shock response after.


"What???"


"Lea... It’s only dinner...I just want to know her...I mean catching up some stuff..." Nick offers, but Lea knows better.


"Nick...are you thinking..."


Lea looks at Nick with her imploring eyes, she knows how hooked up Nick is, still, by this woman, she had seen him going through countless terrible dates, most set up by their friends. She had seen him trying to get past her only to have it fail. In all these years, no one has come even close to make Nick have a crush on, let alone fall in love. No one. So, finally, he puts all his energy on work and his career, never really thought of his personal life.


Nick knows lying to Lea would be useless. She knows and reads him so well. His first instinct when meeting Jessica today was to be with her again. All those
feelings he had been trying to bury, all the emotions... all come out to the surface. He had forgiven Jessica a long time ago, has since trying to move up, trying to be a better man, so that one day, he would feel that he deserve to feel happiness, to finally able to have the courage of fighting for his love.


The first time he heard about Jessica's achievement, he had been so proud, realizing that he had made the right choice for her that time, when he let her go. Now, she can do all the things she wants to do. She can achieve her dreams of going to Harvard, helping people in need, do all her noble goal.


He couldn't count how many times he had wanted to meet her, to see her, to again, feeling those amazing things when being with her. But each time, he just
step back, too afraid to get hurt. Afraid that it would just open an old wound hasn't healed completely.



Trying to forget her, only to have it failed, giving up finally, knowing it was useless to try. So, he loves her from afar. Afraid that if he had come too close, he wouldn't be able to stay away and he needed to stay away.


But meeting her today, he just wants her to be in his arms again, having again all those feeling she brought for him when they were together, so happy, so
carefree, so at ease, so... beautiful... he's just afraid that this time, she doesn't want him anymore...



"After so many years, and she still have the same effect on me...even more...." He shakes his head, smiling a little "I've never felt like this... I tried to forget her...but..." Nick looks at Lea, trying to make her understand, trying to convey his feeling.


"You still love her..." Lea states knowingly.


"Yes...." Nick answer with conviction, his voice falters a bit, with the fear that Jessica won't be feeling the same anymore..." And even if I don't I'll fall for her again, in an instant..."


"But you do..."


"Yes, I do..." A pause… "I want her back..." He says again.


"Nick are you sure?" Lea sees into her friend's eyes, seeing nothing but determination there.


"I've never been more sure in my life....I want her Lea, more than I have ever wanted any other thing in my life, she's the only one I can envisioned my future with, the only one making me whole and complete...making me at home…” Nick looks at Lea, a smile playing on his lips as he recalls those beautiful moments that have filling his heart. "I love her...." He voices the only things he knows for
sure, the only thing he never doubts of.


"Good luck!!!!" Lea smiles, and continues as an afterthought." She's a great woman."


"She is...." Nick does a double take. "Have you...have you...met her, Lea?" He asks out of the blue.


"Hmmmmm...well..." Lea is a bit undetermined whether she should tell him or not. "Well... Yes...few days after you told me...I...I went to see her." She's watching Nick's face. Looking for some sign of what his reaction is, but he remains expressionless. "I'm sorry, Nick...." Lea says after a while.


"For what?" Nick looks at her surprised.

"For not telling you...or..."

"You have every right to meet her and know her....its okay, Lea...." Nick smiles, easing the uncomfortable feeling away.

"Okay...well... I'm leaving now.... you're not going home?"


"I think I'll stay here for a while..." Nick smiles and sees Lea walking to the office door...
"Lea..." She turns around. "Thank you...."


"You're welcome." They smile understandingly at each other, a smile from years of friendship.


Lea leaves the office; leaving Nick with his own thought, still thinking about the most expected dinner he's ever had.


*******


"YOU WHAT?!?!?!" CaCee is screaming, literally, jumping up from the couch, pacing around their living room, so agitated.


"You're having dinner with Nick Lachey? The Nick Lachey? I mean that jerk that was just in the malpractice suit???" CaCee knows she's been so harsh about her comments, but after loosing yet another patient to this so-called Nick Lachey, she feels like she's entitled to call him by any name. "How did it happen???"


"CaCee!!!!" Jessica admonishes her best friend and roommate. "Please sit down...you're making me dizzy..."


"I can't believe this!" CaCee turns away suddenly, walking towards Jessica, pointing angrily.


"Answer me Simpson, Are you dating this guy...this..." CaCee is trying to hold back her next word. "Jerk!!!!!" And fails, as the word comes out even harsher.


"When did this happened, what have you been hiding from me?????" CaCee begins pacing furiously again.


"I'm not dating him; it's just a dinner... a friendly dinner after we settled the case...that's all!!!" Jessica looks away from CaCee's eyes, knowing she would know if she's hiding something instantly. Personally she never know why she never told CaCee about their past. They have been friends ever since they started college years ago, have since sharing everything together, loving each other like sisters. She told CaCee everything, right up until the most embarr[arse]ing moments she had, but somehow she never had the courage to tell her about this, though she's dying to say it.


"Not DATING!!!" CaCee is still furious, not really noticing Jessica's action. "NOT DATING, yes right it's a friendly dinner...it's just celebration after the case.... next thing I know it would turn into another dinner and then another and .BOOM...you guys would...oh hell...I don't even want to think about that now." Jessica smiles through CaCee's overreacted ranting.


"I mean it's not that I'm not happy you're dating again, I mean after Chris you deserve..." She notices Jessica's discomfort hearing the name, and stops. "I'm Sorry, Jess..." CaCee says softer and goes to sit beside Jessica, holding her hand, offering her comfort.


"It's okay..." Jessica smiles at CaCee, knowing she didn't mean any harm when she mentioned the name.


"But Nick Lachey????? Jessica... you're my best friend...." CaCee whines...looking at her...


"So???" Jessica is a bit confused.


"I know he's kind of cute and all but..." A pause as CaCee sighs heavily, and looks at Jessica.


"Do You know what HE did today??? He TOOK what was supposed to be my new patient from me! I could have had the patient, if only that stupid person didn't fall for Nick Lachey’s baby blues... that JERK..." CaCee is back into her angry mood.


"So...I take it...you lost..." Jessica knows how CaCee hates losing patients.


"YES...and you're DATING HIM." CaCee turns back to
Jessica. "Jessica... you can do so much better than him, I heard so many bad things about him in the hospital halls..."


CaCee has heard some rumors going on in the hospital about this Nick Lachey, though knowing most of them are probably not true, but still, she's worried for her friends. Jessica has had too many heartache and pain; she just doesn't want her to be hurt again, especially by this ...jerk...


“CaCee..." Jessica sighs. "You know those gossips are not true...remember when they made rumors about me going out with Judge Ripley?" CaCee looks at Jessica.


"I'm just worried about you, that's all..." A pause... “And I like Judge Ripley more...he's gorgeous... and he did like you..." Jessica smiles.


“CaCee... I'm not dating him...so stop worrying..." She stands up, looking through the window; it's a perfect opportunity to tell CaCee, everything.


"I just need to do this...."


"You NEED to have dinner with Nick Lachey..." CaCee supplies. "Why?" She asks sarcastically.


Jessica ignores CaCee's tone, and decides to tell her everything.
"We...we had a history...a past... and I want to have this dinner with him...to solve that problem, so I could move on..."


Jessica means every word that she said. All this years, behind her mask of being okay, and happy...there's always that sadness in her heart, heartache, hasn't been healed completely...the pain of being left and given up, rejected, the pain of hurting someone she so deeply love, and hasn't been forgiven.... And she wants those to go away...


"What are you talking about?" CaCee's somewhat confused. "You're saying...are you saying you've dated him before? When? I know all your boyfriends...."


"It was way before...before we met..."


"But we met in college that means..." CaCee does a mental calculation; only to have it fail, as she can't come up with a great conclusion. She looks up at Jessica with a confuse gaze...


"I was sixteen when we dated...."


"WHAT?????" CaCee's eyes got big by surprise. "But he's like... he's like...."


"10 years older than me, I know...he didn't know CaCee... I told him I was 21..."


"Well, he's stupid... that's for sure... I mean even now... without make up... you will still look like 16 he..." CaCee stops, when Jessica glares at her. She just has to stay quiet, it's something important for Jessica, that one she can tell, and she’s doing one of her nervous nail-biting thing.


"Sorry...Jess... please continue..."


"My life... that time... it was so... complicated... so hard... I just lost my grandmother... and remember when I told you about Teri?" Jessica asks referring to the person she thought was her best friend.


"Yes...that [nice person]!!!" CaCee hates Teri, having met her couple of times, knowing how she had hurt Jessica with all her actions, even until now.


"I just had my first fight with her... finding out what she really thinks... and her relationship with David..." Jessica's eyes flicker with pain, still remembering those feeling of betrayal she felt. "I lost two best friends, the friends that I always thought would always be there for me... at the same time... and then on top of that...out of nowhere... my parents told me they wanted to get a divorce... I felt so alone...and so...I don't know...It was a very hard time..." Jessica smiles bitterly remembering the time she had been so lost...


"And then I met Nick..." CaCee sees the soften of her eyes when she mentions his name, never seen that before, knowing it's a real thing.


"We met on this beautiful park..." Her mind goes back to a time long ago.



~ *** ~


"You come from somewhere around here? cause I've been here for a while and I've never seen you before..." Jessica asks the young man sitting beside her on the bench, seemingly deep in thought, just trying to make small conversation.


"It's my first time here...in this park after a very long time..." Nick looks at the woman smiling at him, with that beautiful smile, looking at him with a little tilt of her head into the side, so ...elegant.


"Yeah?" The woman asks again.


"Yeah...my mom used to bring me here when I was a kid..." Nick answers, and not even knowing why, has told her something he had never told people before, so easily. "She p[arse]ed away... about ten years ago...cancer..."


"Oh I'm sorry about your Mom, and I didn't mean ..." Jessica makes the apology, feeling bad for having asked the question.


"Forget about it..." Nick replies and smiles.


"I just..."


"It's okay..."


Nick smiles and takes her hands, squeezing it, [arse]uring her, looking through her eyes. Jessica is surprised with the actions, yet, she's not moving or pulling her hand away, just looking into his eyes, seeing sincerity there, he's not mad, and he does seem nice. She smiles back, relaxed.


Nick realized what he's been doing, holding a woman's hand he barely knows, he let go of her, though feeling sorry, but he has to, saying 'I'm sorry' to which she replies with a smile and a nod of 'it's okay'.


"I'm Jessica, by the way...Jessica Simpson..." Jessica extends her hands, liking the man instantly.


"Nick Lachey." Nick takes her hand, shakes it a little too long, before both breaks into laughter of how strange they have been acting.


"So, you live around here?" Nick asks after a while.


"No...I just visit here once in a while...I love this park...so beautiful..."


"Yeah..." They smile at each other, enjoying the view.


"So..."
"Jessica..." They say simultaneously. Jessica smiles, offering him to go first.


"What are you drawing?" Nick motions to the sketchbook on her lap.
"Just some stuff...."
"May I..." Jessica's hesitant for a moment before looking into his eyes, giving him her answer.
"Sure..."


~ *** ~

"You let him see your pictures?" CaCee's a bit surprised. Jessica's pretty much closed off about herself. Her pictures are parts of her she rarely shares with people, because they show who she really is, her feeling, and her emotions.


"Yes…I did... I felt like I could trust him...and I always know I could...." Jessica smiles, remembering all the good times. "So...we met almost everyday after... talking about everything and anything...and before we know it...we fell in love..." Jessica smiles remembering all those lovely moments she still cherishes within her heart.


"What happened then?" CaCee sees the love clearly on Jessica's face, even now, wondering what has caused the separation.


"He found out the truth...he didn't take it well... and so... we went our separated ways..." Jessica offers shortly, sadly.


"Jessica..." CaCee sees the sadness enveloping her friend instantly, her heart goes for her, and it must have been so hard for Jessica.


"It was hard, CaCee... but I finally able to be okay..."


"Really????" CaCee knows better. All this time when she sees a hint of sadness in her eyes, her fear of love and relationship, how she tends to run from love... She never really understands why... and now, she had a glimpse of what those reasons were...


Jessica looks at her best friend's face that's full of concern, and knows she can't lie to her.


"Not really..." She whispers shakily. "I loved him, CaCee, and I was ready to put all my future at risk, I was ready to give up all my dreams and to follow him, to be with him... but he didn't want me..." Jessica trails off, feeling the familiar emotions, the heartache, the pain, buried inside of her, resurface again.


CaCee not knowing what else to do, just holds her hand tighter, offering support.


"That's why I need this... I need to talk to him... after all this years... I want to be able to move on fully, to be okay...again..."


"But Jessica..." CaCee's worries reach out a whole new level, realizing the effect Nick has on her friend. She just wants her to be happy. "You're sure about this?"


Jessica smiles, remembering her brother's exact same question; she's so lucky to have two person cares so deeply for her. And she answers the same.


"Yes...I'm sure."


"So...Nick Lachey...huh???" CaCee says after a while, smiling teasingly, wanting to lighten the mood.



"What???" Jessica goes on alert; CaCee is in one of her moods.


"I just never thought you'd fall for those blues, I always thought you love brown better...." CaCee adds.


"CaCee..."


"But then again... he's kinda cute...and he does have a great body too..." CaCee winks at her, smiling naughtily. "Tell me something Jess...was he good???" CaCee smiles wider, winking again at Jessica. There's no mistaken as to what CaCee is referring to.


"CaCee!!!" Jessica admonishes her throwing a pillow, blushing as she does so.


"He's good...” CaCee says smugly and nods understandingly, making Jessica blush even more.


******


Nick rides the elevators, bouncing his feet nervously, and a single rose on his hand, marooned rose, one of Jessica's favorite. The ding of the elevator brought him to her floor. He search down the hall for her apartment, and finds it, summoning up all his courage before ringing the bell.


"I'll get it!!!" CaCee races to the front door, laughing when Jessica, who's trying to compete with her, almost lost balance. "Jess... you shouldn't be running with those high heels..." CaCee says trough her laughs, opening the door, still laughing.


"Hey...Nick...What a surprise!" She greets cheekily.



"CaCee..?” Nick is somewhat confused, has he gone to the wrong apartment, but Jessica's figure comes to his view, and he smiles, taking in her beauty. Falling, all over again, for how many times, he doesn't know.


"Hey..." Jessica greets him, smiling as she does so, thinking how he still has those effects on her after this many years, that blue eyes, the smile forming on his lips.


CaCee looks between the two who just stand there, staring at each other. “Okay...forget I'm here..." CaCee opens the door wider, motioning Nick to get in.


"I'm sorry... I didn't know you guys are roommates..."


"Well, now you know..." CaCee replies a little harsh, still a little ticked off over her loss, earning her a glare from Jessica. Nick chooses to ignore her comment.


"Jess... It's for you...” Nick hands her the flower. Admiring her with his gaze... "You... you look amazing..." He smiles appreciatively.


"Thank You...." She blushes. Nick shakes his head, they have to go now, and they won't be doing that if he continues looking at her like this.


"You're ready?"


"Yeah..." Jessica takes her coat, having Nick helping her to put it on. Smiling when they're done, to each other.


"Bye, CaCee..." Jessica smiles at her, waving a little.
"Bye, Babe...Take care..."
"Goodnight CaCee..." Nick nods politely.
"Yeah, good night." CaCee waves to both of them.


"Jessica..." CaCee calls before Jessica walks out, with Bobby by her side.
" Yes?" Jessica turns around only to find her best friend holds her tight, too overwhelmed, she just holds her back, feeling the emotions on this hug.


"Just...just take care of yourself, okay...Good luck..." CaCee whispers on her ear, making sure Nick won't listen, and pulls back looks at her best friend with tears bringing in her eyes. Having heard all that happened, she understands how deep the love goes, and knowing all that Jessica has been through all these
years, she just wants the best for her. She doesn't want her to get hurt again, and if this Nick Lachey ever hurt her...she knows she would be in the first line to give him some lessons....


Jessica nodded, before turning to Nick, and taking the arms extended to her.


******


"She always does that before your dates?"


Nick asks curiously, referring to CaCee's weird action, while sitting on the restaurant, breaking the silence. The whole car ride was done in silence. Both dealing with their emotions and feeling of being together again, so close, just the two of them after all this time.


"No... Not always..." Jessica answers, smiling. "And it's not a date." She adds belatedly. The waiter comes to take their order, saving her from further Nick's question.


"Oh... yeah...right..." Nick replies’, feeling a bit uncomfortable, is it just him or Jessica is being a little hostile.


"It's a nice place." Jessica says admiring the view their table has. Nick has a great choice here. "So beautiful...." She smiles at Nick.


"Yeah...” Nick admiring yet another beautiful view agrees completely.


Jessica looks down, a bit embarr[arse]ed with the obvious admiration, while Nick enjoying her expression. She hasn't changed all that much.


"I’ve heard so much about you..." Nick starts again after a while.


"Really…?"


"Yeah... Law Review, Waco Herald.... you make quite
a name..."


"Thanks, You too...."


"Not like you..."


"Sure, You're not..." Jessica smiles smugly; earning her a fake glare in return, makes her laugh.


"And what is that suppose to mean?"


"Well, CaCee's been a great source of so many stories about you..."


"Umff...This can't be good!"


Jessica laughs over Nick's fake miserable expression. Loving the relaxing feeling, though knowing that might not be there for long.


Nick enjoys seeing her laugh, loving every seconds of being with her, those eyes, still the same eyes that always beckon him near, that beautiful face, who's smile he always looks forward to seeing.


Having been separated for years, and now, meeting her again, still with all the qualities that made her, the woman he loves, and even more, he knows, without a doubt, he wants her.


"You look even more beautiful now, Jessica..." Nick surprised himself he has said his feeling out loud, hadn't meant to be too blunt.


"Nick...." Jessica sighs and looks away. Feeling uncomfortable for she doesn't know why. She's been looking forward to this dinner, but yet, she feels the familiar feeling of fear. He had let her go once, makes her feel so alone and so in pain, she's so afraid she would feel that way again.


The waiter brings their order and they finish their meal in silence, talking occasionally about small stuff. Nick noticing her discomfort decides that probably she's not ready. She still needs time. A lot to digest at once... Their meeting after years being apart, his taking her to dinner, making clear of his intention... She needs more time.


So he directs the conversation into small stuff, bringing joy and relaxation into it. Enjoying the feeling of being close to her again.


*******


"Why didn't you try to see me, Nick?" Jessica asks him suddenly, when they're walking through the park, they're so familiar with, making Nick a bit taken aback with the question.


"I..." Nick stops walking, looks deep into her eyes, he knows his reasons, why he had made those decisions.


"Please tell me the truth..." Jessica looks up, pleading with her eyes. "Did you hate me?" Jessica asks again after Nick still not answering her for a while.


She has been through these for too many times, wondering why hadn't he comes for her. Still believing he hasn't forgiven her fully, or even worse, that he has forgotten all about her. And those thoughts hurt her when he still feels so strongly for him.


She has played and imagined so many different things of what his reasons are, trying to understand his actions for not fighting their love, for not trying to have her back. But every time, she always comes to different conclusions, different possibilities, and she just wants to know the truth.


"No...no...Jessica...I didn't and never have hated you...never..." Nick answer vehemently.


"But..."


"I forgave you....years ago...I understand everything that you did....I understand..." Nick looks into her eyes the whole time he talks, holding both her hands in his.


"Then Why..."


Jessica looks at him with curiosity. These whole years of not knowing, of questioning, of not even able to forgive herself for what she had done to him. Now, she had gotten the p[arse] key to finally forgive herself completely, to finally free of all those guilt and pain... to finally be really okay again.... He has forgiven her... But still she wonders why... why hasn't he gone to see her...


"I was afraid... I was hurt...confuse... a lot of things happened... that... I needed time to think... to short things through... and I...I just thought you would be better off without me... that I would just stand in your way of being the person you always wanted... I could never give you what you want, Jessica... that Harvard education, a decent living like..."


Jessica listens to him, hearing the truth of what she had thought all this time, his reason behind all his actions. He thinks he wasn't good enough for her, he was afraid. She had known that, and she wants to make him see how wrong that thoughts are...


"I didn't need Harvard or any other thing as much as I needed you..." She says in a whisper, looking deep into his eyes, hoping he would believe her, but looks away after telling him one thing she always wanted to say to him all this years.


Nick hears the heartfelt admission, seeing nothing but sincerity and love in her eyes, watching her looks away, hiding the tears bringing in her eyes. How can he ever doubt her, doubt her love. All this years of being afraid, of being so stupidly alone, and those are useless, if only he knew, he would have come to her...


She looks into his eyes again. "I can't count how many times I wanted you to just come after me and..." A tear sliding down her face, she couldn't stop. "I wanted you to fight for us...I..." She looks down, but Nick tilts her chin up...


"I'm sorry...." Nick says while wiping her tears. Touching her forehead with his own, lost in the realm of being with her again, of touching her, having her so close. Knowing he had broken his determination of not pushing her too fast, but seeing those tears, noticing her sadness, he only wants to take them away.
"I'm sorry..."


Jessica sighs and pulls away. As much as she loves having him close, she wants him to know that she understands that she knows his reason. And there are still a lot of things that they have to face. She had been through a lot of things, and she needs time before she's ready.


"No, Nick... I understand... I really do..." Jessica looks deeply into his eyes, holding his hands still cupping her face, entwine their fingers. "I understand..." She adds sincerely.


"Forgive me..." Nick looks at her hopefully. Remembering all those things he had done to her, all the things he had said, all the hurt and pain he had caused... he wishes she would forgive him, and they could move on from there... see where that will go...


"Nick.... there's nothing to forgive...I mean it was mostly my fault..." Jessica stops when she sees Nick shaking his head, she understands he needs the validation, just like she did, he needs her to forgive him for having let her go, and she has forgiven him, she finally has... and how wonderful the feeling is.


"I forgive you..." She strokes his cheek lovingly. Nick takes her hands, kissing each one after the other, and nervously saying the things he's been dying to say.


"I really want to try for us, Jessica... I want to fight this time... I don't care what will happen, what will stand in our way, I'll fight it... All these years I tried to convince myself that I'll be okay, but I can't ... I can't be really okay... Not without you there by my side..."

"Me too..." Jessica smiles through her tears, hearing him saying those words, the words she so longs to hear. Way more beautiful than what she had imagined. The words she had lost hope of ever hearing from him...


“Let's try again, Jessica...lets try it right this time..." Nick holds her hand even tighter, looking deep into her eyes…


"There's a lot of things happened to me Nick, I...." Jessica shakes her head. True, after their separation, she had been through stuff she's not sure she had healed from completely, and she wants to heal...


"I want to know that, I want to share everything with you...I want to face everything...our past...our future...together..."


"Nick..." Jessica is scared. It's too soon, too fast, she's not ready.


"I love you, Jessica...I always have... let's try again... let's..."


"Nick....please...” Jessica pulls back a little. Too scared, everything is so fragile, they just met again few days back, they need more time, she needs more time.


"I'm sorry...I...." Nick realized belatedly what he had been saying. He's too exited to have her there right within his reach, so he tries to convey the things in his heart, trying to let her see, what's been there all along, what always been there all this years, that he didn't think of her feelings as well. He has pushed her and now, he's afraid she would just run.


"I'll wait for you, Jessica... as long as you need me too..." Nick smiles, wiping the tears on Jessica's face tenderly with his hands. "I will wait, okay? Until you're ready…You don't have to do anything. No need to rush..." Nick looks at her lovingly, he would wait for eternity, if that what it'll take, he's sure of his feeling, even after all this years, years of being apart, and he only feels more in love...


Jessica can't answer him as the words fail her she nods slightly. She knows she still loves him, and knows too, by the look in his eyes, this time, it would be different, but she still needs time to be really ready, to finally able to give freely, there have been so many things that have happened to her, the pain, and heartache that needs to be healed...

"Now, let's go home...I don't want CaCee spreading bad rumors about me if I don't get you back in time…" Nick jokes trying to lighten the mood.


Jessica laughs softly, wiping her tears. She looks up at Nick and sees his sincerity, and love in the blue eyes, she never forgets. Too overwhelmed to speak, she reaches up, and kisses his cheek.


"Thank you, Nick." She says when pulling back, finally finds her voice.


Nick smiles, and holds her close, feeling his world complete, perfect finally. He knew there's still a long way before he finally really has her again, but he knows there's a chance there still. He senses a lot has happened in the years that they had separated in the hints of sadness he sees in those beautiful eyes he loves. But he's sure their love would last them through everything. Whatever it is, they'll get through it.



*******

The End!</span>